Chapter 344 343. What Happens If He Doesn't Hold Back.



"You are the only light to shine in my darkness." Eshwar said with a calm face. Isha felt a strange chill around her heart before a warm feeling engulfed her whole being because she was able to understand the deeper, greater meaning of his words.

"Isha...." Eshwar suddenly called out sorrowfully and arduously.

"It..... It's hard, Isha." Eshwar spoke with great pain hidden behind his pitiful smile as he looked at her.

"It's hard being a stronger person." Eshwar said, though his words were something that could dumbfound many, his hurt, broken voice killed all the mood for jokes.

"I have to hold back on doing anything and everything. I have to focus on my walk so that I don't accidentally crack my footing on the ground. I have to be mindful of holding a spoon, my pants' zip, a mug, a comb, utensils, food, drink, everything, so that I don't break or squish them. I have to be mindful of everything, every goddamn thing." Eshwar said in a broken tone; not once had he raised his voice as he explained himself as if he were talking with a child.

"Finally.... even my emotions." Eshwar said, and it was then that his voice abruptly turned emotionless, as if all the emotions he displayed previously were an act.

"You know, there is nobody more pitiful than a strong person. He can't mingle with anyone; he can't be intimate with his loved ones—no, ignore intimate; that's too far-fetched—they can't even make physical contact with others." Eshwar said and continued

"Hahahaha. Just control your strength? Just control your strength, my a*s. You think controlling one's strength is easy? That's bullsh*t. You either hold back your everything and become a fake and a pushover, or don't hold back anything and become a menace to society, which throws you out as an outcast if you break something that's valuable for them." Eshwar said as he laughed menacingly.

"Isha, I'm a God! Do you understand that?" Eshwar abruptly zoomed towards her with his face twisted menacingly as he repeatedly hit the right side of his head, as if asking her if his words were entering her mind, in response to which Isha flinched and floated back, trembling.

"Isha, am I sensitive to emotions?" Eshwar abruptly asked her, and as if his previous menacingly twisted face was a lie, his expression changed, and he was now back to being emotionless.

"...." Isha stared at him fearfully, and there wasn't a single part of Eshwar, whom she loved, in front of her.

"Answer me. Am I? Or, am I not?" Eshwar asked, snapping her out of her stupor as she moved back, horrified by the person in front of her.

SNAP-!

With a snap of his fingers, a dark room isolated them from the outside, in which, except for Isha, who was glowing, not even a hint of light was able to peer through.

"Answer me." Eshwar's, no, the demon's, ominous voice sounded right next to her, scaring the literal lights out of her.

"Kyaaaa!!!" Isha screamed in horror and flapped her wings as she tried to fly towards the wall, but no matter how much she flew, she couldn't find the end of the darkness that shrouded everything.

"Answer me." Again, his voice sounded, fading away behind her.

"Aaaaaa!!!! You are!! You are!!! You are, Eshwar; please stop doing this!" Isha screamed in horror; she had subconsciously used her divinity in there, but except for it fading away as soon as it was out of physical contact with Isha, nothing really happened.

But, luckily

CRA-CRACK-!

SHATTER-!!

The isolation shattered into pieces, and they were back outside, under the moons that shone brilliantly, with Eshwar, the demon, in front of her.

"Aaaaa!!!" Isha screamed and zoomed back, but was stopped by a grip around her wrist. She turned to face the source and found Eshwar holding her lightly, but this time, without caring for anything, she retracted her hand and zoomed back as she continued to gaze at him fearfully.

"I'm sorry, that was my current emotional state." Eshwar said it apologetically, but this time she didn't dare believe him.

"Now, please answer me: how should I run away from that emotion?" Eshwar asked, and for whatever reason, Eshwar's figure with a cracked, void-filled heart, which she saw while she was dragged into his consciousness, flashed in her mind.

"Without you, I do not know how to escape that emotion." Eshwar said truthfully, though she desperately tried her best not to trust any of the words that came out of his mouth, she couldn't help but to believe them because she herself had experienced how horrifying being engulfed by nothing but darkness felt.

"You agreed to the fact that I'm sensitive to emotions; then why did you think that everything I showed you was fake instead of thinking they were just the smallest part of what I wanted to show you?" Eshwar asked, and that put a halt on all of her thoughts.

"You are strong yourself, Isha. So, hug a child without holding back; let's see what happens afterwards." Eshwar stated, and due to children being dragged into the topic, she snapped out of her daze and

"They'll get hurt!!" She yelled.

"Then, isn't that just you being fake?"

"How would I be fake? I'm just worried about them!"

"Then why is it different when it comes to me? Aren't you just being a hypocrite?"

"How am I being hypocrite? I'm strong! You can be you when you are with me!"

"Are you stronger than me?"

"Ye...."

"....."

"....."

"....."

"Isha, I have told you a lot of times that I love the world I have created."

"...."

"I'll come back to that. How would you feel if you hugged a child and it busted to death because you didn't control your strength?"

"I would be.... tormented." Isha answered after imagining herself in that scenario in her mind, due to which she shuddered violently.

"I'll give you a glimpse of what would happen if I felt an emotion without holding back." Eshwar said, and his words sounded ominous for some reason, and she understood why a few seconds later.

RUMBLE-!!!

The land began to tremble as if a strong earthquake were happening, and it wasn't long until Isha understood the reason the land was shaking.

The surrounding vegetation began to decay and the land began to turn barren; all the moisture in the surroundings began to dry out at a terrifying rate, and the cause for those happenings was none other than Eshwar, who stood gazing at Isha with a broken expression on his face.

"Papa, stop! The whole world is turning barren!!!" Eunomia's loud yell sounded from below, and

'I'm a God, Isha.' Eshwar's words from earlier sounded in her consciousness, and she shuddered violently.

"STOP!!" Isha yelled, not because the world was being destroyed, but because her heart was clenching painfully as his strong emotions began to influence her.

"It hurts, Isha." Eshwar's sorrowful, near-tearful voice sounded and literally broke her heart, but soon, Eshwar controlled his emotions, and the tremoring world returned to normal, though it had become nearly barren.

"This is what happens when I'm sad." Eshwar said, as Eunomia took things under her control with a snap of her fingers,

STILL-!

Absolute silence descended upon the world as "everything," except for Eshwar, Isha, and Eunomia, stopped.

SNAP-!

With another snap of her fingers, the time regressed back by a few seconds, before everything in the world was normal.

And again,

RUMBLE-!

The world trembled violently as clouds multiplied hastily; this time, even the sky began to rumble as thunder and lightning began to sing in a symphony, as the moons began to glimmer radiantly, gleefully, as rain began to fall profusely under a jovial, vegetation around the world began to bloom buoyantly, and as the capillary waves filled the water bodies, almost instantly, the entire world was engulfed in a blithe.

"You are happy...." Isha answered in a daze, mesmerised by the changes around her, which were filled with ruins previously, and that was also because of him.

SNAP-!

SNAP-!

Again, with two snaps of Eunomia's fingers, the world regressed back by a few seconds.

"With me being so sensitive to emotions, what would happen to the things around me?" Eshwar asked.

"It would either flourish or be destroyed...." Isha answered, but Eshwar's answer caught her off guard.

"No, either way, it would only bring destruction. Nature would take over and humanity will face its doom, if I'm happy. Isha, everything you just saw just now happened in a matter of seconds. What do you think will happen if I'm happy for a minute? Half an hour? An hour? A day? And that is if I'm happy. What do you think will happen if I'm sad? A few seconds, and the world will be doomed. You can't even imagine what would happen if I were angry." Eshwar explained.

"...." Hearing his words, Isha turned silent, not because she didn't want to refute them, but because there was nothing she could refute about him.

"Now, back to the scenarios. You are me, and now that you have hugged a child, will you hold back and become a fake, or will you kill that child?"

"I'll...." Isha stopped herself before she completed her words.

"And would you rather love me like a fake or love me while killing everything surrounding us?"

"....."

"Now, back to my case. I love the world I have created, Isha; I didn't wish for it to be destroyed just because of a few measly emotions. I would rather be a fake instead of destroying my own creation." Eshwar stated.

An abrupt thought flashed in her mind: "But you killed the humans you created?" Isha inquired.

"Isha, it was not the humans that protected me when I was by myself." Eshwar said with a bitter smile.

"That was a world I created together with my mother, father, and little sister; why would I ever want to destroy such a world? While just a few memories of my people, whose faces I don't remember, are enough for me to want to protect them, that was why I fought and killed the villains I created with my own hands, because they were a threat to the world, not because they were a threat to humans." Eshwar spoke with a voice dyed in melancholy.

"And if you want to talk about humans, then I have no emotions left for humans; it seemed to have slipped your mind due to our heavy conversation. I'm a selfish man, Isha. There are only me and mine. I have been through many things, and you have seen and heard about them. In any of those, were there any moments of mention where humans empathised with me? Let alone empathy, I hadn't even received sympathy until I began to detest myself for even expecting such a feeling from others. I always say this whenever a matter comes up about this rose: regression. Regression carves bad luck onto your soul, which kills your loved ones and those you wish to protect right in front of your eyes. And I'm a literal walking, taking bad luck, but the difference I could and have made with my own strength is that I'm now able to fight against greater crises that may try to devour me, my loved ones, and those I wish to protect." Eshwar answered her question.

"...." Isha began to ponder over everything Eshwar had just stated with mixed emotions raging in her.

But, forgiveness was not one of them.

It would have been a different matter if she knew about it, but learning about it only due to a forced situation wouldn't ever be enough for her to regain her trust in him, which is absolutely understandable since no matter what, Eshwar was in the wrong.

"I'm sorry. I know it may be hard for you to forgive me, as it is hard for me to gain back your trust, which I have lost. I'll do my best, so please do your best to understand and forgive me. Again, I'm sorry, so please don't push me away."

"..... Alright."