Chapter 203 - UGLINESS

Time seems to stop, it was as though everything around them was painted and not real. This silence was not a bliss but eerie. The silence seeped into her blood like a poison, paralyzing her brain, her pupils became dilated and her body was visibly shaken. Making an effort to control the tremors of the body was useless, but anyways she tries to control it instinctively, only to be failed in the end.

Xiu Mei warily waits for the response of the man, waiting for him to say something after taking a look at her body, the wait was torture on her soul but she willed herself for the sake of the man she loves more than her life. Suddenly she felt something warm enveloping her body, puzzled she looked up only to find the man standing in front of her with closed eyes.

She stared at him with guilt, her eyes tear up as he barely felt her naked body with the tip of his fingers to determine her exact position before wrapping her like a cocoon in the warmth of a blanket.

Feng Jianyu opened his eyes after making sure she is properly covered. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes, expecting him to be disgusted by the ugliness of her body, but except warmth and love, she saw nothing. 'Had he not saw those ugly scars?'

Xiu Mei kept on looking into his eyes. He lifted her wrapped body and placed her gently on the bed. Without saying anything he went to the bathroom to get a towel soaked in cold water, sprayed a few drops of lavender EDC on it and climbed back on the bed to sit beside her. He gently wiped her face and neck. "Take out your hands from the blanket," he asked her and she obediently did and let him wipe her hands and shoulder.

"Jianyu…"

"Shh… Relax love" Caressing a gentle hand over her head, he hovered over her, keeping his weight off of her body. "Just answer one question. Is this the only reason why you are reluctant to marry me?"

Xiu Mei pursed her lips and nodded her head, there were tears in her eyes, "I have the ugliest body! You saw it. Right? There's another ugly scar at my back, starting from lowerback to the tail bone. Take a look at that too. Whatever your decision will be I'll accept it. I'm aware that being the owner of an ugly body, I can never woo you with it" She was about to unwrap the blanket when he stopped her.

"No need!" There was anger in his voice as he pushed her roughly back to the bed. "Why? Why Mei? Is this the value of my love in your eyes? In all the time you have known me, have you understood me only this much? Do you think I only care about your body and nothing else?"

"Jianyu…"

"Shut up! I'm not done yet" she heard him rose his voice causing her to jump in fear. "Tell me if I decide to go away from your life, can you be at peace living away from me? Will you be a happy person for the rest of your life? Because I surely know that living without you is not an option for me" He mercilessly ignored her whimpers and tears, "How dare you to judge my love on the scale of physical beauty? Who do you take me for, dammit? Some animal… No, even animals love their partners irrespective of their body. But in your eyes, I'm even worse than an animal. Right?"

Xiu Mei looked at him with horrified eyes, shaking her head vehemently, "No… None of this is true. You know I didn't mean any of that."

"So, tell me what exactly you mean by letting me show your naked body. You obviously thought that I'll be disgusted by those scars. Right? I'll change my mind of marrying you. Right? Did you take me for those kind men for whom a woman's body is merely a way to solve their physical needs? Did you think I'm the man who only judges the beauty of a woman by her body?"

"No…! No! No!" She covered her face with palms and repeated the answer and he forcefully pulls them away.

"Thank god you still have a little brain left in your head! Now tell me, what if these scars were on my body? Will you not love me? Or if in future something happens to my body, then will you walk out of my life? Will you leave me alone?" He asked her trapping her in his eyes.

"No! Never! No matter what, I will always cling on to you…" Jianyu felt pleased with her reply but didn't let it show on his face. He has to teach her a lesson today for coming up with something like this.

"Then why can't you expect the same thing from me? Does this mean I'm still lacking behind in winning over your trust? Thanks, Mei. Thank you for letting me know how incapable I am!" Jianyu self-mocked himself.

She turned her head to the side, escaping the pull of his captivating eyes with great difficulty. "Don't complicate the matter, Jianyu… I just don't want you to feel cheated. Of course, we love each other, but what if you'd have seen this on our first night? I can't even imagine the shock you might have felt. I have seen you admiring my beauty many times, that's why I wanted to show you the real ugliness of Xiu Mei hidden behind the layers of clothes"

Feng Jianyu sighed and closed his eyes for a second. He lay down beside her and pushed her head into the crook of his neck, stroking her back he talked to her gently, "Mei, I'm clearing this once and for all. Firstly stop calling your body ugly, because indirectly you are calling my body ugly. Secondly, seven years back I got attracted to your intelligence but falls in love with your pure and innocent soul and not your body. Thirdly, the only thing that matters to me most is whether you love me or not, and just now you confessed that you love me. Right?"

"Yes… I love you… But, my body…" Before she could say anything more he snapped at her and pushed her away from his arms, "Enough of your nonsense. Go and sleep. You really need a rest to get your brain fixed. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll hurt me more!" He sat up straight and climbed down from the bed to go outside, leaving her alone in the room.

Xiu Mei watched sadly as he threw his coat on to the floor in anger. And she hated to see him like this. She wanted to run towards him and hide herself again in his arms. Without thinking much she did what she wanted to, even forgetting that she is naked at the moment. She hurriedly climbed out of the bed before he could go outside, and wrapped her arms around him. The moment she collided into his body, Jianyu's body stiffened.

"Don't leave me alone. I'm sorry I hurt you."