Chapter 44: Broken Inside

Chapter 44: Broken Inside

I stare at the corgi, and he stares back at me. He blinks a few times, and I do the same.

Okay.

Okay!

Maybe I'm just hearing things.

Let's try again.

I grab a piece of meat from Kevin and wave it in front of the dog.

(Food! Food!) I hear again, and the corgi starts wagging his tail.

"..."

I stare at him again, and he stares at me and the meat, unable to look only at me.

What the heck, Biscuit?!

Did you obtain a skill or something?

Also, is it a telepathic communication skill or something like that?

A strong suspicion fills my mind. Did you obtain this kind of skill only to be able to ask for more food?

That can't be, right?

(Food! Food!) I continue to hear it in my mind.

The corgi's eyes now stay glued to the piece of meat in my hand and follow it from side to side as I move it in front of him.

"..."

Biscuit...

Why do I even bother? I throw the meat at him, and the voice in my head disappears.

He gobbles it up and looks at me with what looks like cheeky smile.

You little twerp.

I will be mad if I get offered a tamer class or something like this in place of something much more awesome.

No one else seems to be surprised, so I guess I was the only one able to hear the corgi. It's either because he did talk to me only, or they just were unable to.

I would pay just to see their reactions.

I lean back and close my eyes while listening to the quiet conversation around the campfire and feeling the warmth of the bodies around me.

Dang telepathic dogs, what's next?

Slowly, I doze off and fall asleep.This chapter's initial release occurred on the n0vell--Bjjn site.

So, I found some weird thing inside my skull. It seems to be feeding on my mana and growing stronger together with my growing mana.

That would explain why I wasn't able to remove it even after my level vastly outperformed hers.

My theory is that she used her [Manipulation] and [Mana Infusion] on me back then inside the bus when the first monster we met attacked.

At that point, her mana points were at 3, while mine were at 1, and she also said she started with [Manipulation] at level two.

So back then, she was stronger than me, and in desperation and probably not even knowing what she was doing, she pushed her mana inside me and created this... construct. And then the construct grew with me while sucking on my mana to not be washed away by my mana pool.

It's just guessing, but I am sure that I am close to it.

So I continue to watch the construct. My multiple attempts to remove it were unsuccessful. Even the full power of my mana wasn't enough; like a parasite, it pretends to be a part of me, and my body and even mana seems to be partly tricked by it.

I will continue to observe it, and I might be able to learn something from how it works. I also start covering it with my mana, so Sophie won't feel it by mistake while using her skill to detect enemies and doesn't recognize it somehow.

But damn, it pisses me off.

I gesture at Kim to stop and sit down, and he joins me breathlessly but with a satisfied smile on his face as he stares at the sky.

He has been like this since the start. Even after all he went through, he seems to be content with it and smiles happily every time he improves a bit.

Finally, I ask, unable to hide my curiosity and wanting to know the answer I thought over multiple times.

“Why are you so happy?”

At first, he seems surprised by my question, but then looks at me. His glasses are already gone as his improved constitution healed this defect, and his messy hair is longer than before.

“Everything feels meaningful now,” he starts carefully and then pauses. I just tilt my head slightly, waiting for him to continue.

“You know, back on Earth, all I did was study. My parents are super strict, and that's all I knew." he pauses once again, "The problem is every time I did something, it was not enough. Never good enough. I had to get better grades, study harder, behave better, and stop wasting my time.” He looks straight into my eyes.

"It probably sounds silly to you, but it was way too much for me," he is looking for the right words, "It felt like I couldn't breathe. That's the best way I can explain it."

He takes a deep, long breath.

“I tried to kill myself once,” he says out of nowhere with a gentle smile on his face. Then he turns away from me to look back at the sky.

“I just couldn't handle it. All this pressure and disappointment from my parents. My older siblings were able to get to the best schools and universities, they got great jobs, yet me... no matter how hard I tried, I could never compare to them.”

I see.

“But now,” once again, a smile flashes. “It doesn't matter anymore, and it won't matter even if I come back to Earth. No more studying, no more comparing to my siblings, no more controlling me.” He squeezes his fist.

So that's how it is.

“I try hard, and I get rewarded. I practice and improve my level and my skills. Finally, I am good at something.” Ten or so small stones fly up into the air and start orbiting his hand in difficult patterns. “Everything I do matters now. I hunt food we eat, I fight enemies so we can stay alive, and I train so hard it hurts sometimes.”

He laughs quietly.

“I know you understand, we are similar... somewhat.”

He can't be more than fifteen, still a child in my eyes. His eyes are big, and his smile is bright, while stones orbit around his hand faster and in more difficult patterns. He seems happy.

Yet, I can't shake the feeling that he is still somewhat wounded inside.