Chapter 392 - Wishing for your happiness

Just as he said earlier Akito needed a few rewrites. When she was about to finish her letters. Akito finally finished his one letter.

"I finished, quite some time has passed since I did any writing."

'He doesn't write daily? Then again, he does spend most days just sleeping.

Her thoughts broke off when he hands her the letter. "Here you go."

"What--" She trailed off. "Isn't this for.."

'For somebody important to you?' She swallowed those words back.

"Nope it's a letter for you."

Despite her confusion, she accepts the letter without saying a word. She examined it.

Just as Akito said that he had not written in quite some time. But his writing impressed. The letters flowed like water.

"Oh hey, it be embarrassing if you read it in front of me. Could you read it while I'm not right here?"

Setsura nodded and put the letter in her bag. But even then, she remained in a daze. So this entire time he wrote a letter for her. It wasn't for anybody else, wasn't for another girl.

"Setsura? Is something wrong?"

"I thought of something stupid." Setsura trailed off. Should she tell him? Her gaze fell on Akito and she clenched her fist.

It's okay, this is the one person she trusts.

"Just now I thought you were writing for somebody other than me."

"Setsura."

For some reason, all these thoughts are all coming out now. It is all spiraling out of control now, everything she held back.

Setsura knew she should stop before she ends up saying something she will regret. But, she continued regardless.

"Due to your past with other women. I thought that you would probably be writing to one of them. Whether or not that is what you intended.."

Ah she can't stop, even though it sounds stupid.

He doesn't say anything in response to that and instead moves closer to her. Akito reached over, his hand patted her cheek. This sensation and warmth that she has not felt in so long. She missed it more than she thought.

"You're not on your guard it seems."

"I am too exhausted." Indeed recently it feels as though her strength has declined. Oslo did say that time travelling is dangerous. But she didn't think it would end up this way.

"You're tired because you push yourself too hard."

Right now Akito is so close to her.

She should pull away and yet she did not mind the warmth of this hand. It's almost soothing to her.

"What exhausts me isn't my work, it's you. ..I have not forgotten what you said to me that time."

"How to put it? I thought you liked Yang this entire time. Therefore I thought it might be best if I let you two just be together."

"That.. That was just you jumping to conclusions."

She thought he was trying to protect her or something. Setsura thought that one of the reasons why he agreed to the break up was because he wanted to protect her. It turns out he had other foolish thoughts in his head.

"Sorry." Akito apologised. "Sorry I won't say that anymore. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone sorry. I just thought that it would make you happier. Although, to be honest that wasn't my true motive either."

"Then, why did you do all that?" Setsura questioned. "I don't understand you."

That's right, no matter how close they become with each other. She can never seem to read him.

"I can't understand you. What are you thinking? What do you want from me?"

She thought she understood him better than anyone. But it turns out she knew nothing at all.

Saying words like he will stand by her side, he will protect her. 'I don't understand him the mist. But I still know things about him.' Setsura thought.

"Everything I said to you is true. No wait at the start I admit, I joked around with you." Akito trailed off. "But you realized that right?"

"Yes."

"Those jokes turned into the truth. I liked you, and I want to make your life easier for you. I want to do this by standing by your side. But if you preferred Yang, I thought I couldn't force you."

Her eyes widened when she heard this explanation. She knew already that he was doing it because he meant well but to think that the reasoning was like this.

"Would that satisfy you? If I left your side permanently."

"Well, indeed it wouldn't make me happy. But you would be happy, for me that's enough. The happiness of the person I like."

Setsura shook her head. "You did it without asking, so you were assuming what would make you happy under your own assumptions. What you did was selfish and thoughtless." She snapped.

'I don't want to get angry at him. But is he serious? I have never met such a pathetic person before..'

Light laughter escaped Akito lips. "Your tongue is as sharp as ever. But I suppose I deserve that. Still was I wrong for wishing for the girl I like to be happy? Wishing for the happiness of the one you like. Is that wrong?" His voice sounded so desperate.

Setsura bit her lip. 'It isn't..or is it?' It feels like she had this conversation with somebody else before. Who was it?

"Of course it is wrong." Setsura said after a few minutes of debating about it. That's right, it's wrong.

Akito's eyes widened at her words. It seemed like he didn't expect it.

"I wouldn't be able to handle watching the person I like be with another person. To treat them with kindness, to give them an affectionate hug or kiss."

Just the mere thought of it was painful.

"I wouldn't be able to wish the other happiness. I would be uneasy and scared everyday. But then again you ..used me.."

Using her as a sub for his wife. She can name countless other things Akito did to wrong her.

But she can't lecture him anymore on that. It didn't seem right to say that anymore after all.

"You're wrong about that."

Wrong? Setsura looked at him puzzled.