CH 136

* * *

“Is Rixus awake?”

In response to my question, Laura quietly bowed her head and answered.

“Yes, Your Majesty. The doctor told me to inform Your Majesty first.”

The prudent doctor must not have forgotten my order.

I let Laura go and went to the place where Rixus laid alone.

‘He woke up quickly.’

The senator said that he had very good recovery abilities, so I guess that was true.

‘I’m glad he didn’t lie down for long.’

I hurried my steps and headed to Rixus’ bedroom.

‘I can’t believe I’m going to see Rixus with my own two feet…’

As I went, I felt strange.

Until now, for me, Rixus had been my nemesis, who ‘I must be prepared to die to if we meet’.

So this was a situation akin to a rabbit going to meet a leopard with its own feet.

Moreover, the leopard said to the rabbit, ‘We are married’.

It even apologized that it was really sorry for eating it.

The leopard’s teeth still looked so sharp…

As I thought about it, I remembered his condition, he was quite fatally wounded.

It was at the time when my steps were almost as fast as running.

Tak—

Halfway through, someone grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“Berylia.”

“!”

I looked back, and was amazed. It was Rixus.

“How can you…”

‘You’re up standing? Already?’

The tall Rixus looked down at me from above for a while.

In no time, the fiercely narrowed eyes turned into a friendly gaze.

“I was also on my way to see you, this way.”

* * *

Rixus wanted to see Berylia as soon as he opened his eyes.

He couldn’t stand it because he wanted to see her.

In front of such a Rixus, Berylia was making an expression of disbelief.

‘You have already recovered to this extent.’

No matter how Rixus was… It was quite a fatal wound.

He was still alive, he, who did not dodge her attacks, received the ice thorns with his whole body.

Again her heart throbbed.

“…Sorry.”

“……”

“I’m so sorry, I gave you a hard time.”

The tears shed then seemed to be true.

Even that bloody body.

However… 

Soon, a different appearance overlapped.

“Berylia Spinel, you are the worst human being that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”

“……”

“Even if you disappear, no one will be sad.”

The chest that was suddenly pierced by him.

It felt like there was a hole in the soul.

Surprised by him who woke up earlier than expected, and a strangely affectionate heart.

On the contrary, the instinctive fear that came over made her shake.

Suddenly, her fingertips were trembling. It was not long enough for her to forget the trauma of her death.

“…….”

Rixus’ alert gaze looked at Berylia’s expression and trembling fingertips.

And he realized right away.

Now, it was just after she was killed by him in her 7th life.

That fear was not something she could control with her will.

“Sorry.”

Rixus removed his hand and apologized.

He felt as if he was forcibly clutching an injured cat.

Berylia closed her eyes and slowly exhaled.

Then she looked at him with a calm face.

“…For the time being, let’s not apologize to each other.”

“…Why?”

“It looks like there will be a lot of things to apologize for.”

Berylia spoke clearly, as if she was afraid.

“I don’t want to be a woman who trembles like an idiot at the touch of her husband… You know, it’s because I lost my memories”

“…You’re not shivering like an idiot.”

Rixus tried to refute, but Berylia didn’t stop talking.

“It’s not my will to lose my memory.”

Rixus felt pity upon hearing her sober explanation of her own situation that was mixed with ridicule; it quietly burned his stomach.

He tried to say something comforting, but… 

…He quickly had no choice but to bite his lips at what she proceeded to say.

“And now that I know you’ve found out you’ve killed your wife seven times…”

“…….”

“You will continue to feel sorry for me.”

Berylia calmly and rationally arranged the situation.

Now was not the time to focus on emotions.

In order to get through this situation quickly, the first priority was to somehow get her memory back.

“So, don’t make that kind of expression and come in for now. There’s a lot to talk about.”

“…Okay.”

Finally, the two who had lost and gained memories, met each other ‘normally’ for the first time.

Without attacking, without shedding neither tears nor any blood.

…It was really strange to sit like this.

The person who had most of his memories, the man who remembered not only his previous life but also his eighth life.

Rixus.

‘The number one man to be wary of even when I lost my memory… It’s my husband.’

Even so, he was the most helpful in this situation.

‘But I have to be alert. I must be vigilant.’

Berylia was not so dazed as to hastily and simply believe when the man who killed her over and over approached and said he loved her.

As she did when she faced Johann, Berylia tried to unmask the lies from Rixus’ expression, critically examining his reactions.

“Tell me how you got to know all of our past lives.”

“….…”

Rixus looked at her calmly. Then he disclosed what he had done with the holy relic, and said what he had seen… He said it out loud.

Among them, there was some remarkable content of Berylia.

“…Who made me a puppet and was controlling me? Is that true?”

“Yes.”

The blue-purple eyes were unwavering as he answered.

“It’s true.”

Berylia groaned briefly.

Shock and confusion shook her as much as when she first knew Johann’s identity before she lost her memories. She just didn’t know where to pour her boiling rage because she didn’t know who the opponent was this time.

(TL/N: just in case there’s any confusion — it refers to the time she went to Madam Verdi, where she learned of Johann’s involvement in the blue rose and etc, and which she unfortunately can’t remember now… so the Berylia now still doesn’t know Johann’s true identity.)

A new shock that she had never known in her last seven lives hit her head harshly.

At the same time, she asked herself this question.

‘Does the loss of my memory have anything to do with that person?’

Just as she thought so, Rixus voiced out.

“Your memory loss may have something to do with that person.”

“…….”

Berylia looked at Rixus, who had the same thoughts as herself.

“That person is the true protagonist of the oracle about the destruction of the world.”

The real culprit who killed her seven times… 

“I’ll find him somehow…”

Rixus quietly bit his lip.

“I’ll stick him in the bottom of hell forever.”

* * *

Like a little wild beast sniffing with caution, I glanced at Rixus, who was muttering in anger.

‘Can I believe the entire story?’

In my heart, I really wanted to believe it all.

I still couldn’t believe he loved me, but…

Anyway, if that was the case, then Rixus wouldn’t kill me.

I wanted to accept any reality as long as it was one whereby I would not die miserably.

That was how desperate I was.

‘But whenever I trust because I want to believe, I should think of what I’ve been through.’

How many times had I been betrayed by that belief and how many times had I been hurt by fate?

My eyes clouded.

In fact, from Rixus’ point of view, if he decided to kill me, he could do so now.

He didn’t seem to have any motivation to tell such a lie.

‘…But with this memory loss, nothing is certain.’

I had to doubt it until I was relieved.

‘I should be suspicious of this feeling too.’

The heart that grew strangely fond of him.

I must doubt this too.

I didn’t even have a clue as to why this tenderness came about.

My body trembled with fear just sitting together.

With a bitter ambivalence, I tried to estimate Rixus, wandering through the maze.

‘What kind of husband was he?’

I was curious about the way we were like when married. If we were a happy couple, was he sweet to me?

Currently, he seemed to be sitting arrogantly, and I thought he would swing the sword, saying, ‘It was my misunderstanding, you’re it.’

‘There’s no way that cold-hearted person could love anyone.’

It was when I was unable to hide my hostile eyes.

Rixus suddenly asked.

“By the way, what is that ring?”

“…Ah, this one.”

“Show me. It’s the first time I’ve seen this ring.”

In response to his active questions, I unknowingly pulled out the ring and held it out.

It was a ring with a purple egg that Johann had given to me.

I replied without thinking too much.

“That ring, it’s from Archduke Marquis.”

Ppak, gak—

That was then. The ring turned into powder in Rixus’ grasp.

“Oh my, I accidentally put too much strength into my hand.”

…He just lied. I could at least tell right away that it was a lie!

“I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“…It was a gift.”

I didn’t like it very much, but it was still an item I received.

‘Is that kind of scary thing jealousy?’

I couldn’t believe it, but I think he broke it out of jealousy.

If my ‘secret’ relationship with Johann was true and Rixus found out…

I thought Johann would be like that.

“Wear the artifact of Aktoum that I gave you. Don’t be cheap like that.”

“!”

What?

“…You gave me the imperial artifact?”

Rixus replied calmly.

“Yes, take a good look at your belongings.”

In my third life, I was unable to kill Rixus because of that imperial artifact.

The artifact was the same as ‘Life+1’.

I tilted my body, face tightening with agitation.

“Well, if I wear it and we stab each other at the same time.”

“….…”

“Do you mean I’ll live?”

‘While you die.’

I was so excited by the words ‘artifact of the imperial family’ that I didn’t seem to realize what my mouth was sprouting.

Rixus tapped his chin and gazed at me slowly…

He gradually lifted his back away from the backrest and tilted his face forward in the same way.

Facing each other, our gazes intertwined.

Rixus asked, rolling his eyes softly.

“Do you want to?”

“!”

It was then that I realized that I had exposed too much.

“…No? Not at all.”

‘That’s a lie.’ Rixus thought.

Yes, it was clear that she wanted to. It was so blatant that it looked rather cute.

Even though his heart ached because of her even thinking of him like that.

Rixus opened his mouth and spoke sweetly.

“First of all, there is no way I will ever attack you.”

“….…”

“If someone points a sword at you, I’ll block it. If blocking with a sword doesn’t work, I’ll block it with my own body.”

“….…”

“You said you wanted to be a pretty grandmother, so you…”

The fingertips of Rixus approached slowly.

Like someone showing with his whole body that he wouldn’t hurt me, as if he was approaching a wounded little herbivore.

When his fingertips touched, I shuddered and withdrew, bringing my hand to my chest.

Rixus bit his lips slightly at the distant touch.

“And, second.”

“….…”

“I fully understand the feeling of wanting to strike me with a sword, but first of all, let’s get rid of the ‘common enemy’.”

Common enemy…

“You’ll find your memories soon, and we’ll find that son of a gun and destroy him.”

As I listened to the story, my mind became a little disorganized.

If I was made into a puppet, then that person who made me so would be the enemy…

The situation in which the enemy had become the enemy of Rixus felt a little subtle.

To have a ‘common enemy’ with him, my nemesis.

‘The two of us aren’t fighting.’

I drew the line once more against his forward attitude that was like a sweet lover of a real couple.

“…If you’ve seen the past, you know. I don’t have any affection for you now.”

“I know, but we can go back to the way it was.”

“…How?”

Rixus’ hand shifted. To the back of the chair in which I sat.

We faced each other, and I felt as if I was locked up in his arms… 

Rixus’ lips moved wildly.

“I can flirt, very aggressively.”

“!”

“With all my heart and body.”

To that unconventional answer… It was when I, who was momentarily embarrassed, could not find the words to answer.

Tok tok.

After Ires entered the drawing room, he swiftly said,

“There’s going to be a banquet in search of Her Majesty’s ‘memories’. Invitations have been sent to the two of you.”

Rixus questioned, looking a bit displeased.

“Who dared to plan such a thing?”

Instead of answering, Iris held out the invitation to Rixus.

〈I would like to hold a banquet to restore the memories of Her Majesty the Queen.

All distinguished guests are invited to attend.

—Johann Marquis〉

Rixus’ expression was distorted.