Chapter 139 - Falling into a routine

Why doubt him? How much has Akito done for her since she came here? He has done so much for her. Would she really doubt him because of something in the past? The reason why her thoughts is this clouded is because she is remembering more. Setsura recalls a conversation that guys will get tired of girls who don't have good technique. Akito always shows whatever he is feeling on his face. So if there were a problem, then she would notice it right away, wouldn't she? However, whenever they do that, she always feels dizzy due to the intensity and pleasure. She doesn't get a good look at his face.

Setsura frantically shook her head, 'Is it the time to think about such things?' Besides, the main thing reason why she is worried about her relationship with Akito is the way he looks at her. Occasionally Akito looks at her with eyes like bloodless glass beads. They make her uneasy, those eyes.

She does not know Akito well enough.

Some people know Akito better than her, like that servant girl. There are times where he is kind, times where he is cold and distant from her. He's a person with so many different expressions. That's normal, isn't it? We all have many different faces; we don't show all of them to every person we associate with. People show different faces at different times; it depends on the circ.u.mnstances or the people they are with.

...

"You seemed out of it since earlier. Did I do something to make you mad again?"

The two of them had returned to the inn, and Setsura sat cross-legged on the bed as she hugged a pillow. Setsura wanted to rest, but her gaze fell on Akito, who finished taking a bath. She wanted to ask him about that servant girl again. Setsura saw her there in the building. He told her he was late meeting her because of the flower, but... She slapped her cheeks, 'These negative thoughts again.'

"Who says I'm mad?" Setsura murmured. "I don't feel well, and you spun me around so many times."

"If we didn't dance and just left, it would be more suspicious."

'Did he also dance with that girl?'

Ahhh, it's no good.

Whenever she sees Akito's face, she feels so many contradicting emotions. She wants to hit him and tell him to stop leading her on, to stop playing with her. But these contradicting emotions and her feelings of love, all of it comes from the same place.

Akito isn't as kind as she thought initially. Now they are dating one another, Setsura has learned more about him that she didn't know before. He plays around with people's feelings and causes great discomfort and pain. Unlike the relationship she had with that guy, the one with Akito is more suffocating. She feels like she is going to fall apart and break into a thousand pieces.

But still, these types of feelings may be more real than the emotions she has for that guy. This feels more genuine? With that person, she doesn't recall fighting with him. Fights are a sign of a healthy relationship. But they never fought, not when once since they first started dating. It was strange in more ways than one.

Since she started dating him, she's fallen into a routine. Cooking, taking walks, going to work, and meeting him for lunch and waking up in his arms. Setsura glanced over at Akito, who was smoking by the window. "Aren't you going to come over?"

"I was waiting for you to make a move."

Setsura sighed, 'Why does she have to?' Or maybe he likes bolder girls? These thoughts are so petty and annoying. She hates it, acting this way. But what else can she do? She is new to this kind of relationship.

Akito put his cigarette away and walked over. He cupped her cheeks, "You have been sulking this entire time. I already told you there is nothing between her and me."

"I'm sorry Akito, I'm not used to this. Having somebody else in the picture. It doesn't help how cold and distance you get from me," she murmurs. "I'm not saying you have to treat me as a Princess constantly, but you could at least..." her sentence fell short when she felt Akito embrace her.

"Sorry, Setsura, your right. There are things I haven't told you, yes I was speaking with her before I met with you. Yes, it's more complicated than what I told you originally. But before we talk about it, let's talk for a bit. The reason why I'm so cautious about you is because I didn't want to hurt you. When I realized it was your first time, I was very happy. It made me feel like I won a battle of love and desire."

"Battle?"

Akito laughed, "Well, I've been jealous of your boyfriend. So it was a bit of a shock to me, I thought for sure that you two would have done it already. So imagine how surprised I was when you told me no such thing has happened between you two?"

"Is it that important?" Setsura asked. "If I didn't let you touch me, would you have resented me?"

"No, it wouldn't have made a difference."

That's right, Akito didn't touch his wife before because of her age. Even then, the two had a loving relationship. Well, before that incidence happened. "What if your family pressure me to bear a child?"

"I won't let them."

"How about if they ask that girl to--" her sentence fell short when Akito traced her lips with his thumbs. Setsura immediately understood this question was stupid. All of the questions she has asked till now were stupid. It's not like her to be so illogical, but then again, this is normal, isn't it? Girls act stupid when they are in front of the ones they love. So, this is how it feels to become an idiot.

She only vaguely knows about the relationship between men and women. It was that guy who made the first move, even with the engagement. She couldn't decide herself.

"Akito?" Setsura noted that the look in his eyes had changed.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you to see a specialist, and we will work on getting you better."

"Yes."

Setsura wrapped her arms around him, "I'm cold, Akito."

"Do you have a solution?"

"I do," she mumbled.