Chapter 129 - Unease

One of the' first major art projects back in school, when she joined the art curriculum, was family. Everybody received a random topic. When she got that card, Setsura thought. 'How unlucky' because what can she do with such a theme?

From her earliest memories, all she could recall was a somewhat large, abandoned-looking house. Wearing ragged clothes - parents who wouldn't speak with each other. There were occasions where they spoke normally. During those times, she would learn a lot from them; she would laugh like an average child.

But those moments were fleeting, like a dream. Next second there would be fights again, the shouting would start — the slamming of doors, the silent threats in conversations. Setsura recalled staying calm and composed. But when the doors would slam, when things became more frightening, she would tremble in fear.

Setsura stared at the card for so long before she eventually traded with another person. Thankfully there was somebody else who didn't like their theme. The next theme she received was another one that hit her heart. 'Emotions.' But, unlike the family theme, at least it made her feel less uncomfortable. She created an explosive painting. It surprised even her. Normally she would focus on creating beautiful pictures. But that piece turned out to be an explosive one.

The other classes had the same themes too. Only one other person chose to do an explosive theme, and it was him.

Setsura woke up feeling very hot and uncomfortable.

A cool hand pressed on her forehead. Akito got up immediately, "You have a fever, stay here."

"Okay."

A fever, huh? Though she has had many emotional breakdowns since she came here. She hasn't properly gotten sick. Eventually, she feels a cold towel on her forehead. Akito returned with a bucket of water, which he placed on the side. Next, he brought his forehead towards hers.

"Your very sick. You should stay in bed."

"Akito."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you personally."

Ever since she arrived here, Setsura has been very careful when it came to her health. So, what went wrong? As Setsura debated about it in her head, she noticed Akito looking her up and down. "Akito? What's wrong?"

"Mm, nothing," Akito bent down and gently kissed her lips. "If I go out and buy some medicine. Would you be fine?"

"I don't want you to leave Akito."

Setsura knew she sounded childish, saying such words. But for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to let him go. Akito smiled and kissed her again, "Be good. I'll only be gone for two hours at most. If you need anything, call Jiro."

"Okay," she didn't want him to leave. But it seems like he wanted to fetch the medication himself. Akito nodded and left the room.

After what happened earlier, Setsura couldn't fall asleep. She was afraid that servant would come here again. What was with that threat for? Even if the girl had some kind of relationship with Akito before. Did she really have to go so far? It made little sense to her. Why did that girl want to kill her so badly?

Another person who wants her dead, huh? In the future, it was the same back there. Loads of people wanted her dead. With her background as a rich heiress, she supposes it was natural. But those people knew that she had no real power in her family. Back then, people chose such irrational reasons to hate on her.

One can't please everybody. Setsura always ignored them and focused on her daily life. But those people continued on harassing her.

Love.

Love seems like, well, it seems like it's for other people, people who feel things more strongly than she does, people who laugh and scream and yell and cry. Setsura wonders if the same thing that kept her mindset so clear is the same thing that keeps her from looking at the men she knows and thinking, Yes, him.

At the start, a very long long time ago. Long before she dated him, Setsura was curious about it. She's curious about the experience. Because of this curiosity, she went on a dating website. She browsed on random profiles who were compatible with hers and spoke to them.

However, whenever she got a message regarding meeting up. She would politely decline. There were a few occasions where she would accept, but back down at the last second.

Strangely enough, all the men who message her are well-educated and handsome. All of them were friendly, and that's exactly what she wants in a guy. A friendly person, somebody who can treat her kindly and with respect. But despite the numerous kind men in the world, none of them stored her heart. She wonders if something had changed from the moment she met and grabbed hold of his hand. From the moment she pointed her gun at another human being, and when she and that person had investigated side by side, guarding each other's backs, something in her had changed.

Her thoughts broke of when Akito reentered the room. "Ah? Akito, what's…" her sentence trailed off when Akito's lips met hers.

"I sent somebody to fetch it. I can't leave you here alone. I know you'll get lonely."

What an idiot, however, he's right. Akito only left for a few minutes, and all sorts of thoughts appeared in her head.

After a few minutes, Akito laid back down beside her. "Setsura, I'm very sorry about her. I didn't think she would do something stupid."

Setsura didn't reply immediately. Just now, she was very afraid, after all. It's not Akito's fault that some random woman got the wrong idea. But, none of this would have happened if he didn't sleep with her. Yet, that was something that happened long before she came here. Even if Akito committed a major fault. As long as it did not happen during their relationship, then she has no say in it.

Her entire body felt weaker than it had ever been. Though she wanted to forgive Akito right away. Her current condition made her feel bitter. The route cause is him.

Such despicable thoughts, Setsura wanted to erase it. Akito has done so much for her sake. Why is she going to blame him for something like this? The main reason why she is bothered is because she isn't the one. She isn't the one who helped lift him from the darkness. It was another woman before he held her; there was another woman. The thought made her feel nauseous.

One of the main reasons why Setsura refused his advances before was because of that. Because she thought he was a playboy. However, after she observed him for a while. Setsura realized that Akito had no other female by his side. For her, that was a good thing. If something did happen between them, she would be the only one in his eyes other than his previous partner.

What is with this sudden sense of insecurity? Anybody who heard her would comment on how selfish she is acting. This is a matter of the past, what happened with the servant girl and Akito. It's an event of the past, but why does she feel so uneasy?