Chapter 64 - The Fox Has A Heart-to-heart

Chu Yun didn't like Tan Ruo's knowing smirk. He felt as if she was able to pry under his skin.

"Nothing happened," he lied, "I'm merely curious about, Sister Tan's marriage." Realising how that sounded, he hastened to add, "from the perspective of a person in an atypical union to another, of course."

She grinned, leaning across the table. Her large sleeve covered her hands in a girlish fashion. She seemed to delight in looking nothing like an alpha woman should.

"Has brother Chu ever walked by a stall selling fresh food, and thought the scents were delicious, mouthwatering even?"

Of course he had. He was sure that was an universal experience. "Yes," he said, unsure where Tan Ruo was going with this.

"Have you then, ever devoured all the food in the stall, even though you had just eaten? Or had family waiting for you at home so you could have lunch?"

Utterly befuddled now, Chu Yun shook his head.

Tan Ruo hummed thoughtfully. "That's how I feel about omegas. They smell delicious and inviting but I have food at home."

Chu Yun's brain came to a grinding halt. "But omegas...are not food."

Tan Ruo laughed. "And yet in many that's what they sound like, when alphas talk about them." She reached across the table and patted Chu Yun's wrist. "I just don't feel like things work in the imperative way we were taught they do. It's a cruel imposition to say that biology must dictate the course of one's life."

Chu Yun remained silent, he couldn't say he had ever questioned the nature of the alpha and omega roles in society. 

Maybe it was because Tan Ruo was a good person, who had spent all her life in Zui where omegas were treated so badly, that she felt that way. Chu Yun doubted she would have such a radical viewpoint if she had been raised in Xin.

She laughed again. "I can see this conversation is scaring you."

Chu Yun took a sip of tea, buying himself some time. "I'm just surprised, I assumed your motives might have more to do with practical reasons."

She tilted her head to the side. "It didn't cross your mind that I might love my wife?"

Chu Yun sputtered. He was already regretting this conversation. Why didn't he just talk about the weather? It even looked like it was about to snow.

"I do," Tan Ruo said smiling sweetly, "I love her, and if I'd married an omega, I would never have met her."

"But...don't you think about everything you're missing out on?" Chu Yun asked haltingly, voicing his biggest anxiety.

He hated the idea of being prevented from having something that would otherwise be his due. He didn't hold any romantic notions about marriages, but there were certain expectations one couldn't help developing. Having an omega mate meant that the onsets of his ruts would be less violent, his omega mate's scent would calm him whenever he got angry or anxious, he would have children -- with a high probability of being omegas or alphas themselves.

Being married to Xiao Zai meant he would never have any of that. He had more-or-less made his peace with it, and as long as Xiao Zai became king, Chu Yun would feel vindicated regarding the cruel hand fate had dealt him.

He still hated the idea of missing out.

Maybe Xiao Zai hated it too.

Tan Ruo sighed deeply, and refilled Chu Yun's teacup. "No, because I don't think I'm missing out on anything. I think I'm escaping a cycle that traps both omegas and alphas in unhappy relationships."

"I can see how it can be like that for some omegas, but for alphas...," Chu Yun gestured vaguely and trailed off.

Tan Ruo snorted. "Because all alphas want to be domineering, strong, leaders..."

Obviously that was a very stereotypical view. Tan Ruo was using the kind of adjectives betas usually employed to describe alphas whenever they felt like airing their grievances.

A thought crossed Chu Yun's mind. "Does your wife call you those things?"

Tan Ruo huffed. "No! My point is that people, regardless of whether they're omegas, alphas, or betas, don't fall into perfect roles. I'm obviously not a typical alpha, and frankly neither are you."

Chu Yun opened his mouth to disagree with her, but then closed it with a click. He supposed he had given Tan Ruo reason to think that.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "If you have feelings for your husband just enjoy them...don't overthink something so simple and joyful."

Chu Yun recoiled. Where had Tan Ruo gotten that preposterous impression from. "Of course not, we're both alphas, I would never---"

He froze, the words dying on his tongue. He had forgotten himself. When he met Tan Ruo he'd been working really hard to convince her of just how besotted he was with Xiao Zai.

He cleared his throat. "I would never think of betraying him, but I get anxious sometimes, wondering if perhaps he won't come to regret our marriage." He relaxed his shoulders and took a sip of his tea. There. Crisis averted.

Tan Ruo gave him a knowing smirk from a cross the low, lacquered table. Her soft pink sleeves trailed across the wood as she sat back on the pillow more comfortably. "I wouldn't worry about that."

"Why not?" Chu Yun asked, although he had some idea what she was going to say. 

He knew that Xiao Zai was attracted to him. Xiao Zai had said so himself, as early on as that fateful night in the brothel. 

His actions were a constant reminder. If Chu Yun were to suggest it, he would be thrilled to fully consummate their wedding. But lust was a fickle thing, especially considering both of them were alphas. 

Tan Ruo's smirk widened. "Let's just call it a woman's intuition."

What kind of answer was that? Chu Yun rolled his eyes so hard he risked spraining them.. Tan Ruo just laughed at him.