Chapter 184 - Secret Forever

All colors left Shiela's face as she realized that Ryan might expose their past to them. Even she did not wish to look back at the poignant memories she tried to leave behind. It was a nightmare she thought she had struggled hard to overcome, but here he was, stripping back the still fresh, non-healing wound inside her heart.

"Do I know you that much, Mr. Yu?" she said, flashing him an angry gaze as sharp as her tone.

"Come on, Shiela, you take everything seriously. I am just kidding around," he chuckled, easing the tension that built inside her.

Shiela sighed and threw a glare at him, glad that she stood behind the two women, who could not see her full reaction. Somehow, she also thought that perhaps, her new friends just made it easy for her.

"Please stop teasing me, Mr. Yu. I could not ride along well with jokes," she said, almost tempted to say," especially those that come from you."

Cherry interrupted again, casting them an unbelieving gaze as she shifted her eyes from Shiela to Ryan. "You sure you don't know each other?"

Shiela sighed and cleared her throat, trying to ease her racing heartbeats while Ryan remained standing in his place, watching her with an amused look. Perhaps, he waited to hear what kind of alibi she could come up with.

"Honestly, we went to the same university and even took a few subjects together. Well, almost all the students, including me, knew him because he was popular."

"What about the present?" Ryan teased, his eyes sparkling as he laughed, highlighting his handsome features.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Yu, I don't have updates from you anymore after college," she replied with a smirk, but then muttered softly under her breath, rolling her eyes sideways in hatred, "you disappeared like bubbles, you know that very well."

"What did you say?" Ryan followed up; his smile disappeared from his lips.

"Nothing!"

Cherry and Allie remained looking down while stealing a glance at Ryan. Something in his eyes told her that he knew Shiela more than just a schoolmate. 

"Talking to yourself is not a good sign, Miss Ferrer," said Ryan, as his lips curved again into a teasing smile.

To end their awkward exchanges, Shiela turned to Allie and Cherry, giving them an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Che, Miss Allie. I really hated him because he exposed my cheating during one of our exams, and because of that, the school eliminated me from the dean's list. He was too inconsiderate even if he knew that I had just recovered from an illness." Shiela explained, trying to sound as believable as possible.

The two women gaped at what she said before a round of laughter erupted from both of them, but she could never fool them. Her actions spoke louder than words.

"Very well said, dear," you make us all..." Ryan replied, but before he could finish, Shiela cut her off.

"Stop it, Neil!" Shiela scowled, earning herself a laughter from Ryan and the speculating gazes of the two ladies.

A realization dawned on the two ladies that Shiela was the only woman who called Ryan his second name. And that may have a special meaning for him, making them both feel the thrill.

"Practice makes us perfect, dear, so do it until you are very good at making lies," Ryan said, causing Shiela to flush deeper, realizing her foolish mistake.

Ashamed of her silly move in exposing herself, she made a quick excuse and stormed out of the office. She knew Ryan was only wearing a mask and that his gentleness was merely a facade. She rushed out of the building and drove throughout the city aimlessly. Her guilt for the baby and her anger at Ryan began haunting her again. She got no one to talk to, not even her father. She knew she would be risking her life should she tell somebody about her dark secret.

Once she reached a less crowded place, she pulled over to the side and picked up her phone from a bag. She scanned the contact list and stared at her father's name, thinking many times if telling him the truth would be right. She closed her eyes after pressing the call icon and allowed her heart to pond loudly as it could until the voice of her father on the other line, jolted her back to reality.

"Shiela?"

"Pa."

Suddenly, Shiela did not know how to start the conversation. All the lines she mastered in her mind disappeared like a strayed breeze on a hot afternoon. She knew she had to make the first move before Ryan could stir up lies in his father's mind.

"What do you have in mind? Are you alright?"

"I'm not, Pa. If you only know how scared I am right at the moment," she thought, but before she could speak it out, the welling emotion inside her heart overflowed, and she couldn't help herself but cry.

"Shiela? What's wrong? You make me worry!"

Her sob got louder, and though an impatient sigh of her father heaved out from the end of the line, he patiently waited.

"What is it, love? I'm willing to listen."

Pushing the courage out of herself, Shiela finally got the strength to talk. "Pa, I don't deserve to be your child. I lied and cheated on you."

There was silence for a moment, and Shiela's heartbeats got wilder in each passing minute. After what seemed like an eternity, she heard him spoke again.

"Shiela, how about talking about this personally?"

"No, pa. I don't have the courage, but please just listen to me first."

"Then tell me about it."

"Pa, when I graduated, I was five months pregnant, and I didn't go to Japan to work."

There was silence again, and Shiela felt her heart bursting. She rather wanted to hear him shouting or cursing at her. She would have understood.

She closed her eyes as she continued, she had to do it now that she got the courage. Or she might never dare again. Her fear might be tearing her apart, but her father deserved to know the truth.

"I really planned to work in a far place, but the father of my boyfriend took me away until I gave birth."

"And where is the child, Shiela?"

"The doctor told me I lost him due to cord coil. I did not see him, Pa, they only showed me the grave."

"Tell me who your boyfriend is, Shiela! Now!"

For the first time in her life, it was the first time she heard him shout at her in anger. His voice made him tremble in fear and guilt, but she still managed to answer him.

"I'm sorry, Pa. That would be my secret forever."