CH 4

As if I’ve been played, I turned my face back to the front. However, the vivid image was burned into my eyes and wouldn’t go away.

Urushibara san is sitting on my bed. She has taken off her blazer and shirt. Her bra was pastel blue. Her white skin. Her slender shoulders. Her breasts, which are too large to fit her slender body. A slightly visible rib. The vertical line of her stomach. The well-shaped belly-button. Short pleated skirt. Her voluptuous legs stretched out from there.

–Wha, wha, what……!

“What are you doing !?”

“What do you mean, I took off my clothes.”

I was in a panic, but Urushibara san answered in a calm voice.

“Oh, is it too hot? I’ll turn on the air conditioner !”

“I didn’t take off my clothes because it was hot.”

“Then, why?”

I heard a creaking sound from the bedsprings. I sat down on my knees, panicking and stiffening. Then she wrapped her arms around my neck.

“To do this.”

A whisper that tickled my ear. The fresh, sweet smell of blue fruit. Her slightly bright skin. Her provocative eyes.

Even I, who have no experience, can understand. Urushibara san was interested in such a thing.

“W-why….?”

“I wanted to thank you. That’s why.”

In other words, she wanted to thank me with her body.

“You don’t like it?”

I shook my head repeatedly. I had no feelings of disgust. My instincts were giving me the go-ahead.

Urushibara san let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad.”

“But no.”

Her expression of relief turned to surprise.

“Why?”

“Because I say so.”

“So why?”

“We’re not even dating.”

“Is that so?”

–Is that so, she said……., Hey, hey.

Urushibara san tilted her head and looked into my face.

“Is this perhaps your first time?”

Throb ! !

I guess I can’t hide the feeling of virginity even if I try. I was speechless with shock and embarrassment at having been caught on the mark, but Urushibara san didn’t show any signs of mockery, and said with a serious expression on her face, 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take the lead.”

Then she closed her eyes and lifted her chin.

“Kiss me please. Then I…”

If I kissed her, if I did, Urushibara san would lead me just like she said.

It has been a little over a year since I became a high school student. I only had one friend and had given up on the idea of having a girlfriend.

Happy. Excited. But I also felt wary somewhere.

If only that stubborn Rinna would be bold with me…., I’ve fantasized about it many times. But this situation that is happening in front of me right now is too convenient.

Yes, it feels fake. That’s why it feels somewhat empty. I wonder if Urushibara san  is like this to anyone else.

As expected, this is not good.

Even though it’s not good.

I looked at Urushibara san again. Her face was asking me to kiss her. Her bra was pushed up every time she breathed, and her ginormous breasts were about to spill out. Her slim, supple and graceful waist. The soft feel of her ass.

–I want to have sex with her so bad…….!

All of that is available to me just by kissing her.

I put my trembling hands on Urushibara san’s shoulders. Her body twitched.

–But, you know.

I pushed her shoulders and moved her away. Urushibara san opened her eyes.

“Would you prefer to be on the bed?”

“It’s not that. –I Don’t want to.”

“……’Don’t want to’?”

She looked blank, as if the word hadn’t reached her.

“I can’t.”

I don’t understand, I have zero experience, but I have a feeling I’ll regret it if I just let it slide. Urushibara san is a bit dangerous.

Besides, the feeling is not mutual. I’m just satisfying my sexual desires, and Urushibara san is just doing what she thinks will please me.

There may be such a relationship in the world. But I—.

Urushibara san took a deep breath.

“Could it be…”

“Eh, what?”

“Are you someone who doesn’t like girls…?”

“……Eh !? No, no, no ! I’m…..uh, what’s it called? Cis? Cisheteror? That’s it !”

I managed to recall the gender-related terms I’d learned in biology class.

“Cis hetero……? Is that an Italian sculptor or someone?”

“That sounds like it. No wait, Cis means that your gender identity matches your biological sex. Hetero means heterosexual.”

“In other words, senpai—is it correct that you like boobs?”

“Why is it like that?”

Urushibara san lifted her own chest.

“I don’t want to say it myself, but I think my boobs are pretty great. For someone who likes boobs, they wouldn’t leave them be. But senpai, even with these boobs–.”

“Don’t repeat sensitive words in other people’s rooms !”

“I don’t want to force myself on someone who isn’t interested in girls. If you really like boobs, just say you like boobs.”

“Why do you say that ……?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding the word ‘boobs’ until now.”

She saw right through me. I’m too embarrassed to say those kinds of words. I can’t even say bra or panties.

“I think you don’t want to say them because you really don’t like them.”

“That’s not it, but…’

“Then tell me.”

The idea of refusing the girl by saying, “I don’t like girls,” came to mind, but I quickly dismissed it. That’s not sincere.

It seems I have to tell it to make her believe.

‘B-bo……’

“Look, go for it !”

“B-bo, boo……!”

“Just a little bit more !”

I took a deep breath and shouted.

“Boobs ! I love them !”

“Do you want to squeeze them !”

“I want to squeeze them !”

–What the hell am I being made to say…..?

And in a sporty way.

Urushibara san breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad……”

I’m not glad at all. I just hope the neighbors haven’t heard me.

“But then, why can’t you do it?”

Finally, the conversation returned.

“I want to cherish this kind of thing.”

“Cherish?”

“First of all, I want us to have an emotional connection.”

Maybe it’s because I’m a virgin, but I’ve always avoided emotional connections more than anyone else, and I believe that there’s something special about them.

“The connection of emotions……”

She moved her body from my lap and sat upright on the cushion. The sight of a girl in underwear sitting quietly and politely was just a little ludicrous.

Urushibara san muttered.

“He likes girls. He wants to do it, but he can’t. That’s because there’s no emotional connection…….”

After letting her gaze drift for a moment while she’s thinking about something, then she focused on me and said, 

“But our feelings are already connected, right?”

“….Eh?”

Wait, when?