Chapter 19 - I just wanted to look

When Akito saw such a lonely look plastered on the girl's face, he wanted to reach out and do something to get rid of it. But, when he caught a brief glimpse of his own expression in the mirror. He knew better than to try.

.....

A few minutes later, their plate of food arrived. It comprised various meat dishes. Akito watched as the usually indifferent expression on the girl's face change. She cut up the meat with the knives and forks so skillfully. Akito watched the girl amused, most people would go for the chopsticks ... While foreign utensils have been introduced and are placed on tables in every restaurant now, not many people would volunteer to use it.

"Ah, it would be so much better if we could roast the meat."

"Hmm? You want to roast it?"

Setsura nodded.

How peculiar, what kind of person would roast meat? Then again, she seems to have eaten it often. In the year 1875, during the fifth year of the current Meiji Emperor, he broke the 1,200 years of ban regarding meat. Since the emperor ate meat on his own accord, people simply assumed that the 'ban' was lifted and follow his example. Since then, people have been eating meat in various ways. He heard of people eating the meat particularly hot, but not like this.

Curious about what she was planning, Akito called out to a nearby waiter and gave them instructions. "Bring a small grill here from the kitchen," the waiter too seemed puzzled but followed his instructions.

After a few minutes, the waiter came back and placed it on the table, "Will this do?"

Setsura's eyes sparkled as she started to put some meat on the small grill. A massive sizzling sound is heard, earning everybody's attention. However, Setsura didn't pay any attention to it. Akito saw how focused she was on grilling the meat. It amused him seeing her act in this manner. She's acting like a little girl. Akito would never have thought that she would have this type of side to her. At least if she had it, he didn't think she would show it to him. Ever since he first met her, she's always had her guard up and remained suspicious of him.

"Ouch!" Setsura yelped. He snapped out of his thoughts and saw that the girl's hands were slowly turning red.

"So careless, shall I call a doctor?"

"This is nothing."

What a stubborn reply, Akito examined the burned marks in her hands. Indeed, it doesn't look that severe. He quickly made his mind up and bent down. He blew on her hand, startling her.

"W—what are you doing? I'm fine," Setsura stuttered, as she pulled her hand back.

Akito had to admit that the girl's rare fl.u.s.tered appearance surprised him. He learned that the girl had a fear of men, so for a split second, he was worried that he scared her. But when he saw her hand burned like that, it was just natural instinct for him to come up with that solution. It was only a few seconds later when he felt her hands tense up and saw her fl.u.s.tered face.

"I apologize, I know you have a fear towards men, I shouldn't have—," Akito paused in mid-sentence when he saw the expression on the girls face more closely. The girl wasn't trembling in fear like he initially thought. Her hands became tense, she stuttered and turned red because she's embarrassed, not afraid. Akito blinked puzzled, 'This is amusing,' instead of trying to embrace her further like he usually would, he turned to the meat she was roasting.

After watching her for a short while, Akito understood what she was doing. So he simply copied her actions.

"Ah, wait I can..."

"It's fine, I can do it," Akito nodded, he spotted the earlier waiter. "Hey you, get her an ice pack," though the injury is minor... Akito did not want to take any risks, her hands are too beautiful to get damaged.

After a few minutes passed eventually, the meat had turned into a golden brown color. Setsura instructed him when to stop, so he did as she said. She picked up the fork and extended it towards him, "Here, please try it."

Akito looked at the sizzling barbecue meat on the fork, 'the oil looks like it's leaking, is that okay to eat?' Akito wondered. Still, if this girl wanted to poison him, she could have done so a long time ago. He should trust her. Akito bends down and takes a bite. A delicious sensation filled his mouth, and he slowly started to chew more and more.

Setsura was looking at him with an expression filled with expectations, and he chuckles. 'She actually has an adorable side to her,' Akito thought. "It was delicious," he reached over and lightly ran his hands through her hair, "A good suggestion from you."

Setsura averted her gaze, "Don't act so high and mighty," she muttered. But Akito could see the expression on her face; she really needs to learn to be more honest with herself.

The two of them ate in silence, once in a while they'd speak. But the majority of the time Setsura was too focused on wolfing down the meat at incredible speed. Is she that hungry?

While he understood that the girl had been eating nothing but light food these days, that is no longer the speed of a human. Still, how many years have passed since he last had a meal like this with another person? How many years have passed since he saw somebody enjoy food this much?

Akito didn't know the exact number of years. But, he knew the last person he had a meal in a restaurant was his late wife. Now that he thought about it, she liked meat too didn't she? Akito tried to evade thinking about it, but is it just a coincidence?

The similarities between his late wife and this girl, it's simply too much. He wonders if it's possible for there to be two completely unrelated people to have such similarities.

"You stopped eating, is it bad?"

"No," Akito smiled, "Just lost in thought."

Setsura said nothing and Akito returned to eating when he felt somebody stare at him. People have been staring at him all evening, so one or two more won't make much of a difference. However, this one was different; the culprit is the girl in front of him.

"You just gonna stare, Setsura?" Akito asked. He didn't know why, but he suddenly felt uncomfortable being stared at. How stupid, he didn't care when other people looked at him. So, why is he so bothered by her looking? These days it feels like he is continuously filled with contradictions. No, Akito shook his head. Don't think about it too deeply.

"Oh, it's nothing," Setsura said with an indifferent look on her face. It bothered him slightly how she just abruptly ended the conversation. Her gaze flickered on to the window, and for a split second, he thought that was the end of it until he saw her look over at him again.

"I don't mind being stared at by such a pretty lady. But could you tell me the reason why?"

However, Setsura chose to remain silent, his sweat fell. This woman isn't very good at talking.

-----

Setsura didn't mean to act so boldly, and she knew if she kept staring at him, he would surely misunderstand. But Setsura wanted to make sure if what she saw earlier wasn't a lie. Setsura turned back to Akito and saw what she couldn't see before, what he had been hiding this entire time. The wall finally collapsed, and she could see what she wanted.

Sadness, loneliness, longing. 'Ah, this person is the same,' the same as who? In her time she knew somebody like this, somebody who is always smiling.

Somebody who is hiding behind such a deep wall of sadness. The more Setsura looked at him, the more she felt his pain. It doesn't suit him.

While his real smile is rare to come across, Akito has showed her his genuine smile before.

It's warm and while he's always flirting with her and acting like an idiot. It was such an innocent and carefree smile. She wants to see him smile like that all the time. Setsura got closer and closer, so she could look more. If she looked closely, perhaps she could find the cause?

----

Getting stared at by a pretty girl, anybody regular guy would like it. However, Akito felt uncomfortable. It was like the girl was trying to search for something, something he purposely kept hidden away. Akito snapped out of his daze and noticed how close Setsura was to his face. She was so close to him that their noses and foreheads brushed against each other.

'What type of crazy situation is this?' Akito thought. Sure she had been staring at him for the last few minutes. But Akito didn't think she would overstep the boundaries and get close like this. She's so close, close enough that he could touch her.

Heck, he could even swoop down for a kiss. But if he did that, then he would destroy their current relationship. Akito liked having her around too, so he doesn't want to destroy that by scaring her away. So, Akito allows her to do whatever it was she was planning. He remained utterly still, as Setsura kept looking at him.

This is the first time somebody has caught him of guard, he didn't know how to react. After a few minutes had passed by, Setsura eventually pulled away. She murmured something quietly before turning back to the window.

"So, err," Akito broke the silence, "What was that all about?" He could have just ignored it and continued eating. But his curiosity was killing him.

"I just wanted to look," Setsura commented, still looking outside. The girl was no longer eating and seemed to be playing around with her food.

Look? Look at his face? So, exactly what did she get from staring at his face for so long, from such a close distance?