Volume 1 - CH 14

Volume 1, Chapter 14: A Notice

Wait for Senpai

Look for Shigure

→ Go home

Yukinaga-senpai and I went our different ways as we exited the third year classroom, and I headed back towards the school entrance.

The setting sun could be seen from the window, and it would be getting dark soon.

As to why I was walking down the hallway at such a late hour, I reminisced about what happened today.

Study session with classmates.

I had never been the center of the class like that before. Maybe I was just being used in a nice way, but it was still an amazing change from what it was not so long ago.

Study session with Hareyama Hanae, a.k.a. Aipon.

One of the girls I was interested in. Honestly, I didn't even know why.

She was cute, and it wasn't strange for a guy to be interested in such a girl at all.

I was surprised that despite being cute, she was also airheaded, but I guess that was part of her charm.

Or maybe, it was just because that it was too big that it was bothering me.

Reunited with the Senpai Killer, my kouhai Shigure Airi.

She was getting hit on, and I saved her, just like in some dating game.

When she told me that she actually didn't have a boyfriend, I was secretly happy about it.

Because of her appearance and personality, she was the number one girl on my list to protect.

Even now, she had me worried.

Promised a date with a tsun-tsun girl, Azumi Reika.

One of the girls I was interested in, part two. Well, they did mention it wasn't a date, but if you just look at the contents of what we were to do, it was practically a shopping date.

A girl who was pretty, yet was still working had to further enhance and maintain her appearance.

I wondered who it was for. Whoever she was interested in was lucky.

I thought about the guy who would get to see the dere side of this tsun-tsun girl.

An ancient high school girl? Yukinaga Mutsuki, if you talk with her long enough.

A gorgeous senpai who taught me that there were diseases that couldn't be cured by medicine.

Still, why was there such a big difference, even though it was only a year apart? At the very least, she was far more mature than the girls on my class.

Her occasional flustered moments were honestly too unfair.

These past few days, my surroundings had become much livelier and more energetic.

I started changing myself as if I was motivated by something, and acted like I also was guided by something.

Then, I met and made contact with the four girls I was interested in.

But lately, I had been thinking a lot.

What would happen with the four of us from here, and what was in store for us? For some reason, whenever I thought about these things, my mind became dizzy and I couldn't think straight.

I changed myself and acted on my desire to have a girlfriend. But when I thought about my actions towards the four people I had met,  I was being passive.

This didn't make sense to me. If I wanted them, I should have been more determined in my actions.

Just what is this…

It was a feeling different from déjà vu. It was as if someone, or something, was binding my thoughts and made me unable to move.

I cared about the four of them, but I didn't think I was acting on my own. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it was that I couldn't.

Looking back when I met them, I didn't feel like I made the choices myself either when I was with them.

But when I spotted Hareyama crying, when I saw Shigure getting hit on, or when I fixed Azumi's broken bicycle, those were the times where I would have made a move.

What was I thinking when I approached them? It obviously couldn't have been out of kindness.

Were there any ulterior motives? There must have been. Did I take my chances? I probably did.

It was an opportunity to get acquainted with a group of pretty girls who were conveniently in trouble during a time where I was looking for a girlfriend.

I should have...And definitely did...

I was left with the sickening sensation of having been forced to move.

Well, it would be what it would be. My endgame wouldn't change...and there it was again, that déjà vu.

No, I should stop thinking about it. It's making me sick...

I had never been in love. Part of it was probably because of the failure after acting on it. Perhaps those deep, psychological factors were putting brakes on my thoughts.

Maybe I had some mental illness or something. Or maybe I was too afraid to love, and I was blaming others for my behaviour.

It was when I was convincing myself while I was walking down the dimly lit corridor towards the entrance with the sun setting in the background.

My eyes met those of a male student who was walking from the opposite direction from which I came from.

"..."

"..."

There were no greetings exchanged, although we were supposed have seen each other.

The guy on the other side had no expression on his face, and I probably didn't, either. The pair of eyes that were locked onto each other quickly separated and I headed towards the shoe box as if nothing happened.

But since the location of our shoe boxes were close to each other, the mood became slightly awkward.

It was only natural that the boxes were near, because we were classmates.

We changed into our shoes and left the entrance at about the same time.

Under this faint light, but still bright enough to recognize each other's faces, I halted on my tracks on the way to the school gate.

I didn't know if he noticed or not, but my classmate kept on walking.

This distance between us was gradually widening. When I realized that the next time I would probably see him was tomorrow, I called out to him.

"―― Tendou."

Tendou Susumu, a classmate of mine, reacted to my voice and turned around.

I had known this guy since I became a second year, but we had never talked to each other.

He probably didn't expect to be spoken to. Tendou's expression looked slightly surprised.

From a distance away, I spoke those words.

"One route, has disappeared."

Déjà vu, again. I felt like I had also said these same words in the past.

What was in my head was a notice to Tendou.

I didn't know what I was saying, but I felt like I had to say it, so I couldn't help but say it.