Chapter 131 - A beast in disguise

The more Setsura thought about it, the more bothered and irritated she got. Akito did not tell her any of this. If she did not accidentally find out, would he have kept it from her? No Akito is different; this is just her petty jealousy. Such ugly and unwanted feelings, when was the last time she felt such things?

Jealousy is a beast in disguise.

Setsura recalled telling that to her friend, who worried about her boyfriend cheating. This was the same friend who told her to treasure her first time. Before they had that conversation and before she knew what happened. Setsura gave her that advice. Acting on your emotions will do nobody any good.

If you suspect your partner having an affair, you confront them calmly. You don't hide it.

After giving that advice, Setsura didn't hear about the matter for a long time. The next time they brought up the topic of love was that talk on first time. Judging from her friend's tone, all the unease vanished.

Her friend overcame it, overcame those ugly feelings of jealousy. There are those though who never get over it. Those who use such unpleasant feelings to act recklessly, use it to hurt the people they care about. If a person does not return your feelings, what do you do? Some accept it, they feel heartbroken, but eventually, they move on.

These people are the rational ones; they look at the bigger picture. While it is painful for them, they understand that they cannot continue acting this way. On the other hand, some act negatively; these are the ones who can't accept reality. No matter how much they comprehend it, they do not understand why it was not them. For them, that person is their whole world; they do not think they can love another person.

They are not wrong; perhaps it really is like that for them — case point in the childhood friend scenario. Getting turned down by a childhood friend is worse because you spent so many years with them. It's worse because the friendship is destroyed the moment you get turned down. They become a monster because of love, something that occurs far too often.

The general public always blames it on the third party, the other childhood friend. They do not think to blame the random person that emerged halfway. Why would they? That person is the one who, let's call the person, party A. Party A chose party C, while party B becomes the outsider. Even though party B has been around from the very start, they become the outsider party.

Once you become the outsider, that's it. Nobody will consider your feelings. Faced with no return, party B will become a monster for the sake of the one they love. Such pitiful people, they threw their lives away for a person who could not love them.

Setsura had been trying to keep her mind off of recent events by engaging in more work, but it wasn't working very well. Memories of all the suffering she had to put up with ever since she was a child crept back into her mind. Setsura couldn't help but feel extremely bitter about it.

Since arriving in the Meiji era, she recalled memories best kept away. Memories that would destroy her mental state if she weren't careful. Memories that would make her do something stupid.

Even though she remembers a lot of things now, that person's name and face are still very vague to her. She wonders why that is. Katakura told her that somebody was interfering with her memories. Those people are the ones who took it away from her. Is that the thing that is most dear to her?

Akito was a bit different than all the other guys who tried to court her.

Even with this new knowledge that he had another girl before. Her impression of him hasn't changed much.

Akito didn't hide his feelings. Other guys pretended to be cool, manly, strong - the list goes on. Others hide behind a mask. But Akito didn't, at least not in front of her. He would not put on a facade in front of her. Setsura lectured him about it once, and he told her.

'I'd rather give myself away completely and risk the pain that comes with it. Then not express my feelings properly.'

'Even if it means losing her?'

The smile Akito showed her then was painful, and Setsura understood. Akito didn't tell his wife everything like he did with her. Experiences shape a person; he probably learned this after he lost her.

How long will he be sincere for? Setsura asked this question in her head plenty of times. She thought he would slip up eventually. Clearly, before the incidence with his wife, he wasn't a completely sincere person.

But, all humans make mistakes, and they learn from it. Some never learn their lesson even after losing someone in the process. Akito is one of the few that learned and changed. So there is no need for her to get angry or feel this way. He did nothing wrong in the present day. These feelings do not make any sense to her. Feeling so bothered about what came before.

"Are you planning on breaking up with me?" Akito's words startled her.

"Huh? What?" Setsura mumbled.

"I know you're very upset about this thing. But it was only for a month, at most half a month. It didn't last long. For me, I couldn't bear it. Even if I tried to use her as a sub, I only thought of my wife in the end."

Half a month? So it wasn't long. Judging from Akito's tone, he didn't see her every day a week too.

"Setsura?"

"I'm thinking," she moved his hands away from her.

"So uh, are you mad or not?"

"I'm mad but," Setsura reached over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Not angry enough to stop this."

Akito looked delighted and started to kiss her neck. Feeling his hand on her thighs though, Setsura glared at him. "I'm sick."

"Sorry, my love, but you're so beautiful."

This idiot! Setsura moved his hand away, "I want to sleep." She groggily stood up and made her way over to where the futons were. However, no sooner did she walk over did she feel Akito wrap his arms and hug her from the back. "Akito..."

"Hey, I'm very sorry. Even though I said, I'd protect you, in the end, I couldn't do much for you."

"It's not the end yet," she murmured. "Unless you plan to end our relationship over this?"

"That's my line. Why don't we figure out a way to deal with her together? I don't want to hide anything from you. If you really don't want her around, I'll send her back to the main house."

"The main house?"

Akito nodded, "Mizuna originally worked there. She only transferred to my place after my wife left me."

'It must be his fathers doing.' Setsura didn't have any evidence for it. But it was her instincts as a woman. She only met and spoke to that man once, but Setsura could tell how much he cared for his son. That man would do whatever he could to make Akito happy while that girl acted terribly towards her. Setsura has observed her before. The girl called Mizuna is the only one who doesn't participate in the pointless gossip of the servants. The only one who does their work properly. Neat haircut and she dresses elegantly.

Indeed, Mizuna is a good girl. She isn't too pretty either, but she is not average. Any father would want the best for their son. Sir Shima probably didn't expect the two to engage in a s.e.x.u.a.l relationship, instead of a proper one. Now it made sense why he looked so guilty when he first greeted her. Mizuna was the one who greeted him first, too.

A deep sigh escaped Setsura's lips as she turned around and faced Akito. "Then, let's go see your father again. I want his blessings, we can discuss the matter about that woman then."

Akito looked at her dumbfounded before he laughs, "Blessings, for dating?" he said, amused.

"For marriage!"

This clearly caught him off guard since his eyes widened. Setsura's lips curve to a smile, "Dating with the intention of marriage. Do you have the courage to go back on your words?"