As Easy As... (10)

As Easy As... (10)

The march toward Sleepless City's capitol building was short and uneventful. Well, if you could call the growing hordes of addicted NPC's uneventful. Dr. Zlo found it uneventful as no one tried to stop his grand march toward the capitol. Here the villain was, blatantly advertising his evil identity, and no one batted an eye.

Okay, sure. A few guards appeared in front of Dr. Zlo in a weak attempt to stop the villain from moving forward. But by and large, the majority of the NPC protectors ran around corraling those addicted to the cookies. Blue uniformed men pulled out tasers and batons, forcibly stopping the addicted as they looted stores and shops for cookies.

"You know," Sweet Dream said as she watched the chaos. "There's no way this would play out the same in the real world."

"Whatcha mean, dude?" Riptide said.

"The addiction is too aggressive," Sweet Dream elaborated. "People can easily see what eating a cookie does to you. It only works out here because these low-intelligence NPCs just buy and eat at random."

"Lucky for us then," Dylan commented. "Otherwise, we'd need to put a lot more work into the cookies. Only make them slightly addicting, so people don't feel huge cravings for them until it's too late."

"Nah, dudes," Riptide said. "We'd still get our army."

"No, that's not what I mean," Sweet Dream said. "We'd definitely get a good number of people if we tried this, but the effects are immediate, and everyone can see those affected act strange. If we wanted to take over the entire city, we'd have to put some work into keeping everyone in the dark."

"I dunno," Riptide said. "A lot of people like to keep themselves in the dark, dudes."

Riptide's two friends looked at him.

"Wow. That was kinda deep," Sweet Dream joked.

Riptide smiled, "I know, right! I'm full of deep thoughts."

"More like, full of it," Dylan joked.

Riptide recoiled, "Oh, Dr. Zlo! You wound me. Good thing my pride isn't as fragile as yours."

"You dare mock the greatest villain!" Dr. Zlo blustered.

"Case in point, dude," Riptide joked.

"Bah," Dr. Zlo scoffed. "You're only jealous of my prowess."

A mob of addicted NPCs ran across the group's path for a moment, a line of guards chasing after them. They watched as the crowd crashed into a building, shoving the employees out of the way to go for a row of treats in the back. The guards followed in after them, cuffing whoever they could and tasing anyone who charged at them.

"If you feed the cookies to the guards, they won't stop you anymore!" Dr. Zlo called out helpfully.

The others looked at him.

"What? I want to see if they'll listen and pass the info on."

"No. I'm just upset I didn't think to say it earlier," Sweet Dream said.

"That's because you're not a criminal mastermind!" Dr. Zlo gloated.

"Save it for the heroes, dude," Riptide joked.

"Bah, as if I have a limit on gloating. No, I shall gloat wherever and whenever! For I am Dr. Zlo!"

The villain threw his hands up in an evil laugh. The sound of lightning followed, though no one saw a stormcloud in the sky.

"Dude, what was that?" Riptide asked.

"You like it?" Dr. Zlo answered. "It's my ambiance enhancer. It makes sure all my evil gloating comes with thematic background noise."

"Dude!" Riptide laughed. "I love it!"

"Like you?" The Imp replied innocently.

Sweet Dream and Riptide laughed.

"He's got your number, dude," Riptide answered.

"Quiet!" Dr. Zlo commanded. He turned to The Imp, "Don't talk back, Zlo-Mite."

The Imp frowned, "Why not?"

"Because," Dr. Zlo said.

"Because why?"

"Because I said!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

The Imp frowned, "That doesn't seem like a good answer."

Dr. Zlo groaned while his two companions laughed in the background.

"Kids aren't supposed to be this articulate," the villain complained.

"But I'm your kid!" The Imp said proudly. "So, of course, I'd be smart!"

Dr. Zlo narrowed his eyes. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing. You're trying to make me like you. It won't work."

"Shh," Sweet Dream said. "Look."

The villainess pointed down the street toward a line of guards behind a makeshift sandbag wall.

"Impossible!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "How could they know we were coming!"

"Oh! I know!" The Imp said with his hand raised.

Dr. Zlo looked at The Imp, "Did you do something?"

"I told them we were coming!" The Imp said cheerily. "You said it was time to announce our presence!"

Dr. Zlo smacked his face in exasperation. Sweet Dream and Riptide were on the ground, laughing so hard tears formed in their eyes.

"He's - He's really got your number, dude!" Riptide said between wheezes.

"Oh my god! He really is a mini you!" Sweet Dream continued.

"Silence!" Dr. Zlo roared. He turned to The Imp, "Zlo-Mite! We don't announce our presence and give the enemy time! Who knows what traps they'll have for us now!"

"Don't worry!" The Imp said. "I can take care of it!"

Before Dr. Zlo could stop him, The Imp leaped into the group of guards. The NPCs all turned, and The Imp puffed up his chest proudly.

"I am Zlo-Mite! The greatest villain to ever walk the earth! Tremble before me as I utterly fail in my plans!"

"I'm going to kill him," Dr. Zlo growled. "No one mocks me and gets away with it."

"Oh god, dude," Riptide said. "That was perfect. You totally need to make a minion like this later. Something that mocks Dr. Zlo."

"As if I would ever make something like that," Dr. Zlo scoffed. "Zlo-Mite obviously doesn't understand what they're talking about."

"I think he knows exactly what he's doing," Sweet Dream said. "Look."