Chapter 136 - Enchanted Masquerade Night Part 5

A Setsura that has to depend on the people around her, is pathetic

"Besides your not the only one, with the way I am now, I can't replace that guy in your heart. I've been saying stuff like stealing you away from him. But a guy who's messed up and doing drugs isn't any better for you. The person I am right now can't sacrifice so much for you anymore."

'Doing drugs.' Setsura suspected it, but this was the first time she heard Akito admit it. So things like this happen in the Meiji era too. He's a member of the police force, so if he got found out, won't he get in trouble?

"Akito?"

"Why is it like this? I wonder, when did I become such a cruel person?"

When she saw him hunched over his hand placed on his head. Setsura swallowed and held back her tears. He's in pain, he's in so much pain. It's not just her. Although he isn't getting any sort of attack like her, he's losing himself in those drugs in order to make himself forget. He's suffering so much. Setsura hold of his hands.

"You're not cruel. The longer we live, the more burdens we will have to carry. You can't just do as you like. That's why we need someone to share the burden with, in order to continue walking down this path."

Akito isn't cruel at all.

Neither is society. It's nobody's fault, burdens, and these painful feelings. All of these emotions emerge overtime. It happens naturally, it happens for a reason.

"Right now, the only one I could consider sharing this burden with is you," Akito murmurs.

He's hurt. It's because of her, she should never have left him. In the back of her mind, she was always thinking that. Thinking that she should not have let go of those hands that day. Even though her chest is still hurting due to the attack.

Even though she is wearing this bracelet that symbolizes the love she and Akito share. Even though she is still hurting so much inside. The one who is going through a hard time right now is him. She wants to help him.

Setsura pulls him into her arms and he buries his head in her chest as she gently caressed his hair, "Setsura."

"Good boy. You're really like a kid."

"Right back at you. But, I'm comfortable like this. When I'm with you Setsura I'm at ease."

' I wonder why it is that whenever I'm together with you all my problems vanish.'

'Beside you is the warmest place.'

Setsura closed her eyes and briefly opened them, "Me too."

"If your going to lie, do a better job next time."

"Do you want to be consoled or not?"

"Your tongues sharp as ever. That's expected from you."

As expected, everybody accepts everything.

Just like her weak self, everyone accepts it and helps her. She really is surrounded by a bunch of strange guys, back then and even now.

"I, love you. But I can't live in a world without that person. Like this I'm just being selfish aren't I?"

"Yeah, that is pretty selfish of you. But didn't you just say it about shouldering burdens. This is your burden isn't it Setsura? The burden of loving others."

For someone like her who was not supposed to experience happiness, let alone love. Shouldering such a burden in regards to it really does seem strange.

"I can only express what I'm thinking when I'm working. Every time I work, my feelings come pouring out. I like to work but if every time I work those painful feelings pour out. Then hasn't working become a burden too?

Setsura wanted to be wrapped in those warm arms again, those arms that always made her feel so very safe. But she can't. Right now she can't see him, all she has is her current work. If it were to be taken from her then she would surely break down.

"Even if you are a time traveller. You're also everyone's friend. That's why what you just told me now tell the others also. Even if Chauncey is stingy and the others ones a weirdo, they will listen to you."

"Didn't you want to hold a monopoly of me?

At that comment, Akito laughs, "True. But . . . ." his gaze softened, "I didn't agree to date you, only to have you feel lost and confused."

"I have nothing."

Setsura held herself back from saying, 'I have nothing, why do you still want me?"

Akito shook his head and raised his head up from her chest, as he held her hands up and firmly clasped them with his own. "You have us. Setsura, you'll be alright. Were with you now."

She wonders if Akito knows how much those words mean to her. He is most likely saying it without knowing though. "You really are like a child. But," her cheeks turned slightly red as she smiles. "Thank you."

Akito and her, their love story is peculiar. Maybe it would be better if she described it as a life lesson? Even though they circled each other for awhile with all that teasing and kisses. To think they got together after experiencing that frightening situation.

Even now she can remember it quite clearly, the kiss that came so suddenly after such a joke. It was so sudden that she forgot to close her eyes.

She seriously thought that she wouldn't mind dying then. Because Setsura could no longer suppress the feelings she had for him. She wanted him so badly, and yet Setsura didn't want to enter a relationship with him. Since she isn't single, she has somebody. But did that really count? Forget her memories, she couldn't even remember his name. Every single time she tried, she would get severe headaches.

Later on when Katakura came by, Setsura discussed this matter with him. He told her not to worry about the formalities, and go with what her heart decides.

She remembered somebody telling her that relationsh.i.p.s isn't good in the police industry. When people found out she was dating that person. Many tried to discourage her. However, Setsura didn't listen to them. It is the same with Akito. There are many who disapprove of her relationship with him. Still, Akito and that person gave her the desire to live.

After what happened when she was a child. Setsura closed her heart of completely. But that person extended his hand out time and time again. His family members treated her with such warmth and kindness too.

When she first arrived in the Meiji era, Akito extended his hand out even if she were a stranger. The servants did not treat her well. But nobody tried to physically harm her. Because of Akito she was able to live here. At the start, Setsura thought her current situation was very bad. No memories, a different era..

If she lost her memories but was still in her era. Things could still be fixed. Or would it? The people who disliked her over there could take advantage and exploit her weakness. Over here, people were about to do the same. But at least they would be people without a grudge against her.

Her thoughts broke off when Akito grabbed hold of her hand.

"Setsura. Shall we go? "

"Yeah, it's about time."

This person has given her so many things, but she has never done anything for him. Whenever she falls in love it feels as though she's been on the receiving end - the only one who is able to obtain anything. Whether it was about others. That's why, even if it's just a little bit. Towards the person she loves so very deeply right now. Please let her convey it, such strong feelings no matter how painful it is.

*UNEDITED*