CH 154

The deeper the kiss, the hotter the heart felt.

His nose brushing against my neckline, kissing me for a moment and letting out a hot breath… A fleeting kiss was placed on my cheek, which had already become hot.

Under the moonlight faintly pouring through the thin windows.

The two of us were slowly experiencing each other’s body temperature as if we were touching each other for the first time.

I patted the burn marks on the inside of his shirt with a clumsy hand. The feeling of touching it with my fingertips was strangely unfamiliar.

I felt as though the marks were on my own body.

His flesh was as vivid as my own, and his pain was as real as mine.

“Rixus…”

Shortly after I uttered his name sweetly, Rixus tipped his nose forward and kissed me.

As he frantically intertwined our wet tongues with large movements of the jaw muscles, I slowly dropped down the shirt I was taking off.

Tuk—

Under the moonlight, his broad chest, cleaved by muscles, was revealed.

The forearms with strong, blue veins that stretched out like branches… 

His tongue peeked out, licking his lips, and as he swallowed sensually, the muscles of his abdomen, which were thickly stretched across, moved as if alive.

“Ha…”

I let out a shallow breath.

The breath barely scattered between the two wet lips, slightly misaligned as we set them up.

He softly whispered, gently brushing his lips against my reddened, sensitive lips.

“We’ve done everything before. You sure you don’t remember?”

“Ahh…”

And I think my heart would burst even more.

I never imagined kissing him like this. All of this was for the first time…

“It’s okay.”

Rixus tenderly kissed my shaky eyelids, and slowly pulled my dress off my shoulders. His lips breathed a hot breath over my tense skin in the slightly cold weather.

As the silk dress slowly came off, his lips followed.

With a deep kiss.

He nibbed a handful of the soft skin on my collarbone, and then sucked it into his mouth, engraving a slow and thrilling sensation, and afterwards, went down to the stomach.

He rubbed the tip of his feverish nose over my little navel.

“Ha…”

Like an instrument being played, I moaned.

His hand was carefully stroking the bare back exposed by the flowing dress.

Bit by bit, slowly, without surprise. I could feel how much Rixus cared.

My heart was beating fast.

In the face of the thoughtful kisses and fervent affection, I decided to be a little candid.

“Rixus, you know… I’m actually still worried…”

Rixus looked at me with friendly eyes and caressed my cheek.

“I wonder if the oracle is… right, if things turn out like the oracle.”

What would we do?

If I really became the monster that would destroy the world he loved.

The roots of doubts and worries that had been repeated over the course of many lifetimes were not easily pruned.

If the world was really ending in my hands, what would Rixus do?

Even if he looked at me with these eyes now, when that time came…

Like how he had killed me many times, so…

“I’d rather abandon the world.”

“…….”

“When that time comes.”

At Rixus’ resolute words, my eyes quivered.

Rixus was like a man who was created to protect this world.

He was the protagonist of this story.

“Even if everything collapses, all I need is you.”

The little thing in his eyes was love rather than obsession.

It was blind and obedient love that he gave to his wife, who was like his life.

It was amazing.

Even though I was anxious enough for my very soul to shake, his words made everything stable.

I covered his cheeks with my palms… and quietly met those blue-purple eyes and whispered, blushing.

“Rixus, kiss me like you used to.”

“…….”

“Don’t hesitate, just like when we had memories of loving each other… Hug me.”

—Hug me.

The last words were crushed between my lips in Rixus’ deep kiss.

His careful hand penetrated the hem of my skirt without hesitation, astonishing me and making ‘it’ even sweeter.

“Ah…!”

My breathing suddenly slipped. I barely grabbed the thick forearm that made me feel hot, but he wouldn’t stop.

The delicate body trembled.

In the end, fearing a scream would come out, I bit his angled shoulders hard.

At the pleasurable touches, I cried like a cat being scratched.

Fireworks exploded over and over in front of my eyes. It was breathtaking.

“I’ll keep what you tell me to keep, and do what you tell me to do.”

“Ha…!”

“Then don’t worry about it, Berylia.”

The two bodies fit together in an instant. My head tilted and my toes swung.

With choking kisses on the lips, and groaning at the pleasure, Rixus moved me tightly into his arms, deep within his arms, violently mixing his scorching heat with mine.

My mind was blown away and all my thoughts were crushed.

How many times I cried, what words I used to beg with… I couldn’t remember how I hung and kissed.

Standing at the pinnacle of deep pleasure. At some point, I just let my mind go black.

* * *

I was standing in a lavender forest.

It was the beautiful lakeside that I saw with Rixius earlier.

‘Why am I here?’

When I had doubts, a group of twinkling lights gathered around me.

‘Are they spirits?’

[No, I am not a spirit.]

“!”

Did it hear what I said to myself?

“…If you’re not a spirit, what are you?”

[I am you, Berylia.]

‘Is this me?’

Surprised, I wrapped it in the palm of my hand, and it sparkled like a smile.

[To explain a little more, it is closer to your consciousness?]

“So… am I dreaming right now?”

[Yes, that’s right. This is your dream, Berylia.]

“Ah.”

[Look around.]

Then, when I looked around again, I saw a girl who was so familiar.

It was me.

When I was young, holding a handful of lavender.

‘And that’s…’

A few steps away, I saw Rixus, a boy hiding in the grass.

It wasn’t a scene I’d actually seen, but it was a scene I had imagined after hearing it from Rixus.

As if I had become a third person, I peeked into their own time.

‘But why is it in black and white?’

It was like pressing the ‘stop’ button on a black-and-white movie.

It was when I was watching the scene with wonder. the light asked.

[Berylia, how much do you want your memories back?]

“I…”

At that question, my heart filled with earnestness as to how much I wanted to regain my memories.

I wanted to get my memories back.

Really desperately.

I wanted to regain my memories and fill those times that Rixus remembered alone so that he wouldn’t feel lonely.

As she talked to him, she realized.

It must be really lonely for someone you love to forget you, to love alone.

‘He doesn’t show it to me, but… How much is he suffering?’

Even if I didn’t have to go through that pain, I could feel it just by imagining it.

To be forgotten by the one you love overnight.

And I also wanted to get the memory back and recall the conversation I had with Madam Verdi.

‘Johann, I want to remember the man’s weakness.’

I desperately hoped that we could stop his sinful plan that would put everyone in pain.

“I… desperately want it. More than anything else, I desperately want to find my memories.”

[Berylia.]

“Yes?”

The light’s voice was calm, like somehow everything was decided.

[Some people overcome the curse with earnestness.]

I had read it in the original.

The story of a man who broke the chain of curses with such a strong heart and will to overcome.

I felt my heart beating rapidly as I looked at the light.

[Your earnestness has overcome the curse of darkness.]

“…Then, you mean that I can get my memories back?”

[Follow me while checking it yourself.]

I followed the halo and took my steps.

Then something amazing happened.

The moment I stepped forward,

As if paint had been spilled on a girl and a boy who had stopped in black and white, vivid colors were applied and they began to move with life.

I was overwhelmed by the amazing sight.

An exclamation came out of nowhere.

‘Ah… It’s like a fairy tale book.’

At the same time, as if seeping in, the memories of those days that I had lost were overlaid in my mind like a storm.

“!”

The time I spent in the hut with Rixus.

My heart had always wanted to return to the boy who promised to be my home.

Memories that were hidden like precious jewels and pulled out from time to time when I was having a hard time… 

Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes.

‘Ah, faster. I want to remember everything.’

The more I walked through the lavender forest, the more diligently the surrounding environment changed.

Krish, krish.

With every step I took, my memories that had been dead in achromatic colors came back to life with new colors.

“I’m here to propose to you, Berylia Spinel.”

I saw Rixus kissing my feet.

Oh, how suspicious I was of Rixus back then.

I didn’t even know that he came because he loved me so passionately… 

Little did I know that the boy from the past had come to keep his promise.

“Rixus? Here… What’s going on? You can’t come here.”

“I miss you.”

One day, in the Imperial Palace library, I had a secret meeting with him, who was wearing the invisibility cloak.

I didn’t know how happy I actually was in my heart when he suddenly came.

That day, I was upset because I had wanted to see him all day.

“…So pretty. I’ve never seen anything so pretty in my life.”

“Me too.”

Memories of the beautiful fireworks festival that lit up the night sky.

Rixus and I were kissing each other lovingly.

Excitement, surprise, and heartbreaking tenderness rose all at once, and I let out a slow breath.

Oh I… I forgot everything.

How we fell in love.

…How loved I was, and how passionately I loved him.

How force majeure were all those processes.

It felt like my heart was about to explode as I took each step.

Soon I reached the place where I wrote in my notebook.

The place I went to after I lost my memory.

I looked back at the words written in the notebook.

‘I hope it remains a happy memory.’

“Our little wedding.”

“!”

“Because it wasn’t done right that day. Let’s do it again here, Candy.”

I grabbed my chest and burst into tears.

“I didn’t know there could be so many tears. The infamous Queen of Spinel.”

On the cheeks of Rixus… I brought my trembling fingertips forward.

But ‘he’ was not touched.

Rixus, how did you say it was okay?

To the me who forgot all these memories of love and was wary of and hating you,

How could you tell me it was okay…?

‘I miss you so much.’

‘I want to say I’m sorry for forgetting everything and say I love you.’

I couldn’t see properly as my vision was blurred with tears, so I said anxiously.

“I miss you so much, Rixus…”

The lights replied.

[Then let’s meet.]

Soon, the swarm of bright lights grew bigger and bigger and covered the entire field of vision.

Waking up from the dream only took a second.

When I opened my eyes…

…Rixus’ blue-purple eyes were visible.

“You’re up?”

He was hugging me while I was sleeping.

“Rixus…”

Tears began to flow nonstop from my eyes.

“All my memories are back.”

I said, earnestly digging into his warm arms.

“Sorry, so sorry…….”