Chapter 226 - Window to the subconscious

He is provoking her. Doesn't she recall how many times Rae did this to her in the past? How many times did he try to manipulate the situation, and cause them so many grievances? Take a deep breath Setsura, don't let this get to you. This is just a dream, too; this isn't reality. A dream, a terrible one.

This man died a long time ago; he admitted it moments ago too. Her consciousness is the only thing talking now. A memory from the past, the current Rae, is part of her subconsciousness. Even if she argued with him, it would do no good whatsoever. Besides, the priority now is the cases in the Meiji era. Setsura took a deep breath.

"He isn't dead," she corrected Rae. Even in these dreams, she cannot say his name. However, Setsura knew she wouldn't give anything away.

"He may as well be," Rae murmured. "Those people already held a grudge after what happened with me, correct?"

Indeed, the higher-ups weren't happy with how they concluded Rae's case. Setsura never understood why. While she may have felt that the police treatment of Rae differed from other criminals, she didn't want to think too deeply about it. One of the main reasons why she joined the police was to save up a lot of money. Save up a lot of money, so she could open up her own art studio - her own program. She wanted to make something for the young artists out there.

Taking art doesn't get you anywhere. Setsura heard that speech so many times from other people. That's why she wanted to build a place for those people.

She wanted to turn it into an actual career, even for those who don't have connections. Even for people whose talent has yet to blossom. She wondered if she could call that a dream. It felt like she was more focused on doing things for other people.

Setsura didn't respond. She had no response to that. She believed one day she would be able to meet him again. It did sound like she was contradicting herself. She already chose Akito, and she's wearing the ring he gave her and speaking of the ring. Setsura's gaze fell on her fingers.

It was not there whenever this dream happens. The ring never appears, in fact... Her gaze fell on the mirror. The clothes she wore were from the modern-day.

'Is this place from the future?' Setsura never thought to analyze her surroundings properly. Perhaps it's because most times she finds herself in a compromising position with Rae. Times where she finds herself chained up - and covered in blood. Not pleasant situations to think rationally.

The nights where she doesn't think of this crazy psychotic man, Setsura dreamed of that person, her fiance. No matter how much she dreamed of him though, she could not remember his name or face. Setsura knew he wasn't dead. Otherwise, Oslo would have told her.

Of course, she considered the possibility of Oslo keeping it from her because telling her would have consequences. Consequences such as her abandoning her mission and changing her mind about Akito? No, they wouldn't care about the last thing.

She dreamed that maybe she could have stopped him from killing from taking another life. Even now, Setsura recalls it clearly, her heartbeat, as she ran and ran. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn't catch up with him. The dream would repeat over and over in her head. It was like a curse; there were some times where she would get close. But then, she would fail at the last second. It felt like those dreams intentionally tried to mock her.

Occasionally, she heard a third party's voice laughing in the background. A sinister voice that she knew all too well.

"Still as peculiar as it is, there must be a meaning. Did you know dreams can be considered a window to the unconscious."

The unconscious?

"Perhaps your dreams have a meaning, like Raskolnikov," he laughed.

Setsura knew he was teasing her, but his words contained a hint of some kind. Is he trying to tell her he's alive? Setsura had doubts about his death. Her fiance shot him, but - the body. Did she ever see what happened to his body? The answer is no. That person told her not to worry about it anymore. So, Setsura didn't. After that case, she received a lot more work. She was busy; that's why...

Her forehead creased, did Rae have to use that example? Raskolnikov's dreams in Crime and Punishment were alarming. Then again, this man is a murderer who brutally killed people. Why is she expecting any form of reason from him? But, even murderers have motives.

These people don't kill for fun. Though Rae's case is a bit disturbing since he has no official motive, normally, Setsura would have argued with him. But not this time, she still contemplated the words he said to her.

"Tell me something," Setsura mumbled.

"Yes?" he seemed amused somehow. Setsura didn't even want to ask why he was smirking suddenly.

"Do you appear before him too? Or am I just delusional?" Setsura questioned. It made no sense to her. Even if she regretted how the case ended. Right now, she is still in — her thoughts broke off when Rae leaned forward.

"What are you doing?"

"Something more fun," Rae's lips curve to a smile. "You don't think this is fun?"

And she's on the bed again. A blade brushed against her legs. Setsura shuddered when she felt him slice her leg slightly. He only left a large cut, he did it so swiftly too. "Sade once said it was always by feeling pain that one ends up feeling pleasure."

Setsura immediately understood what he meant and closed her eyes shut. She doesn't like the pain; she doesn't like it at all. However, Rae knew that. Whether it's physical or emotional pain. Setsura disliked it a great deal.

"I wonder how long it will take to break you tonight?"

It was the first time Setsura heard him refer to the previous nights. She simply assumed that he forgot everything. Setsura thought everything reset. But, it turns out that isn't the case here. So, not only does he remember, but — her thoughts fell when he gently brushed his hands across her cheeks. "Rae?" Setsura murmured, puzzled.

One second he acts like an average person, then he acts like a psycho. Then he does this thing where he treats her like a lover would. Is it affection in his eyes right now or hidden madness? Setsura genuinely couldn't tell. Rae does not speak for a few minutes. The silence in the air felt suffocating to her. How is she supposed to react?

After a few minutes, Rae eventually spoke up.

"I'm a bit surprised. Why have you changed so much since you killed me?"

"I was not the one who killed you."

"Ah, yes," Rae nodded. "You lost your memory, of course, you won't remember."

Lost her memory? For a split moment, Setsura doesn't understand what he is talking about. Why does he know she's lost her memories? Is she acting strangely? It took her a while before she realized what he meant. Stupid, of course, he isn't talking about the Meiji era. He's speaking about the present. After that case, she lost her memories. If he's a figment of her subconscious, then it makes sense.

Setsura thought this for a long time. But, what if he isn't from her imagination? What if Rae has somehow found a way to communicate to her who is stuck in the past? Until a body is found, Setsura felt that the man was still alive.

"It seems our time is up for today. The next time we meet, I shall overstep my boundaries."

...

...

Setsura opened her eyes again, and a deep sigh crossed her lips. She spotted Izu, fast asleep on the chair beside her bed. It was still dark out. Naturally, it would. 'Only 4:30 am.' From the looks of it, Akito hasn't returned yet. Maybe she can take a quick walk? It's too dark outside, so around the mansion should work.

Two trips in one night, meeting with Rae. What a troublesome situation. Setsura isn't sure she could speak to anybody about this though confining another person would be best. There are so many cases going on right now, adding to it will not help. 'Does it have to be Akito?' Chauncey Long's words echoed in her head.

It doesn't have to be; it could be anyone else. However, nobody else has tried. No, even if they did. They wouldn't come close.

With Akito, there was something different. She doesn't know what it is, but she felt safe around him.

Setsura felt like if she continued spending time with him, her insecurities would vanish. It was slowly coming to that. Whenever she is with him, she did not think of such troublesome things. The safety of the arms of the man she is dating; it is strange but not a bad feeling.

They had moments where they argued, of course, and yet even then, he would fall asleep on the same bed with her. Akito would still have his arms wrapped around her like he already knew, that she felt safe being beside him. Setsura took it for granted that Akito would always be there by her side. She didn't think that one day somebody would rip them apart.

Why would anyone bother with that? There are so many crimes occurring now.