Chapter 185 - Poison Ivy Part 10

*UNEDITED*

An awkward silence filled the air, but Chauncey immediately broke it. He ran his hands through his blue hair. A troubled look appeared on his face. "Do you think I see other women, because I want to?"

Natasha blinked, puzzled at his words. What does he mean by that? Isn't he a player? While Natasha noticed he wasn't like the average players. She knew how many women he slept around with. Before she started to gain any feelings for him, it didn't bother her that much. She would silently observe whenever he went to speak to those woken. However now? Now things are different. She can't say for sure that she likes him.

"I don't want to hear your excuses."

"So, your going to dismiss me completely? You won't even let me explain anything?"

Why does she have to hear him out anyway? "You already have somebody you love," Natasha mumbled. It pained her to say those words. But, she knew she had to say it. "Instead of focusing on me, you should turn your attention there."

"That girl will not leave Akito."

"How are you so sure?"

"You ask me how, isn't it obvious?

Obvious? Natasha thought back to what she saw a few days back. 'That was the first time she saw Akito wear such a troubled look.' Akito's new worried expression, his warm smile when Setsura grabbed hold of his hands. All of these things we're very new to her. Back then, the feelings she had for Akito were due to her loneliness. It was a fleeting crush, and that's why it didn't matter to her. It didn't matter that he fell in love with somebody else. However, it was different for Chauncey.

Chauncey pulled her into his arms startling her. 

His sudden action startled her, for a moment Natasha didn't know how to react. What is he doing? She has never received such a big shock in her entire life before.

"What are you doing? Let me go."

"Is it that difficult? I accepted you, not because of some silly engagement. I thought if I could bring myself to love another person it would be you."

"You're contradicting yourself. You..."

"Why is it so difficult for you to believe? Natasha, you know I'm not a bad person."

She understands that better than anybody. She knew that since they were children. When she first came here, Chauncey is one of the people who helped her out. His arms are so warm, he's thinner than most guys. But, even if he is like this. Natasha knew he worked out a lot, and worked on his physical strength. So, this is how it feels for him to hold her. Ever since they were kids, Natasha has wanted to feel his warmth like this. 

Right now, she is learning a different side of Chauncey. 'This warmth, yes..it's the same as back then.' But, he fell in love with somebody else. How many times has this happened now? Twice, however that's because she is slow to realize her heart. Back then with Izu, and even Mori. None of them mattered to her, the one she always liked was Chauncey. However, it's far too late to realize this. 

Akito can't let Setsura go, and Setsura won't let Akito go. Chauncey is the same as those two. 

Natasha drew back from him, "Chauncey," Natasha mumbled. "Please give me some time. I have other things to settle."

"If, I wait for you. Can you guarantee?" Chauncey questioned.

She shook her head, "I can't, it's up to you whether you want to take the risk. If you can't, then I guess we aren't meant to be."

.....

When Natasha returned Mori was fast asleep on the couch. A deep sigh escaped her lips when she saw the amount of bottles by the ground on the couch. What a hopeless guy, did he really think she would just leave? Then again, she only came back to fetch her belongings. The things she has to settle, Mori is apart of it. But, not everything. 

"Natasha?" Mori mumbled.

"Mm, I came back," she quickly joined him on the couch. 

Mori looked at her puzzled and then nodded. He wrapped his arms around her waist, "Alright, go to sleep."

"Huh? But.."

"You look tired. It must be hard, huh? The young miss of the mafia society."

What's with that tone of his? "Do you like me, Mori?"

"What are you talking about?"

Natasha laughs, "I see."

It's better for her to stay by a person who does not harbour any feelings for her. Or at least, somebody who doesn't show their true colours in front of her. Natasha glanced over and noted that Mori fell asleep again. Truly, it's not like she has anybody she actually has somebody she cares for. Right now, it's difficult to cope with her own emotions, let alone another person.

Sometimes when she closes her eyes, or has time to ponder on her thoughts. Natasha recalls those times.

_

XX Guardian Realm

"What a troublesome woman. First you don't kill me when you had me cornered, and then you locked me up here. Tell me, what do you hope from keeping me alive? I am already half dead."

Yes this man is Makoto, her supposedly deceased friend. At that time she chased after him; and indeed he was already being consumed by the darkness. So she slashed at his right eye in hopes of saving him, she cut that darkness and contained the other box in a sphere. She told everyone he was dead, that she ended it. But in actual reality, she kept him here. This entire time she has refrained herself from visiting too much, not wanting to draw attention to herself. But because the darkness that possess him is dangerous.

"Don't talk like that. I, I will save you." Natasha exclaimed. She will save him; and then . . then they could live together properly again. Since part of her heart still belongs to this man.

"You are still prone to crying easily. I wonder why," Makoto extends his hands out,  "I have grown accustomed to seeing from one eye. But even so, there's still some things I cannot see unless I am close. So will you not get closer to me Natasha?"

Natasha puts the bag down and walks over, immediately being pulled into his arms. "Makoto, you feel a bit cold. Do you want me to  turn the heating up?"

"I am fine. If you are here Natasha."

He's fine? Really? Maybe she should tell somebody else after all. Because no matter how intelligent and knowledgeable she is regarding the darkness topic.

__

Present 

Back then, all she could do was lock up and hide away somebody who she considered a dear friend. Somebody who acted more like her family than her own mother. They labelled him as a murder, those people didn't give him a chance to prove himself. Jumping to conclusions like that, executing them. The Guardians that rule over the world are not as kind as one would think. The secrets they have, their rules -- eventually somebody other than her will realize it.

That place also needs to change. 

Otherwise, why would so many incidents occur over the past few years? There is something wrong. Amongst the guardians, isn't there a traitor? One of the things she noticed the past few years is a trend in the subjects they send over. So many girls have appeared in the Meiji era. What about the men? It's not like them to discriminate.