CH 68

Chapter 68: Alliance (11)

"...Asena, even if you block his way to lead to another woman, it doesn't mean it will lead to you."

Liana stood between the door and Asena. She gently began to point out the facts.

".....Yes. It's shocking that you love Cayden, but now I believe it. Since you know it's an abnormal love, there's no need for me to awaken you. However, you are not controlling your heart that is rushing ahead; you're disregarding the proper procedures of love."

"....... "

"By getting rid of the women around Cayden, it doesn't mean you can enter his heart. And even if you succeeded somehow, that’s not love."

Asena remained silent, only listening to her grandmother's words. Of course, she also struggled to find words to reply.

"Have you confessed your feelings? Does your brother see you as a woman? Is there a mutual understanding between your hearts?"

"....."

"You haven't even started anything that forms the basis of love. I'm not here to break your already-formed relationship, but it's amusing how it sounds like I'm the one who did something wrong. Isn't it just your one-sided affection?"

"...I had planned to talk to Oppa slowly. That's why I confided in you about my feelings, Grandma. Even though nothing happened between me and Oppa, I had a conversation with you. Right after that, you engaged Oppa with another woman named Judy, which not only tramples on my feelings but also seems like an attempt to obstruct the relationship between me and him."

"Of course. It's not something I can just let go of."

"Then where does it become amusing for you? You clearly knew that I would be angry, yet you gave him to another woman...! Why did I confess my feelings to you, Grandma? You're not someone who doesn't understand my intention of not giving Oppa to another woman!"

"I only eased the potential pain between you and Cayden."

Asena let out a bitter laugh and asked Liana. 

"...How does that ease my pain? Just the thought of Oppa holding another woman's hand feels like my insides are being twisted. But marriage...if you crush my heart to pieces, how does that ease my pain?"

"That's why I'm saying you're still mistaken, Asena."

"What?"

"In my opinion, Cayden doesn't reciprocate your feelings."

"......"

Fury swelled in Asena's eyes. Her fists clenched tightly, and her jaw tensed. The aura she emitted became sharper and more fierce.

Indeed, Asena was worried about Cayden rejecting her. However, that concern was solely her own. She didn't want anyone else, not even her grandmother, to interfere and say it.

"If Cayden rejects you, how would you deal with the pain both of you will feel? You would have challenged a love that cannot be realized, and your heart would break. Cayden will also be confused, having heard your feelings. Isn't it a good thing that this grandmother prevented that? Isn't it like preventing something that would have been a mistake?"

"Tell me honestly, Grandma. It's not because you were afraid of us getting hurt that you engaged him with Judy. You were afraid of the situation where Oppa and I would be together."

"......Yes, that's also one of the reasons."

Liana didn't try to disguise herself. By wholeheartedly acknowledging everything Asena said, she erased every point that Asena could cling to.

"Grandma. Still!! You didn’t even tell me why it is wrong. Why can’t I be with him when it's not about family or blood? What's the reason?"

"......"

"Are you afraid of others' judgment?"

"...It's just an ethical issue. How...I don’t understand how you don’t get it while speaking those words yourself..."

Faint unease crossed Liana's face and passed by.

"...He's your brother... Asena. He's your brother... Isn't it a family relationship… isn't it Incest…?"

"We are not blood-related, so how can it be?"

Their conversation continued in a repetitive cycle.

Then, Asena let out a sigh and spoke to Liana.

"...And even if it is, I don't care."

"What?"

"All these procedures are just to alleviate Oppa’s burden. I don't pay much attention to them."

"Asena..."

"Even if Oppa was a slave. Even if he was truly my blood relative. Even if my feelings make him uncomfortable. I just want him to be mine."

The more she spoke, the more obvious Asena's love appeared, and the more serious the problem seemed to Liana.

Once, she thought it might be a fleeting delusion. Even though Asena clearly hadn't explained herself, Liana thought that her love for him might not be as deep and could be temporary, like the heat of summer.

But the more she listened, the more she realized that it wasn't the case.

Liana's mask was the first to break. As much as she loved Asena and Cayden, she couldn't stop the rush of overwhelming emotions.

"...Please, stop it. Give up now... Your brother has already found his partner. It's too late..."

"It’s not too late. I will cancel this marriage."

"And can you explain the reason to your brother for that?"

"..."

"Can you tell him that you canceled his marriage with Judy because you love him?"

Liana may not have known, but this action was enough to stop Asena's thinking process.

If Asena really wanted to cancel the marriage, there was no other way but to confess her feelings.

With so many things she had done wrong to him before, it had become too difficult for her to just do things as she pleased; She couldn't just give petty excuses and reasons for her actions anymore. She understood it would be a really big problem if she messed up again this time.

Now that even making a small mistake was risky, she came to realize that it was impossible to cancel the marriage without expressing her true feelings.

But that didn't mean she would give up.

Liana slowly raised her head and tried to calm Asena down.

"...It's already over, Asena. It ends here. The feelings you had for Cayden will be buried in this room. Now you have to start anew-"

"-M-my foundation."

Asena’s voice trembled for the first time. At the moment when she had to reveal her inner emotions, she couldn't coldly maintain her mask.

"...Oppa is my foundation. Without him... I can't move forward."

"......"

A momentary silence was created by Asena's trembling voice.

Asena was the one to break the silence. Brushing her disheveled hair aside, she calmly asked her grandmother with a composed voice.

"You say it's a problem because it's my one-sided love. Is that correct?"

"......"

"Grandma, then if Oppa also says he loves me, will you acknowledge it?"

Liana grabbed her head and whispered under her breath.

"...No... It can't happen..."

"Please give me a straight answer."

In the end, Liana turned and sat down on the chair. Asena continued to wait for her answer.

"......"

"Grandma, you said that you engaged him with another woman to protect us from suffering. You said he wouldn't accept my feelings. But if he does accept them... If he sees me as a woman too, will you understand us without saying anything?"

"......"

"Grandma."

Liana covered her face with her hands.

"...I don't know."

However, for Asena, it was a sufficient answer.

"...You didn't refuse."

****

"Keirsey!!"

I chased after Keirsey as she ran away. It was a day off, so there weren't many people around, but she drew attention wherever she went.

"Keirsey, stop!"

Despite my urgent call, she kept running. Of course, I could have caught her forcefully anytime if I wanted to, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do that.

Passing by buildings and reaching the open field where we often went for walks, I finally managed to catch up with her.

She, too, had suddenly stopped in her tracks, trembling with both fists clenched.

"...Keirsey."

I slowed my pace and stood in front of her, but I was met with an unexpected blow.

Thud!

"Just go!"

Keirsey, consumed by anger, looked at me with tears streaming down her face. It had been a long time since I had seen her expression so twisted.

"Keirsey, I already talked about this before. I'm leaving the family-"

My words couldn't reach Keirsey. She didn't want to listen.

She pounded her fists against my chest with all her might, screaming in her tear-filled voice.

"Traitor! You promised to stay by my side for a lifetime!"

Thud! Thud! Thud!

"You said you wouldn't leave my side! You said you would always be there for me!"

"Keirsey, my feelings for you and Asena will always remain. I'm not abandoning you-"

"Stop lying again! Stop deceiving me! You're leaving me behind! What does that mean now? Getting married to Judy and leaving me! If that's not betrayal, then what is it?!"

Her words pierced my heart as well. Separation is always painful, no matter when it happens. But as with any separation, being persuaded by others doesn't easily change one's feelings.

I had decided to leave, and the twins had to accept it.

"It was foolish of me to listen to you so kindly. I should have lived as I pleased!"

I opened my arms and approached her to embrace her.

But Keirsey, consumed by anger, pushed me away, blocking all my efforts.

"Get lost! Just go! You should go to Judy instead!"

"... "

Overwhelmed by Keirsey's intense reaction, I lost my words and was pushed back as she intended. I couldn't even console her. I couldn't even tell her to calm down. I felt my strength drain away, and I slowly lowered my arms.

As I stood there blankly, Keirsey, this time, suddenly clung to me.

"Oh, oppa, you're not really leaving, are you? You know that I'm not sincere...right? Oppa, you won’t leave me, right? Oh, perhaps Grandma doesn't know about it... Please, oppa, let's cancel the marriage with Judy. Okay?"

Through the arm she held onto, her desperation was conveyed. I understood that she was experiencing a storm of intense emotions. So, this transformation was inevitable.

Once again, I extended my arms toward her, but she refused the embrace.

"That's not what matters right now! Oppa, snap out of it! Is it okay? To spend a lifetime with Judy...! If you become part of the Ice family, I'll only get to see you once in a few years. Is that okay...!"

"Of course, I don't want that."

"Th-That's right, right? So, talk to Grandma... Let's consider this marriage conversation null and void-"

"But I did say that this day would come, Keirsey."

"Oppa!!!"

As she shouted, I forcibly embraced her. This time, she couldn't resist, and I held her tightly in my arms.

She struggled within my embrace for a while, then finally grew quiet and started shedding tears.

Sob... 

"Oppa... please... stop... now..."

"It's okay. You'll be fine even without me."

"Why do you keep talking as if you're going to disappear?!"

“.....”

"Why is it her... Does she mean more to you than I do? How could you leave me behind?"

"You're more important. But... this and that are different things."

"Then do you hate me? Because of those incidents, perhaps? Oppa, I'm begging you... I made a mistake... Don't leave!"

I didn't reply anymore and patted her back.

"It's okay, Keirsey. It's okay."

Calming her intense emotions was the priority. When someone is emotional, they don’t know what they’re saying.

Ignoring her continued pleas and requests, I kept patting her back.

It seemed impossible to discuss this topic today. 

I should wait at least until tomorrow.

Deciding to do so, I held crying Keirsey in my arms for hours.

***

As Keirsey entered the dorm room, Asena was waiting for her.

They gazed at each other with dull eyes.

It wasn't late, but both had exhausted their energy for the day.

Keirsey walked towards her room without saying a word to Asena.

It was also because Asena had secretly stolen kisses from Cayden and they still hadn't reconciled for that.

"...Keirsey."

Asena stopped her as she was about to walk into the room.

It was hard to tell how long it had been since they had a conversation alone.

Although Keirsey was emotionally hurt and just wanted to go to her room, a strange force made her turn around.

"..."

Asena had suddenly stood up from her seat and was slowly walking towards her.

The twins stared at each other from a distance that was less than arm's length.

Asena spoke.

"...Let's make up now."

"..."

Keirsey heard her words but simply turned her body. It wasn't like her to reject someone like this, but when pushed to the extreme, the sharpness hidden in her heart began to show.

As Keirsey ignored Asena's words and tried to enter her room again, Asena spoke.

"We're not making up for our sake. It's for Oppa."

“...”

Keirsey froze in her place.

She slightly turned her head, waiting for Asena's words.

"...Right now... while the topic about Judy and Oppa’s marriage is getting discussed... we can't fight amongst ourselves. If we continue like this... Oppa will leave for real."

"..."

"Keirsey, let's join forces."

"...What?"

"...Two is always better than one... You know that."

"..."

"...Let’s make an alliance until Oppa's marriage is canceled. If we miss this moment, it's over. We need to resolve things before things progress too much and become irreversible."

"...How?"

"I don't know... but I know that fighting between us won't work."

"..."

Asena trembled, her eyes moist, as she spoke to Keirsey.

"...I can't just watch Oppa leave my side."

Finally, Keirsey straightened her body and spoke.

"...What should we do?"