CH 74

This Time I'm Seeing Things Properly

TN: I suggest reading slowly. This chapter is kinda confusing because of the weird way Amane addresses him/herself.

I hear a crunching sound.

I’m standing in a dimly lit room, wearing my school uniform.

I don’t know when I changed my clothes.

I’ve been sleeping with Alice and then…

It’s strange. I don’t remember changing my clothes at all.

Did I change my clothes while falling asleep?

“Alice is…”

I looked around the room and cringed.

There was a light on the stand attached to the desk, and…

A man is at the desk.

The crunching sound was that of a man running a pen through a notebook.

I felt a sense of discomfort there.

No, there was no sense of discomfort.

The fact that I didn’t feel uncomfortable is what I feel uncomfortable about now.

“T-This is… my room.”

I muttered, looking around.

My room. Not the female version of my room, but the room that the male version of me used.

What the hell is going on here?

I heard an exhale and looked at the man with excitement.

The man who was at his desk put down his pen, crossed his fingers, raised his hands, and stretched.

“I’m in trouble. I can’t believe my grades are so good as a boy…”

The man stopped stretching and picked up a piece of paper on his desk, muttering in annoyance and letting out a sigh.

“I’m glad you left the recipe, even though your cooking skills are much better than mine. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a good cook. Maybe you have much higher specs than me…”

A man staring at a piece of paper and mumbling.

I mean, the way he talks is kind of creepy for a guy. He even refers to himself as “me”.

That’s when it hit me.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I’m in my room, where I was when I was a man. And a man at his desk.

No way, that guy is…

Me as a man?

“Hey.”

I tried to raise my voice, but the man didn’t respond.

“Hey!”

I tried to raise my voice again, but he still didn’t respond.

Is this a dream? Am I dreaming about the time when I was a man?

No, but he called himself “me” earlier.

Am I just imagining the female version of me now, and dreaming about it?

Or is it…

A bang sounded, and I jolted involuntarily.

The lights in the room came on, and the area became brighter.

“Ah, Alice-ch, no, Alice.”

The man turned around in his chair, looked towards the entrance of the room, raised his voice, and smiled.

The man’s face reflected in my vision.

Is that me…?

I don’t know if I look like this.

I can’t remember what I looked like when I was a man.

I didn’t like taking pictures, I didn’t look in the mirror much, and I honestly don’t remember much.

But it’s ordinary, like me.

“What are you smiling at?”

The angry voice that echoed through the room startled me, but also made me feel nostalgic.

When I turned around and looked at the entrance of the room, I saw Alice standing there with an angry expression on her face.

The veins on her temples showed that she was very upset.

“Alice…”

It’s Alice. It’s the one that was born with me and has lived with me.

“Alice!”

I raised my voice, but she didn’t respond.

I’m not sure if this is a dream or not.

“You’re so cute today, Alice.”

I, the man sitting in the chair, spoke up with a smirk on my face.

A very thick blood vessel floated on Alice’s temple, and she stared at me as if she were shooting to death with her teeth clenched.

“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.”

The man sitting in the chair replies to Alice’s angry voice, which is filled with murderous intent.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You’ve never called me cute before! There’s something wrong with you lately! It’s weird!”

She let out an angry scream and was breathing heavily.

“That’s weird. You’ve been coming to onii-chan room a lot lately, haven’t you? Could it be that you’re worried about onii-chan?”

Alice’s face turned bright red as I spoke with a smirk on my face.

“N-n-n-no! I’m not worried about you or anything!”

Alice’s blue eyes shake fiercely, and she makes a trembling voice with a fiery red face.

She’s upset. She’s biting her tongue.

“Onii-chan is always worried about Alice, though. Because I love cute Alice.”

I’m a man who can spit out embarrassing lines without hesitation, and I’m getting embarrassed too.

But now that I’m a woman, I’ve been saying how adorable Alice is these days, so I don’t think I can speak for others.

In the meantime, Alice, who was called cute by me, peeled her eyes white with a fiery red face.

I’m sure you’ll be fine, Alice.

She ran out of the room with a bang.

The man I am, looking at the entrance to the room, chuckles happily.

Hey, I’m a guy. Oh, no, I’m a woman inside, so I’m a woman? But the woman is me… God, it’s so complicated.

I’m a woman now, so he calls me a man.

Hey, man me, you’re a man, so stop giggling. Stop saying that. Be more like a man.

As I was thinking this, I heard a sound running down the hallway. The next thing I knew, Alice came running into the room, holding a large number of stuffed animals in her arms.

“Ugaa!”

Then, howling like a monster, she started throwing the stuffed animal she was holding at me, the man.

The thrown stuffed animal hit me, the man, with a “pokan-pokan” sound.

Alice desperately throws the stuffed animal at me, while I, the man, smiles at her.

As the stuffed animal is gone, Alice is breathing heavily on her shoulders.

The man gazes at her with gentle eyes without saying a word.

“… and yet.”

Alice muttered to herself.

“You’ve never said anything I wanted you to say before!”

Alice shouted, tears spilling from her blue eyes.

“I tried to change my hairstyle, I tried to put some gloss on my hair, but not once did he notice me!　 Even when I misbehaved, onii-chan only forgave me and never once looked at me! He always just smiled and forgave me! That’s it! So why did onii-chan suddenly start looking at me? I don’t need you to change all of a sudden!”

Alice’s words pierced my heart.

“You didn’t look at me.” Those words weighed heavily on both my shoulders.

I thought I was looking at Alice. I thought I had been taking care of Alice for her sake.

But I was just taking care of her.

Maybe Alice was right, and I wasn’t looking at her.

That’s why Alice was always doing bad things to attract my attention. And was she trying to tie me up?

Sorry, I’m sorry, Alice. I’m a really bad big brother, aren’t I?

“Alice loves onii-chan, doesn’t she?”

The voice I heard made me nervous.

Hey, stupid man. Alice is crying. What are saying with such a provocative statement?

As expected, Alice’s eyes widened, and blood vessels rose to her temples with a snap.

“You’ve got to be kidding me――.”

“I like you, Alice. Onii-chan loves you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you for a long time.”

She tried to shout, but lost her timing with my words, and froze with her mouth open.

Man me, I smiled at her and stood up from my chair with a crunching sound. I then slowly walked towards Alice.

“D-Don’t come…”

Alice, with a fiery red face and a trembling voice, retreats, crunching and shaking her knees.

“D-Don’t come here…”

She retreated with a shaky voice, but soon her back hit the wall with a thud and she looked left and right impatiently.

“You don’t have to be afraid. I’m just going to hug you.”

The man who said this with a smile on his face is slowly closing in on Alice.

Hey, stop being an idiot. You’re a man now. Even if it’s you her brother, if a man presses you, you’re bound to be scared. And it’s even scarier when he says, “You don’t have to be afraid,” like a kidnapper always says.

“Hyahhhhhh!”

Alice, who uttered a strange voice with a burning red face, kicked me in the foot.

“Ouch!”

I’m a guy who hurts normally.

“Onii-chan, onii-chan… sthuphid!”

Cried Alice, throwing up like that, and ran out of the room.

“W-Why did she kick me? Did I do something wrong?”

The guy me who said that and scratching his head.

That’s not it! What was wrong with you! From the outside, you looked like a perverted brother trying to attack his sister!

“But it’s fresh. I can’t believe Alice treats me head-on without worrying about me. I’m sure your onii-chan raised you carefully.”

I chuckled at the man who muttered that.

“But as a boy, I’m even more clumsy than you are for being so smart.”

“It’s none of your business,” I inwardly butt into the man’s muttering.

You didn’t have a good relationship with Alice either.

“I love you, sweet Alice. Onee-chan can finally say that from bottom of my heart.”

As I muttered to myself, there was a clatter. And then I heard the sound of running down the hallway.

Could it be that Alice was still there? And did she hear what I just said?

“I’m sure you love your onii-chan. You’re so cute.”

I, a man, chuckled as I stared at the open door.

I told you to stop that giggle.

But――.

I can’t believe that Alice, the one who was trying to annoy me and tie me up, would say that she wanted me to look at her.

“Alice…”

Suddenly, I, a man, raised my voice.

There was a clattering sound, and then the sound of running down the hallway.

She’s still here! Or rather, she’s killed her presence and come back!

I guess Alice thinks I’ve changed and is confused.

But the fact that she said what she felt, I think she’s on the right track.

Even so――.

“Hey, guy me, no, Minazuki Amane. You should act more like a man. Also, stop pressuring Alice. You should be aware that you are a man. Do you understand?”

(TN: The name’s still Minazuki Amane. Just some Kanji changes.)

I told him that, but he didn’t respond to my voice because he was staring at the door and smiling.

I knew it was a dream.

It’s a really weird dream.

◆

“You’re laughing!”

I shouted out, and then I realized that I was right.

The light shining through the curtains and the birds chirping. And me, lying on the bed.

I hurriedly rolled up the futon and made sure I was wearing my pajamas.

It was a dream after all.

But it was a strange dream.

Dreams are usually forgotten when we wake up, but I remember it very clearly.

“Munya?”

I heard a voice, followed by a muffled hug from something.

Alice is hugging me and sleeping peacefully with a happy face.

“Alice…”

I was relieved to see Alice’s happy sleeping face.

“I’ll be watching you properly this time. I’m looking right at you, Alice.”

I kissed her on the cheek.