Chapter 110 - Not good enough

A famous english writer for young teenage romance novels once wrote "Don't think or judge, just listen." It was those words that made her turn away from her own shallow thoughts, and did just that. She just listened, she emptied her mind out and just listened. However, by following that advice she quickly added to her own shortcomings.  The more she listened, the more she discovered peoples opinions of her. She realized how this entire time she had failed. She succeeded in nothing, not even the things she worked hard in. At the start, Setsura simply dismissed it as her own negative thoughts again. You learn a lot when you empty your mind out and just listen. But in doing so, you discover the negative and not only the positive.

Her own blood, sweat and tears did not matter. No matter what she did, in the eyes of others it was not good enough.  Working endlessly, it was never enough. The moment she succeeded in something, it would be dismissed as not being good enough.  Setsura recalled the bitter feelings and emotions she had when she first learned of this. It was painful for her, but eventually even that suffocating feeling in her chest became numb. Even if she were to work on her shortcomings and improve. It would not matter.

The more she listened, the more she understood. By listening, she understood that people simply judged without knowing. Even those who know would end up leaving once they get tired. So, why does she still try hard? The answer to that is fairly simple and dull too. Its because underneath all these layers of pain, there exists a small bud of hope. Hope for change? Hope for those opinions to change? No, she has long become numb to those feelings.  She did not hope for that at all, what she wanted...was something else.

Acceptance and change, those were the two things that were on the furthest end of her mind. Because Setsura understood that such change, such a conclusion was impossible. Shakespeare once said that everything happens for a reason. How many times did she say this to Akito, since she snapped out of her daze?

Then, even something as illogical as her current situation can be explained too. After she parted ways with sir Long, Setsura became aware that somebody was following her. So, it was natural for her to escape. However, her gaze darted towards the wound on her shoulder. Who would have thought that she would end up wounded. Setsura did not think that it would take long. Seeing sir Long of, that is why she did not bring anything with her.  But, it seems like that was a grave mistake of hers.

Just listen.

Setsura closed her eyes, and emptied her mind. Doing this in such a situation is risky since somebody could sneak up on her. However, it was better than nothing.. One, two… three.. There is more than one person, there seems to be a group but there is no more than ten people. If it were four or five people, she would be fine. But ten? Realistically with her current skill that was five too many. As Setsura racked her head on her next action, she hears the sound of a gunshot.

Ah..? Cautiously, Setsura made her way out of her hiding spot. The sight she saw before her shocked her. A pile of bodies on top of each other, all of them were wounded terribly. Nine men, the last one was still facing of with the person who harmed them. That person was somebody she knew all too well. Bright curly short brown hair, wearing western clothing.

V--Victor? Sure enough, it was Victor. She already saw him shoot with a gun before but this surprised her. It seems like all the men she has met in this era, change when they have a gun in their hands. It gave her a strange feeling.

"Now, tell me who told you to chase her," Victor's voice was deadly.

The man in question however didn't answer. Even though Victor had the gun directly at his forehead, the person stopped shaking. Setsura noticed it before Victor did. 

On the man's hands was a small switch. Setsura had to look away and cover her ears. She knew Victor would be able to evade the explosion. In a few seconds, a large boom sound filled the space. Setsura waited until the smoke vanished, before turning back to the sight.

"Victor?" Setsura awkwardly called out. Sure enough Victor evaded the bomb.

The cold gaze from Victor's face vanished. "There you are Setsura-chan, good morning."

"Uh," Setsura looked at him dumbfounded and nodded. "Good morning."

Her gaze flickered onto the person on the ground from moments ago. Since he put a bomb on himself, the remains were awful. What was left of his body were just a disfigured face, half an arm and a leg. Victor bent down and sighed, "How annoying, this makes it the 7th time."

"7th?"

"Whenever we find a suspect, they always end up killing themselves. This is the seventh case already."

"I see," she bent down and examined the body of the victim again. It felt like she would get some clues if she looked up close.

Victor smiled, "Not scared?"

"There is no need. All lives end one day, it's just a matter of how and when."

Even though these people attacked her, Setsura raised her hands and prayed. 'May your soul rest in peace.' Maybe in their next lives, they can live as normal people.

"Setsura-chan, are you free now?" Victor's words caught her off guard, and she opened her eyes.

"Free?"

"Let's go to a cafe."

…

At XX Cafe

When they entered the cafe, the first thing that caught her attention was the heavy scent of coffee.

'Right, they had coffee in the Meiji era too.' While it was something Setsura studied. There were still many details that she didn't know. Coffee came about during the previous era. Then again tea exists, why wouldn't coffee? She shouldn't be so particular with the details. The waitress leads them to their table, and Setsura scanned the place.

Pale coloured walls, and black floors. Honey brown leather double seats opposite each other with a single table. It was the usual 'restaurant' set up, with both sides consisting of seats. The bar counter made of marble, white stools lined up. The place gave her a retro feel. 

Her gaze lingered on her surroundings for a moment longer. Before Setsura turned to the man who was ordering for them. 'Why did he take her here?' It surprised Setsura when he told her that he wanted to go to a cafe suddenly. Since he saved her life, Setsura didn't think about the details too much.

Still, she wanted to go home. 

After experiencing something frightening, she wanted to huddle up in bed and close her eyes. Then again, it's not like closing her eyes would make things different. If she closes her eyes and sleeps without Akito around. The consequences could be more dire. So, isn't it better to remain awake and feel miserable instead?

Setsura shook her head, she needs to calm down. It does nobody any good whenever she is like this. Besides, even if she isn't good enough. She shouldn't be completely useless. There must be a reason why Victor brought her here.

*UNEDITED*