Shiela took a shower and changed into a floral, halter-style maxi beach dress. While waiting for the arrival of the boats, she planned to take a walk around the islet. What she saw on the monitor disturbed her so much, and the constraints of the wall of the house suffocated her. Unlike Ryan, Andy indulged himself in his sex with Jullien. He was as mad as her, wanting everything about her body. Their moans and groans played in her mind like a broken audiotape, and she wanted to shake it off her system.
She left the room as soon as she got her preparation done, bringing along with her everything that she may need. Just as she was about to pass by Jullien's room, the door opened, and seeing Andy coming out from there, made her jump. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes got wide as she met his gaze. Perhaps because her mind was on him and Jullien, she got startled. Even without him knowing that she was watching them on that intense fight in bed, she felt guilty. She shouldn't have done that; it was an invasion of their privacy.
"I guess I know that look," Andy said, gazing down at her without smiling.
Her heart pounded, and suddenly, she got lost for words. She decided to ignore him, and walked fast, exiting through the main door. Just as she reached the place where she stayed the night before, his soft chuckle jolted her again that she almost stumbled.
"You're going to tell Ryan about your suspicion? Don't worry, dear, he was the one who asked me to come over."
Shiela suddenly stopped in her tracks as she gazed up at him, her face registering surprise and confusion. Since he set up the bait, she might as well retrieve it and cast it back on him.
"You must have known that they are already engaged, haven't you?"
"In three months."
His prompt answer surprised her in a different way that she stood staring at him for a moment, trying to process in her mind what they were all up to. This was all absurd. Ryan was making love with her with Jullien under the same roof, and here comes Andy, indulging himself in that same, sinful deed with his fiancee.
"I could not understand it."
"Yes, dear, you're right. How could one ever understand? It's different in your case. Ryan loves you, and you are his life, but what about me? I am just a sex toy, a nobody, a piece of trash in their world. Worst of all, I can never be Ryan. Never be."
Shiela swore she could read the sense of pain lurking behind the broad grin that spread on his face, right after he said it. His beautiful eyes that seemed to be always smiling did nothing to conceal the hurt and anger his message had conveyed.
" I am just a worthless researcher who works for her in her lab. Those several years in study and those years of service for her business doesn't qualify me to stand by her side. Her heart and soul is for Ryan alone. I even wonder how he gets out of this. Or, has he also conceded on his defeat just as Jullien does?"
The humor this man showed during the breakfast, and the cheerfulness that seemed to emanate from his aura was all gone. The man who was standing before her now was a different person, wretched, broken, and discarded.
To change the topic, she thought of a light subject that would cheer him on, but instead, she ended asking something foolish, which she regretted later on. "Where is she?"
"Asleep. Finally, Jullien has relaxed and slept after many days of restlessness."
Shiela frowned; Jullien was always energetic, and she never looked tired. "Restlessness?"
"Yes. Ever since Jullien's family set the date of their marriage, Jullien broke up with me and came over here to start accepting her doom. That didn't come out easily for her. She suffered from withdrawal syndrome."
"I don't get it," Shiela whispered; these people had too much mysteries.
"Ever since we were in college, Jullien started taking up a supplement, and in her innocence, she thought it was an immune booster. The effect was hilarious, it always lifted her mood, and we have good sex. Their parents intended to give the supplement for her and Ryan, but Ryan refused to take it."
"You wouldn't be able to imagine, Jullien is addicted even if she found out later that it is a form of drug her company produced, and that one of the adverse effects is sexual addiction."
"So, you are also addicted?" Shiela knew it was something too personal.
"Unlike her, I'm addicted to her as herself and not because of the drug. I know the antidote, the flower of Chara blooms."
Shiela was already shaking; the revelation was too much for her. Before she could grasp for words, Andy continued.
"My heart aches for her. She knows Ryan doesn't love her and that her affection for him might never be returned. She decides to double her effort, or else, Ryan might call her dreamed wedding off. But that didn't come out easily for her. She suffered from withdrawal syndrome, and Ryan never gave in to her needs even if she begged. His open rejection makes her feel dejected."
Shiela looked at him, horrified even more. The scenes of Jullien begging for his attention flashed before her. Those bold, desperate moves when she cried hard, begging Ryan to make love to her, shook her heart. She even went to the extent of tearing her self -worth when she undressed before him and showed him her greed for sex.
So, it indeed meant that her depression, which prompted her to take more Chara blooms, was because of Ryan's rejection and her fear that Ryan might run away on their wedding day. She came here to make sure she can secure Ryan to herself. These facts were too mindblowing!
"Andy, why don't you give her the antidote?"
"Its the only link that binds her to me, something Ryan cannot give."
"You love her."
"More than my life."
"Why are you telling me all these?" Shiela started to cry. She was hurting in her despair, and she was also hurting for Andy."
"It's because we share the same fate, and above all others, you can understand me the most."