CH 22

Chapter 22 - Why don't I just be myself?

Qin Yi brought Qin Jun to the door to apologize.

Ever since he started mining energy mines and used money to make connections, he has never experienced this kind of humility and stubbornness.

Tang family...

A twisted color appeared on Qin Yi's face for a moment, but the next second he concealed the color of resentment, and whispered to Qin Jun: “Behave better for me this time, don't put on a stinky face.”

Qin Jun didn't have the good mentality that his father had. In Qin Yi's gloomy eyes, Qin Jun, who had been beaten up when he came home, only had a faint pain in his back. In actuality, Qin Jun grinned and squeezed out a smile, but muttered in his heart that his father turned his face faster than a book.

It was really unlucky. He just cursed Tang Bai casually. As a result, he was reviewed by the whole school in public, and his father had to come to the Tang family’s door to apologize, making him innocent inside and outside.

Carrying the Pallu jewelry specially prepared for Tang Bai, Qin Jun relieved himself. Anyway, the thing he worries about most has been resolved, hasn't it?

Thinking of this, the sword of Damocles that had been hanging invisibly above his head disappeared out of thin air, making him relaxed.

What does it matter to pretend to be a grandson? He bowed his head for a while, and Tang Bai's little bitch is now posing arrogantly, and he won't be allowed to sleep by them?

Qin Yi rang the doorbell and listened to the artificial intelligence on the door yelling: “No entry is allowed without an appointment! No entry is allowed!”

Qin Yi: “......”

Qin Yi squeezed out a smile at the flashing red camera: “Old Tang, Mrs. Tang, I am Qin Yi from the Qin family. Today I came to take my unsatisfactory son to apologize to Young Master Tang.”

Qin Jun, who couldn't live up to it, also lost his smile.

The smiley faces of the father and the son were cast on the light screen, and Tang Bai couldn't help muttering after taking a look at it, “Hey——it turns out Qin Jun is annoying because it runs in the family.”

Grandpa Tang looked at Tang Bai disapprovingly: “You can say this in front of us, but when they come in, you aren’t allowed to say it in person. How can our family’s omega speak like this?”

“And at the admission ceremony of the Federal Military Academy a few days ago, you talked…” Grandpa Tang didn't know how to describe it. He grabbed his beard and shook his head and said in pain, “Too unreserved! It was broadcasted live on the whole network, and I watched you as if you were getting married.”

Tang Bai picked up the small comb he carried with him, combed the wrinkled beard of Grandpa Tang carefully, and said softly, “Grandpa, don't you know that there are a lot of alphas in the confession wall of the Federal Military Academy confessing my cuteness? Don’t worry about whether I’m going to marry all the time~”

Grandpa Tang was soft against Tang Bai, he looked away reluctantly, and opened up his light brain to let the two people at the door in.

As soon as Qin Yi walked in with the gift, he said: “The smell in this room is so fragrant! What kind of delicacies and seafood does Director Tang eat at home? I really envy Mrs. Tang's craftsmanship!”

Mother Tang put down the spoon restrainedly, “This is made by our Tangtang.”

Qin Yi repeatedly praised: “Then, Young Master Tang must have inherited Mrs. Tang's good craftsmanship. My wife can say that Mrs. Tang's craftsmanship is one of a kind. Unexpectedly, Mrs. Tang is also very good at cooking. Whoever marries Young Master Tang will be really blessed!”

When Tang Bai listened to Qin Jun's rainbow fart expressionlessly, his heart didn’t fluctuate and he even wanted to laugh.

Really, this group of elders and straight men are unable to say anything without mentioning marriage, as if the worth of an omega is inseparable from marriage.

“These biscuits were made by my wife. She said that the person who makes the best biscuits is Mrs. Tang.” Qin Yi smiled humbly: “I really hope that my wife will have the opportunity to learn from Mrs. Tang, whether it’s cooking or parenting experience.”

Mother Tang and Yan Yue said, “Learning is unnecessary, I don't have the time and energy to teach others.”

Qin Jun got stuck for a moment. All these years, he had been carrying people in a sedan chair. As long as he was willing to bow his head, others would let him go down the steps. How can there be someone like Tang Mu who’s so gentle and courteous, but still doesn’t know when to get out of the way?

She’s just a well-married omega. After all these years of being the mistress of the Tang family, she really thinks that she’s something worthy of speaking back.

Qin Yi was full of resentment, and the surface did not leak: “Mrs. Tang is right. Time is money for us. I didn't think about it properly. There’s no reason to let you teach people casually.”

Mother Tang whispered: “No, I mean that teaching people is just not an omega thing. One’s father has an indispensable responsibility in the growth of their child. It’s better to ask for yourself. As an alpha father, Mr. Qin should lead by example, teach your children what responsibilities and manners are, respect and understanding, this is a good source of family education.”

Tang Bai has never heard something like this before, and almost laughed out a pig cry when he heard his mother’s words.

The mother and the son looked at each other ingeniously, and the good family genes flowed and passed on.

Qin Yi couldn't hold his head up in front of Mother Tang, so he had to smile stiffly: “Mrs. Tang is right, it’s my fault for not teaching my son correctly.” What does it mean to lead by example? This is to say that he isn’t responsible for being a father. He ruined his son's education because he didn't take responsibility and didn't know how to respect and understand an omega!

Qin Yi slapped Qin Jun's back hard, with a stomach full of fire he said: “Smelly boy, hurry up and apologize!” It's all this idiot’s fault! Making him so embarrassed!

Qin Jun began staggering from the slap, bent down in pain, and repeated the part of bowing and apologizing again. He could imagine Tang Bai's disdainful face.

Recalling the last humiliating time where he had to bow and apologize in front of the entire school and even the entire interstellar net, new hatred and old hatreds rushed into his heart. The humiliation and blood rushed to the top of his head. He gruffly said: “Tang Bai, I'm sorry, I was wrong.”

Tang Bai raised his little hand unenthusiastically, beckoning to Qin Jun like a puppy, and sweetly said: “You are bowing in the wrong direction, I am here~”

Qin Jun: “.....”

Qin Jun was about to bear the humiliation and change directions and bow again. But at this moment, Snowball who was squatting near Qin Jun slowly stood up and walked in the direction of the beckoning Tang Bai.

When Qin Jun lowered his head, he happened to meet the dog’s figure.

Qin Jun: “............”

Qin Jun's teeth almost broke.

Snowball glanced at this strange visitor, then retracted his gaze in disgust, and jumped onto Mother Tang's lap.

Mother Tang stroked Snowball without a second thought and said indifferently: “My child has always been spoiled, and since childhood, we haven’t been willing to say anything serious. But if he really is bullied outside, we will not be merciless.”

Snowball followed with a loud “Wuuu”, and Mother Tang said with a light smile: “It seems that dogs can understand these words.”

Father Qin immediately hit Qin Jun hard, “Dog, do you understand?!”

Qin Jun: “.......”

Qin Jun: “Understood…”

Father Qin lost his smile: “If this stinky boy dares to provoke Young Master Tang again, I promise to throw him so he can crawl far away. In this way, he won't interfere with the eyes of your family’s omega.”

Mother Tang glanced at Qin Jun and said softly, “Every omega is the darling of their parents, and I hope Young Master Qin will not provoke innocent omegas in the future.”

Qin Yi even said that he must be certain. Seeing that he had passed Tang's mother test with great difficulty, he looked at Grandpa Tang hesitantly.

After all, an omega is an omega. Only when the Tang family’s top Alpha personally says that he (QY) won’t be held accountable for this kind of thing, can Qin Yi pull his heart out from his stomach.

“Take the energy bars back.” Grandpa Tang looked at the box of energy bars Qin Jun had brought, and blankly refused.

Qin Yi was anxious when he heard the words. The biggest goal of this trip was Grandpa Tang. If Grandpa Tang didn't accept the apology, his trip would be in vain.

“Old Tang, I heard that the Weapons Research Institute needs high-quality energy bars, these are all selected by me personally, the quality is much better than the goods on the market!” He opened the lid, and a box of sparkling energy bars blinded Tang Bai's eyes.

But when he thought that the Qin family made a fortune by squeezing people from the slums, Tang Bai felt that these white and flawless energy spars were stained with blood.

Grandpa Tang didn’t even look at the box of premium energy spars, which were priceless and couldn’t be found on the market. He slowly said, “Patriarch Qin doesn’t need to be so excited. The quarrel between children will not affect business because of this.”

Qin Yi expressed joy and listened to Grandpa Tang continuing: “The premise is that you can really start to reflect on this matter, and don't do this kind of thing anymore.”

The weather-beaten face was calm and tranquil, just like a good-speaking grandfather next door, but Qin Yi felt unspeakable pressure, and to say that old people are weak! At this moment, he felt a sense of panic that was seen through by the old man in front of him and moved behind his back. All his hands and feet twitched, whether it's buying an omega, finding someone to inquire about the scarce materials of the Weapons Research Institute, or even the cautious thinking about the Tang Family's resentment in his stomach, there was nowhere to hide!

A cold sweat suddenly broke out on his forehead, and Qin Yi unconsciously put on a flattering tone and said: “Old Tang, this energy bar is supposed to be the tuition for this kid in my family…”

“Take it back.”

Father Qin's smile stiffened, but only for an instant, he quickly returned to the state of nodding and bowing. Before leaving, he was thankful and grateful before he dragged Qin Jun away.

Tang Bai glanced at the latest Pallu brooch left by the Qin family’s patriarch and his son on the table, “Hey, they chose one from the blind spot of my aesthetic.”

Mother Tang nodded: “At first glance, it’s like a straight alpha’s aesthetics.”

Grandpa Tang who thought the style was pretty good: “....”

After the disgusting apology ceremony, Tang Bai picked up a quail egg from the Buddha jumping over the wall and placed it in the dog bowl, smiling and saying to the Snowball: “The cooperation just now was really good, my brother doesn't usually hurt you for nothing!”

Snowball barked twice happily.

Tang Bai changed into his public chopsticks and happily served Mother Tang and Grandfather Tang. “And my dearest mother and grandfather, the words were so good, I still have to learn more from you!”

“Just your mouth is too poor.” Tang Mu said.

“Yes, yes, yes, my mouth is poor. But Qin Jun is still crooked! Did you not see how that Qin Jun still pursed his lips when apologizing? And the apology wasn’t sincere.” Tang Bai pursed his lips like Qin Ju and was flicked by Mother Tang.

“Don't learn poorly.”

Tang Bai covered his forehead and shouted at Grandpa Tang, “Grandpa~!”

Grandpa Tang nodded solemnly: “Don't purse your lips, omegas should act properly.”

Here it comes again.

Tang Bai stuck his tongue out at Snowball, and the bitter Snowball followed his actions sillily.

Seeing Tang Bai's heartless look, Grandpa Tang sighed in his heart. He hesitated for a moment and still said: “Tangtang, you can leave the matter with Qin Jun alone. Qin Yi asked someone to buy the victim and pay for their injuries.”

Tang Bai, who was playing with Snowball, was stunned. Tang Bai raised his head, his eyes widened, and repeated: “Qin Yi bought the victim?”

Regarding Qin’s rape/violence towards that omega, Tang Bai never contacted the omega previously because he didn't want to disturb the other’s life.

Whether or not to use rape/violence charges to bring down Qin Jun was something Tang Bai had been struggling with for a long time.

If he really wanted to sue Qin Jun, this would inevitably expose the personal information of that omega. As an omega himself, Tang Bai knows better than anyone else that omegas value ​​chastity.

He also knows better than anyone else how fragile omega's psychological endurance is.

Omegas are violated frequently in this society. Those omegas have not been tortured to death by rapists, but can't stand the strange looks around them and choose to commit suicide.

As the culprit, the Qin family had the face to bother himself, and the omega... was really bought.

“Why…” The amber eyes flashed in confusion, and he murmured: “Is it because of the money? If the Qin family uses money to buy their silence, I’ll pay twice as much.”

“Tangtang, it's not a question of money.” Grandpa Tang said concisely: “That omega has a marriage partner, and the other party doesn't know that he has been raped/violated.”

Tang Bai's fingers twitched nervously. He still remembered the omega being dragged away from the video in the collapsed look, the heart-piercing cry for help, the swollen cheeks, and the last desperate gaze.

Grandpa Tang sighed and said earnestly: “No alpha can accept that his wife has been tainted.”

Tainted.

The atrocities that are enough to destroy an omegas life are just a symbol of unclean defilement in an alpha's mouth.

Unclean, tainted.

Why is no one saying that Qin Jun is unclean? Why is no one saying that Qin Jun is terribly dirty? Why is no one saying that an alpha like Qin Jun can’t find a partner?

“Now the omega has finally found an alpha that can marry him, he’s ready to step out of the shadows and start a new life. If this incident is exposed, not only will the alpha of his blind date not want him, but other alphas around him will also look down on him.”

“As far as I know, the compensation offered by the Qin family is not low, and it’s not surprising that he compromised…”

Why?

Why is it clear that Qin Jun made a mistake, but the victim has to be blamed?

Why is it that Qin Jun made a mistake, but he doesn't need to be punished?

Why is it clear that Qin Jun made a mistake, but he can still live well in this world?

Why?

Tang Bai thought quietly in his heart, he suddenly felt that everywhere around him became quiet, and fishy seawater enveloped him as if he was about to sink into the boundless dark bottom of the sea.

The air was so thin and the seawater was so cold, making it difficult for him to even breathe. He tried to speak, but the moment he opened his mouth, countless amounts of salty seawater poured in. It was so cold and disgusting. He didn’t know much of the seawater was washed through the dirty body of alphas, and he didn’t know how much of the seawater gathered were omegas tears, it poured into his body silently, spreading from his trachea, cochlea, and esophagus to his stomach.

Tang Bai said with a pale face, “But it's not his fault.”

Yeah, it's not his fault...

What did he do wrong?

What did he do wrong?

“He didn't protect his virginity. It was his fault. And this incident has already happened. It doesn't matter who’s right or who’s wrong. If he’s ruined, he’ll have to accept strange looks.” Grandpa Tang didn't want to look at him. The truth about everything came out, but when he thought of Tang Bai going to the slum with an alpha he just met, he couldn’t help saying: “As an omega, you must protect yourself, don’t trust others, and don’t go where you shouldn’t go. If you stay at home honestly and only go out with your family, this kind of thing will never happen…”

I have heard similar words ringing in my ears countless times. Whenever I see such news and hear such tragedies, there are visible and invisible people everywhere who accuse, discipline, and spurn.

Voices that exist in all directions, voices that can't escape even if you cover your ears, voices that are accustomed to it and even agree with it in the end.

The suffocating seawater enveloped him like an invisible membrane. He listened to his grandpa silently. He should have been silent in the beginning, just like he has calmly compromised countless times.

He has heard countless things like this in the past. There are too many of these kinds of things. The victimized omegas are too pitiful. It’s even more miserable than the one that Qin Jun raped/violated had his head cut off by a knife, the skin was engraved with insulting words such as “stray”...

Some even died after being tortured, were thrown into the wild, sunk into the bottom of a lake, or even thrown on the road like garbage.

At this time, the school will tell them that it’s dangerous outside of school and you shouldn’t leave school, and your family will tell you that it’s dangerous outside of home and you shouldn’t leave home.

Therefore, the living space of omegas are getting smaller bit by bit, and they shrink like a quail in the circle drawn by society for them.

Tang Bai stood in the circle obediently. If there were no accidents, he would stay in this circle until he was old. Born in the circle, reproduced in the circle, and died in the circle.

This is an omega...

The life of a pig.

Yes, I was nurtured from birth and grew up in accordance with the strict requirements of society. Every day I only know how to eat, drink and play. I have no ideals. When I grow up I’ll sell my body to an alpha, and then I’ll contribute my everything to the fertility rate of society.

Every omega is encouraged to have more children. Having ten children is honored as being a heroic mother. The more you give birth, the more glorious you are. From the moment they get married, most omegas keep getting pregnant and giving birth to children.

Tang Bai’s mother was in poor health and there was a problem with her uterus. Giving birth to Tang Bai had already spent half of her life, and another pregnancy might kill her. Therefore, the omega who gave birth to Tang Bai was no longer pregnant. Father Tang already did a ligation for his wife, but Mother Tang has always felt guilty. She blames herself for not giving birth to an alpha for the Tang family, so she wants Tang Bai to give birth to an alpha surnamed Tang.

His mother says that the best life for an omega is to marry a good alpha and have a lot of children.

His father says that an omega must learn to read an alpha and distinguish who’s a good alpha so that it won’t be unfair to others.

His grandpa says that to be a virtuous and generous omega, one must show filial piety to their parents, love their children, and be considerate to their husband.

Countless people are telling Tang Bai how to be a good omega, telling Tang Bai that only by doing this can he be happy.

Originally... Tang Bai should have been silent like this for the rest of his life since this society has always been like this, and omegas have always been like this.

But ah, why, why is the Xie Ruheng from the novel appearing in his mind at this moment?

The black-haired and dark-eyed omega jumped out with armor. His armor was full of gunpowder and blood. His face was pale, but his eyes were surprisingly bright.

He returned bloody and brought victory to the Federation again, but he learned that the brother of one of his soldiers, his omega brother, was raped/violated by the nobles.

The omega didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to tell anyone. He just wanted to die quietly. The omega cried and begged him not to make this matter a big deal. He said that the nobleman was powerful and wouldn’t get a substantive punishment. He was a defiled person, not worthy of dirtying the future of the marshal.

So Xie Ruheng walked out calmly, his face still pale, his palms trembling slightly when his exhausted body held his sword.

Holding his sword, he walked to the noble team who congratulated him and walked to the nobleman who had raped/violated his family member.

The brilliant sunlight penetrated the clouds and gathered into countless beams of light, running through this filthy world.

Xie Ruheng raised his sword and pierced the chest cavity of the nobleman expressionlessly. The sharp blade pierced layer after layer of expensive and gorgeous clothing, pierced the skin of wine and meat, and pierced the heart surrounded by ribs——

The blood spurted out suddenly, and a bright red blood mist appeared in the bright sunlight, splashing onto Xie Ruheng's pale face.

Crossing time and space, the dark phoenix eyes seemed to stare at Tang Bai silently.

There are some things that you can’t go deep into, and you can’t think about it. If he doesn’t look at anything, listen, or think about it. Then maybe he wouldn’t find that a barrier was always covering him, as long as he stretches out his hand, he can pierce through the illusion.

With amber eyes looking at his grandpa who was still preaching and his mother who carelessly played with some flowers, Tang Bai suddenly became a little out of breath. The seawater that filled his stomach seemed to burn, changing from cold water to burning rage. It was like he was surrounded in fire, burning in pain.

He seems to finally understand why Xie Ruheng in the book is so angry. This is the anger of hatred, the indisputable anger, the anger of changing the world…

In this ignorant world full of prejudice, there must always be a pioneer who will stand up and be the only light.

But just a little light isn’t enough, only that little light can’t illuminate the darkness of this world.

From ancient times to the present, the revolution of life has needed to have bloody victims. This was the case when the Federation was separated from the rule of the empire, and so should the AO equal rights struggle.

It’s not enough to have a martyr. There needs to be a second, a third... It needs more people to sacrifice, to sacrifice one after another, to burn life, to light up the darkness. Even if everyone is just a trivial firework, one day, a single spark will start a prairie fire.

For so many years, for so many years, he has been living according to the eyes of others. He pretended to be deaf and dumb, he deceived himself and others, his appearance was bright and beautiful, but only Tang Bai knew that he was an empty shell, in order to be a good omega in the traditional sense, he gave up what he loved most.

He still remembers how his grandfather taught him when he was a child, and when he solved a problem, how the whole family would think of him——

It was proud, admiring, pleased, looking like a gleaming gem.

Grandpa would use a bragging tone to introduce to his old friends: “My grandson, the prodigy of weapon manufacturer, follow me.”

Such a proud and energetic look, but then, when he differentiated at the age of six, he never saw that expression on his grandfather’s face again.

A fierce quarrel broke out at home that day. Grandpa shut himself in the house and stayed alone for a day and night. After he came out, everything changed.

He could no longer learn mechanics from his grandfather, he could no longer own mecha toys, he could no longer bathe in that proud and satisfied gaze.

And all this is only because... he’s an omega.

He has been trying to convince himself, suppress himself, telling himself that this kind of life was also happy and carefree by eating, drinking, and having fun. In the future, he will marry a good alpha and have a bunch of children. There’s no need to struggle and work hard. This is the life that many people dream of…

But is this the life he wants?

Marrying someone who’s almost the same as Gu Tunan. Maybe that alpha won't have Gu Tunan's excellent alpha genes and he’ll have to keep giving birth to children.

Tang Bai could hypnotize himself in the past, that all omegas are this way, it has always been like this, everyone is like this.

But ah...

Xie Ruheng isn’t the same.

He lived so recklessly, savagely, and radiantly. The dazzling light was the existence for which he shed tears.

If this light wasn’t so bright, he might not have seen his (TB) own cowardice. He was as a raised canary, accustomed to the stable life of rich clothes and food, uncomfortable with the status quo, but afraid of taking risks.

He always retreats like this, cowardly, hypocritical, and stupid. If Xie Ruheng hadn't appeared, he might have been trapped in this delicate cage for the rest of his life.

But Xie Ruheng appeared.

Xie Ruheng is the biggest variable in his life, like a star thrown into stagnant water, ripples circle after circle, circle after circle, sparkling stars illuminating through the deep muddy waters.

Just as Xie Ruheng had to stretch out from the painful huddling, people had to break free from the unthinking ignorance. This would be truly living.

Xie Ruheng, who pierced through his enemy with a sword, once again appeared in Tang Bai's mind. His face was red blood, so red that it was like a fire that never extinguished. In the shadow of the sword, the dark phoenix eyes looked at him silently——

If this society had a barrier blocking everything, then pierce it with a sword.

If you know that you’re unwilling, if you know that you’ll regret it in the future, if everything is too late, why not try?

If everyone lives in a book and has their own plotline, then why do we have to follow the expectations of others to follow the plot? This is obviously my life. All the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs, can be written by myself ——As long as I am willing to bear the price for it.

If I am willing to give everything for it, then I... Why don't I just be myself?

Tang Bai raised his head, he seemed to hear the sound of the flames reigniting buried in his heart. The faint flower seedlings were burning in the endless seawater, burning, burning, it could be extinguished at any time, burning him all over. The pain made his nose sore. He had to use all his strength to protect the small flame from being extinguished. For this reason, he was bound to endure the pain of being licked by the flames.

“Grandpa, Mom, if I was raped by Qin Jun, would you give me a slap?”

Mother Tang: “He dares!!!”

Grandpa Tang frowned, “Why should I hit you?”

“Why wouldn't you beat me? I didn't protect my virginity. If I stay at home for the rest of my life, how could I be violated?”

Mother Tang noticed the seemingly soft but aggressive spirit between the lines of Tang Bai’s words, she subconsciously looked at Grandpa Tang and saw Grandpa Tang's expression slightly condensed.

“It's not right. Even if some omegas in the slums stay at home, there will be gangsters breaking in. As long as they have evil in their hearts, no matter where you are, there’s nowhere to escape.”

Tang Bai whispered: “Grandpa, Mom, you say that omegas must protect themselves, but why should everyone make omegas protect themselves?”

“Do those alphas have no parents? Didn't anyone tell them not to violate omegas?”

“The physical qualities of omegas and alphas are worlds apart. It’s difficult for us to resist and escape when encountering violence. Self-defense techniques? Most self-defense techniques are useless in the face of absolute strength suppression. Anti-wolf spray? It takes time for this kind of thing to get taken out of one’s bag, and we may not be able to aim at the abuser’s face in a hurry.”

Tang Bai took the portable energy gun from his waist, “Only this kind of weapon can cause damage to an alpha.”

“But ordinary omegas don't have access to such weapons at all, do they?”

He placed the gun quietly on the table. It was a gun studded with diamonds. It was so gorgeous that it was ridiculous. Grandpa Tang took a breath, staring shocked at Tang Bai whose eyes were soaked in tears.

There was clearly a vast ocean surging in Tang Bai's heart, but only two lines of clear tears flowed from his eyes.

“What they can come into contact with is the theory of chastity, which is a secondary injury from this society. Their parents will blame them for their weak self-protection abilities, but they have never thought about whether they should teach their omega children what to do in this situation. Their husbands will only point their fingers at their wives, but they don’t dare to judge their sinful kind!” Tang Bai suddenly raised his voice, his face flushed, his eyes flushed, and his eyes stared at his grandfather and mother.

No one replied.

The living room was silent, only Tang Bai's soft voice suddenly lowered: “It's okay, I'll do it.”

In front of Grandpa Tang, Tang Bai walked to the weapon research room dedicated to Grandpa Tang. He stood at the door and reached out to touch the code lock. When he was about to enter the code, his delicate hand hesitated in mid-air as if he were afraid.

For a while, Tang Bai’s trembling fingers slowly entered the string of numbers he remembered from his childhood.

Then......

The door opened.

T/N: holy shit… This chapter really had my heart pounding, my eyes were watery throughout proofreading this. To be honest, as a woman myself, this hit very close to home. Women feel virtually unsafe in every instance of their life; walking home at night, walking down a street, getting gas, at their school, at their home, at their workplace, anywhere... Yet, men, the people who cause this discomfort continue to excuse their atrocities with bull shit like “she was asking for it” or “she was dressed like that”, no, fuck no. (not all men, don’t get offended prudes.) I’m really glad that I have the opportunity to read this and help other people read this. Tang Bai is fucking amazing and I’m so proud of him.

Humility - a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

Sword of Damocles -  if you say that someone has the Sword of Damocles hanging over their head, you mean that they are in a situation in which something very bad could happen to them at any time.

Sedan chair - an enclosed chair for conveying one person, carried between horizontal poles by two or more porters. It was used to carry concubines, emperors, empresses, etc. He’s saying that he’s been living life by flattering, fawning over, or eagerly agreeing with someone, especially a person of higher authority as a means of currying favor.

Ingenuously - in an honest, sincere, and trusting way, sometimes in a way that seems silly

Tranquil - free from disturbance; calm.

Public chopsticks - in Chinese culture there are personal and public chopsticks. Personal chopsticks are used purely on the food you have already dished up for yourself, and public chopsticks are used for dishing up. It’s just that way to keep everything sanitary.

Spurn - reject with disdain or contempt.

Ligation - the surgical procedure of closing off a blood vessel or other duct or tube in the body by means of a ligature or clip.