CH 38

Chapter 38 – Reflection and Advice

On the first day of helping the student council (Thursday), after dropping Urushibara-san off at her home and returning home, I think about the Urushibara-san today.

In case you’re wondering, I knew I was going to be late because of the student council thing, so I asked my mom to walk Dozle in advance.

Today was the first time I saw Urushibara-san cry.

At school, she is always dignified and firm, and is the idol of the school that everyone can rely on.

When it’s just the two of us, she’s always smiling and happy, sometimes angry, teasing or sweet…

I didn’t expect Urushibara-san to start crying.

She got angry after someone said something that made fun of me a bit, and she seemed to be in a bad mood afterwards, but I didn’t realize how frustrated she was…

At that time, I was so shaken that I couldn’t think calmly, but now I understand.

I’m the reason why Urushibara-san cried today.

When I was in junior high school, I refused to get involved with other people, and Kudo-kun, who was my junior at the time, made fun of me based on the gossip of the time.

Furthermore, if I had clearly denied it or been angry on the spot, it would not have led to Urushibara-san becoming angry.

If I had been aware of Urushibara-san’s behavior afterwards and had been able to take actions, I wouldn’t have driven her to tears.

All of this was the result of my constant running away.

I didn’t want to run away in front of Urushibara-san, but I’m really pathetic.

If I want to continue to be by Urushibara-san’s side as her friend, I can’t be the same person I am now.

I keep making Urushibara-san worry, and I keep burdening her.

Urushibara-san’s tears finally made me realize that I need to change my tormented mind from junior high school and rethink my school life from now on.

However, what should I do?

I can’t help but think of those words…

A person who can’t read the air and pushes his kindness towards others.

If I try to do something willingly, I risk causing trouble for someone else.

I know now that Urushibara-san and my family will not think that way.

But I’m still afraid that other people will think I’m a nuisance.

Hmm…

Ah! Isn’t it because I think and act on my own in this way that I always end up failing?

If I talk to someone, they might have a better idea than I do.

The first person who comes to mind as a consultant is Urushibara-san.

I’m sure that Urushibara-san, the saint of this world, will listen to my consultation without making a sour face.

But I don’t want to burden Urushibara-san any further in this matter.

Then the next person that comes to mind is…Haruko.

Haruko is a bit of a chuuni, but she’s always calm and smart.

She is also very meddlesome and always looks out for me, his older brother.

Furthermore, she’s good friends with Urushibara-san and has seen how close we are to each other.

There is no better person to talk to than Haruko.

I immediately visited Haruko’s room.

When I opened the door with a bang without knocking, I found Haruko at her desk studying.

“You should at least knock. I have my own privacy!”

“Sorry to interrupt your studies. I need your advice about something.”

“EH!?!?!? It’s so rare that Onii-chan is asking for advice!”

“Yes. Haruko is the only person I can talk to, or rather, Haruko is the best person to talk to, please.”

“Um, okay. So what’s it about? About Himeka-san?”

“Not exactly. It’s more about me. I’ve had a lot to reflect on, and I’m wondering what I should do now.”

“What exactly happened?”

“Today at school, Urushibara-san was crying. We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, but it was the first time, and I realized that it was because of me who keeps running away. I want to quit doing that, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Himeka-san…cried? I can’t imagine for a second… Since Himeka-san has such a strong sense of justice, did something extremely frustrating happen?”

“Yeah, it seems so… Urushibara-san invited me to help out with the student council. But I was made fun of by a junior student in the student council, and Urushibara-san got very upset. Later, when the two of us were with another senior, she started crying because she was so frustrated.”

“Maybe Himeka-san felt responsible for Onii-chan being ridiculed because she invited him. And I think she also felt frustrated that she couldn’t prevent that from happening.”

“Yes, I think so too. So if I hadn’t run away from the beginning and had spoken back strongly to that junior and had been considerate of Urushibara-san, I don’t think it would have caused her to cry.”

“Well, yes. If Onii-chan had been more firm and resolute, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“So, from now on, I’m going to change myself, but I’m still scared… I’m ashamed to say it, but in front of people other than Urushibara-san, Haruko and Dozle, I just shrink away.”

“Is that because of what Kasumi-chan told you in junior high school?”

“I knew it, so you did ask Kasumi, after all.”

“Yes, only a little bit.”

“I see…”

“But! I don’t think of you that way! Onii-chan may be a softy, but he’s definitely not a bad person! That’s what Himeka-san said too.”

“I see… So Urushibara-san knows about my middle school incident as well…”

“Sorry, I told her. But Himeka-san is a person who would never make fun of Onii-chan.”

“Yeah, I know that. But I think I’ve taken advantage of that too much.”

“In that case, why don’t you socialize actively again like you used to? You can stop taking advantage of Himeka-san any further this way.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of…”

“Then… You don’t have to come to them yourself, but why don’t you stop rejecting them coming to you? You don’t have to close the distance yourself, but don’t build a wall when they come closer.”

“I see… Then it wouldn’t be pushy or meddlesome… Alright, I’ve made up my mind! I’ll do just that. Thanks for the advice!”

“You’re welcome. Also, you should take the initiative in showing your concern for Himeka-san. I’m sure Himeka-san will be happier that way.”

“Urushibara-san, huh…? Understood. Thank you for the advice. Also, Urushibara-san said she wanted to come for a study session this weekend too, so I think she’ll be back. Let’s study together again”

“Ah! I’ll pass. Next time, Onii-chan and Himeka-san should have a study session just with the two of you.”

“Hmm, if that’s what Haruko wants, then alright.”

“Well then, good night.”

Even though she’s my little sister, she’s dependable.

It was the right decision to consult with her.

Thanks to her, I was able to determine my direction for tomorrow.