Chapter 289 - Never ending?

It's obvious how to deal with men like Yang. She knows what the right words to use are. People eventually become transparent and manifest all sorts of signs and traits. He must have understood where she came from since he reached over and patted her head. He squeezed her hand as though to reassure her.

...

Lately, the nightmares do not stop.

But it's not like they ever went away. Those dark emotions and feelings remain deep in her heart.

They creep up on you when you least expect it. Did she really think it was that easy to obtain happiness? Setsura felt awful while she wanted to stay and listen. She knew that she would not be able to contribute in her present state. After washing her face with cold water, Setsura looked around for a towel; the moment she found one, she saw it. The remaining droplets from the water turned red.

Setsura froze and backed away from the sink. This is no good at all; she keeps seeing odd things.

People invent expectations about someone without really knowing them, and when they don't live up to these expectations, they get mad.

If that's going to happen anyway, then she would rather be alone. If they are just going to get disappointed in her because she is not who they thought she would be. Then there is no point getting involved in the first place. Yet that person had never once had any such expectations of her. He was different; unlike the rest, there seemed to be a gentle aura coming out of him.

Setsura felt suffocated whenever she was in that house, especially during the weekends where everybody was around.

No, when it was just her and her father. Even with her half-sister there. It felt very stifling. She always kept to herself during the weekends or whenever he came home from work during the weekday. Setsura never thought to confide in him with anything. How could she? Just being around him made her chest ache with pain. Growing up whenever a problem arose, Setsura made plenty of efforts to change the situation around. 'I want to talk to you..'

However, he would always look at her with those cold eyes. He never cared about her, and she knew that from the very start. If her mother didn't die, he would have eventually found a way to get rid of her. Setsura knew even if he didn't have power, the situation would not change.

When somebody treats you like nothing, treats you like garbage. It will remain that way forever, they've already made their minds up. People are fixed on a single mindset. If they believe something is right, something is wrong - they won't change their minds. That person was the same.

Since she arrived here in the Meiji era since she regained her memories bit by bit. Setsura finally understood what those dark shadows and disturbing voices in her dreams were. The main source of those voices, that image of a young her in the darkness, was her father. Right after her mother's death, Setsura went through a lot. For a long time, she lived with that person,

But, even the small piece of happiness she experienced there - they took it from her. Setsura never understood why she had to move back into that house. Why did they want her back?

Setsura felt faint, so she leaned against the wall and sat down. She closed her eyes..

…

The image constantly flickered, a stream - of memories, eventually it stopped and settled to one. The first thing Setsura saw was her younger self. Back when she was a child, her gaze wasn't as dark. There were traces of light and hope in them. The young her ran happily towards an approaching silhouette.

Setsura's eyes widened as she recognized this memory.

No! This was the moment where she completely gave up hope. The moment she realized it was useless. The moment she gave up hope in life. She tried to stop her younger self, but the little girl ran through her, and his pleas vanished into thin air.

"Father!" Setsura said happily.

Setsura cringed when she saw the young her with so much hope and filled with life. Then again, the reason why the life returned to her eyes was because of that guy. After what happened with her mother, the incident traumatized her.

"Look, father, I received the results of my tests. I scored full marks! Even higher than --" her sentence fell short when she saw the look on her father's face.

He seized the papers in the young girl's hands and crumbled it.

It was exactly as she remembered. Maybe because she was seeing things for the second time, Setsura felt more horrified. She remembers this scene all too well.

"What do you possibly hope to achieve by showing me this, Setsura?" Her father mocked. If looks could kill, Setsura knew she would be dead by now. The look on her father's face is as deadly as she remembered it. Even though this was something that happened in the past, it made her shudder.

"Your siblings aced every test, and they did not gloat about it!" Father snapped. The disgust on his face increased as he looked her up and down. "What do you want? New clothes? You already bought some last week."

What does she want?

Your love attention.

She wanted him to be proud, proud of her. But, it was a waste of time. Setsura doesn't even know why she bothered trying.

"Father!" a little girl with short curly hair appeared in the doorway. "I drew this picture, and it won an award."

"There's my little girl! Show Daddy your drawing."

'It's quite standard.' Setsura remembered thinking how unfair it was. If she excelled in art too, would he like it? But, it was something she liked to do anyway. She remembered thinking about how her half-sister did that deliberately. Even though art wasn't her sister's passion, she showed up that day to stake a claim on it.

Father glanced back at her with such hate, "What are you doing still standing there? I'm done with you already! You pathetic excuse of a child."

Sobbing.

Screaming.

Stop, stop, stop.

Why? Why does he look at her like that? Why? We are both your children. Why? Why? But, she knew no matter how much she screamed or cried, nobody would come for her anymore. Nobody would come for her; she would remain still.

.....

Setsura snapped her eyes open and clamped her hand on her mouth to stifle her sobs. She wouldn't even know how to explain this to anybody walking by. Thankfully, the corridors remained quiet and no sign of life. She needs to calm down. What good will it do to her? Her thoughts broke off when she felt a warm hand brush against her forehead.

"Setsura? Are you alright?"

Her eyes widened when she saw who it belonged to. "Akito...?"

"You look awfully pale, you're sweating a lot."

"Akito..."

What is he doing here? Did he come with Chauncey Long? That's very strange, unless, "You came to see me?" she guessed.

A sly smile appeared on Akito's face, "Yeah, I wanted to see your face a bit. Do you mind?"

She doesn't. Right now, she is so glad to see him. Setsura buried her face in his arms, and Akito wrapped his arms around her, "What happened? Did you have a nightmare again? Sssh, it's alright. I'm right here beside you, Setsura. You're not alone anymore."