Chapter 377 - I want to see Akito

It was already late when she returned to the house with Yang, imagine Chauncey's surprise when they returned together. It looked like Chauncey wanted to comment, but it was difficult for him, too, with Yang's protective arms across her shoulders. 

Yang did not say anything when they returned to the room. He touched her a little bit but didn't finish since he fell asleep. Setsura wanted to read some of the books she brought back from the library, but she felt exhausted.

Her eyelids feel heavy, and she fell asleep.

...

People say dreams are merely to do with a person's imagination. But how could something so painful possibly be made up?

'Are you in pain?'

'Good suffer. Remember your sin. Keep remembering, remembering it, and even when things have changed for you, remember it'.

'Because there is no use in trying to escape... Instead, you must...'

Ah, that's right; that person told her such words. Even though he was the person who helped her escape her pain.

He also reminded her of her sins, but that was fine.

He did not have to remind her in the first place.

No matter how much time passed by, she would always remember it. The pain she caused those dear to her and the expressions on their faces afterwards.

She won't forget it.

She won't end her life and die because that would mean running away. It would mean trying to escape, escape from all the pain she caused people, and that wouldn't be right.

Penance for the many sins she had amassed--

"Setsura, wake UP."

Setsura opened her eyes and found Yang shaking her awake; he was shouting for her to escape the nightmare that had plagued her since she fell asleep. She felt her entire body trembling, the sound of her rapid heartbeat and ringing in her ears.

The world felt like it was spinning. But she slowly calm down. 

Yang carefully wrapped his arm around her, "Are you going to be sick?"

Setsuraa nodded as he carefully led her into the bathroom. Ah, what's wrong with her? She really.... She suddenly felt warmth brush her hair away from her face.

"Setsura," Yang said gently.

What a tender and gentle voice. Quite some time has passed since Yang has said her name this way. 

I am not usually an emotional person. But some things move me.

So warm and so very kind. That's right, despite what others say about him, this person has always been, "...Your warm."

Yang sighed. "No need, I know you usually say that stuff to Akito."

"Why would you know?"

"I spoke to him before I chased after you." Yang trailed off and sighed. "He was very worried about you coming back. He seemed visibly shaken, so I had to reassure the idiot that you're not leaving and that you would return."

So Akito was worried about that? Of course, he would be. During the time they were together, he did not hide his discomfort whenever she mentioned her memories. This was why she stopped talking to him about it. She does not want to see that expression on his face ever again.

If he told Yang the things that would make her feel better… 

He disclosed such information to his rival. Akito was that worried, huh?

"I know it is early, but should we head there first after all? Your spacing out."

Shoot, it was noticeable. She can't tell him what she was thinking, because he will indirectly brush it off to prevent her from worrying. Ah, this is what Altheia-san meant, huh? It's because she does things like this, that he never truly understands what she's thinking. 

Setsura reached over and placed her hand on his face. "...Sumire?".

It's because she can't be selfish.

Because she never asks help for anyone and always takes everything up herself. Always taking on tasks alone.

Stuff like 'I don't want to burden them.'

Or,' she can handle it by herself' may have just been excuses this entire time.

Ah, after all, she's like that.

Akito said it before,' Your actions tend to contradict the words your saying. Is there really any need for you to put on such a strong front all the time? Your afraid, aren't you. Of betrayal, of getting hurt. That's why you hide under this mask of deception and see through others. But what you really want is someone to break through your facade, to see through it and pull you to the surface'.

Akito was not the only one who said those words to her, but that guy said something similar. The person who saved her from never-ending darkness. She wants to see Akito again; she wants to have a proper talk with him. There are so many things she wants to say to that person.

Her thoughts broke off when Yang pulled her down onto the bed. He buried his lips on her neck. "I know what your thinking; you want to meet with him, don't you?"

"Yang…"

"You know, Setsura," Yang mumbled. "I wasn't kidding when I said I liked you. I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to marry you either."

Her eyes widened when she heard those words. "But I understand better than anyone how difficult my behavior is. It must have been difficult for you."

If he says things like that, how can she possibly dump him?

This isn't fair; he isn't making this easy for her. She said those words to Chauncey, but Sestsura understood that she did not say it with conviction. It will be very difficult for her to leave this person. But could she continue their relationship and her mission at the same time?

The recent events lately have made her think a lot, and she understood after much thought. There is somebody after her in the past and the future. The person who is her partner will get hurt the most, so she decided it would be betterto be alone. But, her gaze fell on Yang, who was placing kisses down her neck.

Not only does he make it hard for her to let him go, but he does so by making her feel loved. This won't be easy, huh?