Chapter 102 - The Fox Accepts Reality

The next day Chu Yun must submit himself to the mortifying ordeal of being examined by not one, but three physicians Xiao Zai had personally vetted himself.

All of the servants were kept away from Chu Yun's quarters, and the inner pavilion as a whole, with the exception of Hua Nanyi, to reduce the chances of anyone overhearing anything they absolutely shouldn't.

Chu Yun watched in exasperation as Xiao Zai made the three physicians swear in front of him, on their ancestor's graves, on their own lives, and on their descendant's lives, that nothing they learned while examining Chu Yun would leave the four walls of his room.

After all three were appropriately scared shitless, the examination began. 

They all took turns taking his pulse and making faces about it. Then they drew his blood into a shallow plate and added compounds to it. One put it on the window sill under direct sunlight, the other blew on it, the last one just watched it attentively for any changes.

After Chu Yun's blood was done telling them whatever it was they needed to learn, all three switched concerned looks and then began more invasive examinations.

To Chu Yun's mortification, this required him to partially disrobe. The men lifted his arms and examined the skin around his nipples, touched his abdomen extensively and thoroughly until Chu Yun thought he was going to be sick again.

When one of them suggested giving Chu Yun an internal exam Xiao Zai interfered, "That won't be necessary, I'm sure you already have enough information to reach a conclusion." Which was a relief because it saved Chu Yun from committing an act of senseless violence.

Chu Yun sat up on the bed and closed his inner robes around himself, trying to affect dignity he wasn't feeling after such a thorough examination.

The physicians exchanged another look between themselves and then all dropped to the floor in deep prostration.

"This one is talentless and simpleminded, and couldn't arrive at any other diagnosis beyond pregnancy," he banged his head loudly against the wooden floor. "Begging his Highness to punish this one for his lack of skill as a physician."

The other two echoed his sentiment, but added their own spin on the delivery, "His Grace is pregnant, it's a miracle."

"His Grace is pregnant, it's an abomination."

The first physician, not wanting to be left out added, "His Grace is pregnant, it's a scientific marvel."

Xiao Zai threw a pouch of gold and silver taels at each of of them and promptly kicked them out, reminding them menacingly of the oaths they had sworn.

"I have half a mind to go find the one who said it was an abomination and beat him to death," Xiao Zai said, after the door closed behind the last physician.

Chu Yun let out a bitter chuckle. "Why? I agree with him, it is an abomination."

Xiao Zai's face fell. He sat down on the bed next to Chu Yun. "You don't mean that, you're just in shock." He tried to wrap an arm around Chu Yun's shoulders but Chu Yun dodged him with a scowl.

"Stop fucking coddling me!" he hissed, bunching up the sheets between his fingers to stave off his anger.

His mind kept trying to tell him that Xiao Zai had a hand in all of this, but Chu Yun refused to believe that little insidious voice. Xiao Zai wouldn't do something like that to him.

But each time Xiao Zai expressed any positive emotion, about...the 'stomach bug' that nagging suspicion reared its ugly head. 

Xiao Zai stopped trying to touch him, but he let out a shuddering sigh, his head lowered as he looked down at his lap. "Don't lock me out," he said, almost in a whisper. "I know you're scared, but we'll get through this together."

"You don't know shit," Chu Yun snarled, baring his teeth. "What if it was the other way around? What would you do then?"

Xiao Zai looked into his eyes, the dark depths of his own unbearably clear. "I don't know, but I would be glad to have you by my side."

Chu Yun scoffed, hugging his knees to his chest and turning his face away from Xiao Zai. "You're just saying that, because it's what you want to hear." He shuddered. "I've already given up so much...do I need to give up my body as well?"

For a long time no one said anything, until Xiao Zai cleared his throat, his voice rough, "Is that how you feel? That being married to me means giving up on yourself?"

Chu Yun shrugged, still not looking at Xiao Zai. He tightened his arm around his knees, wanting to make a shell out of his own legs. "What kind of humiliations haven't I suffered, since we got married? And now...this."

"I never wanted you to humiliate yourself," Xiao Zai said, with feeling. His hand closed briefly over the knob of Chu Yun's knee before letting go. "Don't do it. You don't need to pretend to be beneath me just to court some stupid minister's approval."

Finally Chu Yun turned to face Xiao Zai. His fox eyes were filled with unshed tears, clinging stubbornly to his thick lashes. His sharp eyebrows were furrowed in consternation, making him look even more aggrieved. 

"And now you belittle my efforts! As if I haven't singlehandedly turned you into a contender for the throne when in the past you were nothing more than a weed trying to survive in your sibling's shadow."

Xiao Zai pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's not...fuck. I'm not belittling you, and I'm thankful for everything you have done. I just don't want you to keep doing it, if you think it's humiliating."

"I have to do something!" he snapped, his lips curled back. "They'll destroy us, otherwise, the King...he..."

Xiao Zai pulled him into his arms and this time Chu Yun didn't fight him. "I know, shh, I know," he said kissing the top of Chu Yun's silky hair. "You have me, you don't need to do everything on your own. You can trust me."

Chu Yun closed his eyes with a sigh, letting Xiao Zai's warm voice wash over him.. He wanted to believe him, but he knew that people who placed their trust in the wrong person eventually ended up paying dearly for the mistake.