Chapter 114: Forced pain

As Cassandra, Dallas, and Daniel approached, smiles spreading across their faces, Cassian was still catching his breath, heavy with sweat and fatigue. His arms trembled from the effort, but he managed to offer Cassandra a weak yet happy smile, even as he glanced at the system notification that had popped up, which he ignored as it was just about him killing the one star monster.Cassandra stepped closer, her praise ringing clear. "That was a great fight," she said, her tone encouraging. "I understand why you didn't want to dodge, but don't think of it as a cowardly move. Cowards are easy to kill, but those who can dodge? They're a different story."

"I wasn't dodging because I see it as cowardice; I just wanted to perfect some of my moves," Cassian replied, wiping the blood off his sword. There wasn't much on the surface, thanks to how smooth and shiny it was.

"Well, just keep in mind someone's waiting. I was so bored watching you move around without doing anything—at least land some attacks!" Dallas said, annoyance creeping into her voice as she gestured to the slain boar, its large slice nearly severing its body and soaking the ground in blood. "That aside, this is your first kill, right? You should take a souvenir."

"I should?" Cassian asked with a grin, though it sounded more like a question. He bent down to grab a piece of bone with a sharp edge, cleaning it off before tucking it into his pocket. "What would I have taken if my first kill had been a human?" he joked.

But no one seemed to think he was joking. Cassandra looked serious as she said, "You still should have taken a souvenir and still do if you ever kill someone. Cause It's important to keep something of theirs to remind you who you killed and why." Searᴄh the NôᴠelFirё.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Cassian stared at her, shocked, trying to determine if she was just messing with him. He glanced over at Dallas, who was rubbing a leather band in her hand with a strangely nostalgic expression. Daniel was also looking at a ring he held, mirroring that same sentiment, which only added to Cassian's shock. "Did you all kill someone?"

"More than one," Dallas replied, her tone matter-of-fact. "But you only take a souvenir from one. It's not a game or a hobby; it's a reminder of why you killed that person. If it was for honor or because they were evil, that's one thing. But if it was a mistake, that's fine too as just to make sure you never forget your mistakes."

Cassandra noticed Cassian's shock morphing into something else as Dallas talked about killing and taking souvenirs, which was understandable for a child his age who had never taken a life. Looking at him, she asked, "Cassian, you want to become a Circle Warrior, right?"

Cassian nodded, unsure why she was asking. "May I know the reason?"

That was a tough question for him. He had plenty of reasons swirling in his mind—most of them tied to revenge for the torture inflicted on him by three people. Recently, he just wanted to be strong enough to avoid any more suffering, but he didn't think that was a good enough reason. After hesitating for a moment, he said, "To get strong."

"That alone is a good enough reason, but why do you want to get strong?" Cassandra asked, her curiosity matched by Dallas and Daniel's attentive gazes.

Cassian fell deep in thought. The main reason he wanted to grow strong was to escape pain—the physical suffering he had endured and any pain forced upon him. He wanted to be free from it and to protect himself from others who might try to inflict it. After a few seconds, he replied, "To live free of forced pain."

He knew that pain itself wasn't a bad thing that's why he said forced pain. Pain taught people what it meant to suffer and helped them recognize what brings joy. Love brings happiness, but when it fades, pain often follows. Even if it's pain, it teaches a person how to love. Cassian just didn't want to be forced to feel pain; he would accept the pain that came from love because embracing love was the same as accepting pain.

Cassandra seemed to understand, nodding as she said, "Forced pain—that's a good way to put it. It means you don't want to inflict pain on someone else either. Nobody wants to experience pain against their will. But killing someone isn't just about forcing pain; people kill for reasons, and those reasons can be good or bad. The difference lies in whether those reasons are justifiable. My first time killing a human was because he tried to take Lumine by force, so I killed him. So whenever you take a life, make sure it's for a good reason, not for something trivial like honor—and never for enjoyment." She shot a pointed glance at Dallas when she mentioned "honor."

Watching Cassian contemplate her words, she continued, "As warriors, we can't shy away from killing. It could be a monster or even a human. We grow stronger through these experiences—that's the truth. If you can become strong without killing, that's admirable. But remember, killing is what warriors are known for."

Cassian understood that killing someone meant inflicting pain on them, too. Yes, there were evil people who deserved to be killed—like his torturers. Yet, he was still shocked by what he had done to the boar monster. It had been minding its own business before Cassandra had killed its family, and when it tried to take revenge, Cassian had brutally taken its life.

While the act had made him stronger, it also forced him to confront a harsh truth: he was the villain in this situation. The kill he had made was for a selfish reason—to grow stronger—which inherently felt wrong to him.

'Isn't this an evil reason too?' he questioned himself.

Daniel noticed Cassian's internal struggle and interjected, "Let the boy rest, detectives. He just got back from a fight—look at his hands; they're still trembling." His words snapped Cassian out of his thoughts.

Cassandra's expression shifted from serious to worried as she turned to Cassian. "Yeah, we didn't even ask—are you hurt anywhere, Cassian?"