Chapter 112 - Not Her Child's Fault

"I'll pick you up in an hour, is that okay?" Jane's voice broke into the line, taking all her drowsiness away.

"Just give me the address, please. I'll be coming over."

Allie didn't wish an awkward time alone with her. Though she owed her much for taking care of the deficiencies of her daughter but she couldn't help being hurt even with just a mention of her name. She shared her husband's heart and that was a reason enough to avoid her at all cost.

"Do you want Adrian to pick you up, instead?" This raised her brow, was she playing the masochist? Was she expecting Adrian's sympathy or appreciation for offering this herself?

"No need, Dr. Jane. Trust me, I wouldn't get in your way."

"Is it because you choose Louise over him?" Her voice was filled with restrained sarcasm.

"Of course not. It is because I don't want to beg for someone's affection if it's no longer meant for me." It was an indirect insult, if Jane picked it up. She didn't know why but she couldn't still shake off the confidence that Ajie still loved her.

"I guess we better shift to another topic. If you would be more comfortable to come over here by yourself then I'll give you the address."

After an hour, the gates of Beautiful Haven opened up to a sprawling flower garden which would give anyone an impression of a paradise invasion. It spoke of the grandeur Jane could well create, being the epitome of beauty and brain herself. No matter how painful this reality was but this could surely be one of the reason why Ajie choose Jane over herself. Perhaps, he was just creating a rift between them to conceal his desire to let go of her.

"Just go straight and another gate would be opened for you." The guard instructed the driver as he nodded at her, perhaps an acknowledgment of being informed ahead of her coming.

As she stepped down from her hired car, she saw her mother running up to meet her, followed by his father. They were still far away from her but she could already heard them wailing. Their quivering voice pierced painfully into her heart and before she realized it, she was already crying harder than themselves. As she felt into her mother's neck, the sense of bitterness and loneliness started to creep up again inside her and she cried like she was already bidding them her last goodbye. His father cried bitterly as well as he hugged her the moment she was released by her mother and only the shrill cry of Chloe, which floated into their ears, forced them to separate.

Allie fell on her knees as she finally saw her daughter again. The pain of loneliness and the heartache of having to leave her haunted her again and she cried like it was her last moment to see her. She hugged her tightly into her chest, searching within herself the sweetness of holding her in her arms when she was still an infant. She missed her so much, so much more than she had imagined.

For some moments, Chloe yielded into her warm embrace and Allie felt relieved. It made her believe that children would indeed recognize their parents no matter how long they would be separated. Chloe cried hard as well and her childish voice warmed her heart in thinking that she was indeed not forgotten. But all of her presumptions died a thousand deaths when Chloe wriggled away from her grasp and ran towards Jane who stood at the far side to watch them. She cried harder when Jane picked her up and Allie felt she was shot at the heart the moment she heard her own child addressing Jane as 'mommy'.

"Mommy!" Chloe cried louder and louder as Jane comforted her, making Allie stood dumbfounded in her place.

"Chloe! Stop it." The voice of Ajie cut her sobbing instantly. "Go back to your mommy."

Allie saw the puzzled look in her daughter's eyes. She glanced up to Jane and the latter also gazed back at her pitifully...Despite the hesitance in her expression, she still managed to slide down from Jane's embrace and walked back slowly to Allie. Ajie caught her up and he knelt down in front of her.

"Baby, we have already talked about this, haven't we? Mommy Jane is your auntie while your real mommy is Mommy Allie. And I have been telling you that she is coming back from work one day and that she is finally coming back today."

Allie coudn't help herself from feeling a sense of envy. Envy for Ajie that he didn't have to go away. Envy for being able to stay by her side. Envy for being recognized by heart that he was a parent.

"Now, go! "

His eyes conveyed fear in her child's understanding and Allie was hurt with it. It was not her daughters fault that she was not recognized nor was it her fault that she grew up without a mother. Though she understood Ajie's shame and guilt for not being able to introduce her to her as the biological mother earlier, she believed that her child must not be punished for their own shortcomings. She knew that Ajie was just playing safe. Perhaps he thought that she was not coming back anymore and that he was afraid that giving their daughter a false assurance of her return would only give their child a negative psychological impact. However, earlier mindsetting would have played a great part in the child's acceptance of her but obviously, Ajie failed to do it.

"Don't confuse her anymore." Allie butted in before Ajie could give another command to scare her daughter.

Likewise confused on what she meant, Ajie threw a puzzled look at her.

"Let her go ahead on what she believed. It would not matter anymore." She ran her gaze through everyone around and saw at once her parent's questioning stare. She then wondered if it would be wise to tell them the whole truth but was also afraid that they would not be able to digest it in.

Unintentionally, her eyes fell on Ajie and for a moment, she thought that she saw hurt in it. He exactly knew what she meant. That it wouldn't matter anymore if Chloe wouldn't acknowledge her. She would be revealing herself to Hayri anytime even though he didn't know that it would be tonight. Why would he? She smirked as she derided herself. Wouldn't he feel triumphant that there would no longer be a thorn on their path?

She then moved her eyes on Chloe and tried hard to brush her thought away from him. She wasn't here for him and though it still hurt, she could no longer bring back the time. Some things in life are just not meant for any one, no matter how much those were desired upon.

"Baby, it's okay if you don't like to call me your mommy but can we, at least, be friends?" Allie tried to coax her as soon as she met her halfway.

Chloe nodded fearfully as her stares never left her. Her big, beautiful eyes glistened with unshed tears as she looked up to her. "Don't be afraid, my love. Can we rather play together?"

Chloe nodded but her tears which had long gathered in her eyes found its way into her face and it broke Allie's heart even more. How she wished she could buy more time, enough for her daughter to retain some good memories of her. Unfortunately, it seemed that she no longer had the luxury of time.

"Can you take me to your room and show me your dolls?" To her surprise, Chloe reached out to hold her hand and lead her to a building which looked like where they lived. Once inside her room, Allie saw her toys and was amazed at how Ajie pampered her with those expensive collections.

"Which is your favorite one?" She asked and Chloe started to pick one after another and soon, she started to gain her daughter's trust. She did not realized that she had already spent long hours with her as they shifted from one toy to another until the defenses of her child wore out. They played and watched videos until Chloe's lids dropped and she was forced to tuck her into the bed.

Lying with her in the bed, she started to regret her decision to reveal herself. She wanted to spend more time with her but the time drew onwards to the point where she had to leave already and head for the location Hayri had demanded Joshua to take her to.

Before she left, she cried once more as she hugged her parents. She did not tell them the story, doing so would only made them worry. Though she was reluctant to go but somehow, she was at least happy that she had seen them again.

As she was about to go out of the house, her mother was no longer able to hold her curiousity.

"Dear, what about you and Ajie now? Is it true that you're already with someone else?"

She smiled bitterly at her and held her hand. "The break up was my fault, Ma, because I left but as to your question if I have someone else, that's a different story."

"But dear, he is soon to be engaged to..."

"Yes, ma. I know it." She cut her statement before her mother could finish it.

"And?" Her mother stared at her, and she knew that she wanted to see her reaction.

"I wish them well."

"You sure you're not affected?" Her mother squinted as she looked at her closer, feeling uncomfortable at her indifference.

"It's actually bringing me down to my grave."

And her mother stared at her, dumbfounded.

To prevent herself from showing just how broken she was, she hurriedly turned back towards the door after a hurried farewell, only to find Ajie at the corner watching them. She got mad inwardly to realize how foolished she looked. To think, what was left now to save her dignity was only her pride and that too was already shattered. Damn it!

She stormed out of the house furiously and went directly to where the car she hired parked, only to find it nowhere. In her disgust, she cried and she started walking towards the gate while calling the driver.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. Your husband told me I can go."

"What? I have no husband!" She already shouted into the line in great disappointment while brushing her tears away in humiliation. When the guard opened up the gate, her eyes were already blurred with tears but she walked hurriedly down the road and didn't notice that a car was parking at the side.

"Get in!" Allie looked up to find Ajie on the driver's seat honking his horn to get her attention. She ignored him and kept on walking towards the second gate, only to find how fool she was.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. I cannot open the gate for you unless I am told to do so."

Just as she was about to argue, a hand wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her gently towards the waiting car.