CH 51

“You ran into the wall by yourself, why are you blaming me… Aoo~ I surrender, I surrender…”

“I wrote it just for fun, to entertain readers. How could I have known that a powerful cultivator like you would really be stupid enough to crash into a wall… Aoo~ not stupid, not stupid…”

“How do you want to die? Quick and painless… ?!”

“Aoo~”

“In the future, will you still dare to do it!”

“Aoo~”

“Bang!”

Back at home, Chu Ge’s figure was stuck to the wall, slowly sliding down.

Qiu Wuji clapped her hands, as if there was dust on them, and said in a cold tone, “Oh, looks like your Golden Bell Shield training is going pretty good. You hit the wall without getting hurt.”

Chu Ge was also a little surprised. He had no sense of pain when he crashed into the wall. Did the Golden Bell Shield really work so well after only practicing for a short time? Of course, to maintain his dignity, he said, “That’s because my Master taught me well. I can’t compare to my Master’s brilliance when she crashed into a stone door. Even when she hits a wall, she does it so beautifully…”

Qiu Wuji gritted her teeth and said, “Do you really think I won’t beat you up?”

“Hissss~ don’t pinch me anymore, you’re going to squeeze the Golden Bell Shield into perfection…”

“That’s good, it’ll help you train the Golden Bell Shield to resist pinching.” Qiu Wuji sneered and said, “I carefully studied the Golden Bell Shield technique, and it says that there are different training modes for resisting sharp and blunt attacks. I have tailored a set of training methods specifically for you. Get up!”

Chu Ge cautiously got up and asked, “What method?”

“Thump!”

A durian hit Chu Ge’s head.

Chu Ge: “?”

Qiu Wuji looked at his arms and legs, very satisfied, and said, “You see, doesn’t this train you to resist both blunt and sharp attacks?”

Chu Ge: “…”

The next moment, several durians rushed out from the corner of the wall, hitting Chu Ge’s stomach and back, rolling up and down.

“Pfft!” Chu Ge’s eyeballs bulged out. “This is murder…”

Before he could say more, two durians hit his left and right shoulders with a thud-thud.

“Don’t move.” Qiu Wuji smiled and said, “If you are twisted and turned by durians, you will lose the meaning of exercise, so you must endure and use your Golden Bell Shield to resist. If any of the three durians on your head and shoulders fall off, you will have to endure for another half hour for each, and if all three fall off, you will be poked all night.”

Chu Ge didn’t feel too much pain, but his whole body felt like it was being bitten by countless ants. He gritted his teeth and said, “Don’t bully me, I don’t understand. Are you torturing me for your own satisfaction?”

Qiu Wuji rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling. “I am a Crossing Tribulation Realm cultivator, you are just a story fabricator. If you want to cultivate, you should listen to me. Think it over.”

Chu Ge: “…”

Qiu Wuji said again, “Even if the durians on your belly roll off, the ones on your head and shoulders should be supported by you.”

“Why is that?”

“To exercise your balance and stability.” Qiu Wuji pointed to the messy furnishings in the room. “Have you noticed that these past two days, when you accelerate your movements, you become unstable and easily twisted or fall? The coffee table was knocked crooked by you. Don’t you feel it?”

Chu Ge began to think it made sense and asked, “Do I also have to practice a horse stance?”

“That’s a mortal warrior’s method. We don’t need such crude methods.”

“…Then what is this foreign method of durian head-poking?”

“It’s just to help you find a sense of balance. Once you find this feeling with a strong mental imprint, you can adjust your body on your own, and I don’t think it will take long. Others use muscle memory, but us cultivators use a mental imprint. As for muscle training itself, the Golden Bell Shield can provide that, and running also has significance.”

Chu Ge listened and thought it was more professional. He looked at the durians on his left and right shoulders and the one still stuck on his stomach, and stiffened his neck without saying a word.

He can’t even move his head, because there’s one more on his head.

Seeing him honestly holding up the durians, Qiu Wuji turned her head and smiled secretly.

Successfully lied.

Well, it’s not a total lie, it does work, it’s just that there are other ways to do it.

The reason she used this method… was that someone once said that kneeling on durians was a good way to teach a lesson to a (male) person. Well, kneeling is fine, but sticking them to body parts is more funny. 

Qiu Wuji was in a good mood as she tidied up the room. “You’ve knocked everything crooked and messy, it looks terrible. I can’t believe you can live in this.”

Without comparison, Chu Ge originally thought his room was quite tidy, but now he suddenly felt that it was almost like a dog’s den.

Qiu Wuji rubbed her chin and looked around for a while, shaking her head. “Too ordinary.”

Chu Ge helplessly said, “I haven’t written about how magical your room is.”

“It’s precisely because you haven’t written about it that it’s magical. If you wrote about it, it would be ruined.”

Chu Ge: “…”

“I’ll go and bring back two plants tomorrow to raise. The jasmine downstairs is pretty good, and the roses are growing nicely…”

“Don’t, those are public property and can’t be picked,” Chu Ge said.

Qiu Wuji was surprised. “This is also public property?”

“Yeah, either pick wild ones in the field or just buy potted plants. It’s simple and straightforward.”

Qiu Wuji knew that buying a well-raised potted plant was good, but she felt it was a waste of money. She thought about it and shook her head. “I’ll go to the outskirts tomorrow and see. Also, buy some Xuan paper…” (TL: Xuan paper, also known as rice paper is prized for its fine texture, absorbency, and durability, making it suitable for calligraphy, painting, and other art forms.)

“Why buy that?”

“To make some calligraphy and paintings. I know it’s probably quite expensive, but I can do it myself, right?”

Chu Ge said bitterly. “Even if you live for ten thousand years…”

Qiu Wuji glared at him.

Chu Ge immediately changed his tune. “Uh, you’re all-powerful. You can write and draw yourself, but don’t you still need to frame it? This is just a rented place, we can make do without it, why bother…”

“Who’s making do without anything?” Qiu Wuji said. “This is where I live, so at least I want to feel comfortable here.”

Chu Ge was stunned for a moment, then grinned. “You’re right.”

Qiu Wuji knew what he was thinking from his expression. She turned around and said impatiently, “I’m going to play on the computer. You keep practicing your technique. It’s for your own good, don’t be lazy.”

“Okay, okay, I know…” Chu Ge felt strange. He really felt like he had a daughter sometimes, but other times it felt like he had a mother.

Overall, was this what having a wife was like?

Hmm, he couldn’t say that. If he did, he would be beaten to death.

As Qiu Wuji hadn’t even reached her room yet, the doorbell rang outside.

She was taken aback. “Did you order takeout? Or is it the gas delivery?”

“It hasn’t been that long. There’s no need to change the gas yet…” Chu Ge’s words trailed off as they heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock, and the door was opened directly.

Chu Ge: “?”

Qiu Wuji: “?”

Zhang Qiren stepped inside. “I forgot that I still have the key. Haha, Chu… uh?”

He instinctively retreated from the door, looked up at the doorplate, and then at the key in his hand, his eyes full of confusion.

Did I come to the wrong place? But why does this place look different and smell so good…

Then he saw a very beautiful woman staring at him with an unfriendly expression, her eyes full of killing intent.

He recognized this woman too. She was the “female fan” who appeared at the banquet earlier.

Zhang Qiren’s eyes flickered, and he saw Chu Ge standing there with durians on his head and shoulders.