Chapter 159 - The Fox Gets A Cold Reception

His mother's shoulders shook with the violence of her sobs. Chu Yun's hand hung frozen in midair, halfway towards her, he was afraid that touching her would only make things worse.

Only Xiao Zai's warm hand around his own under the table prevented him from getting up to his feet and leaving like his father.

Xiao Zai didn't say anything, but his steady presence was enough to comfort Chu Yun in the face of his mother's sadness. 

An odd thought struck him. He didn't think he had ever upset his mother before -- or his father, for that matter.

All his life, Chu Yun had always been the perfect son. Neither of them had ever raised their voice towards him, and his father had definitely never walked out on him.

Even when things were rocky for a while there, and he kept to himself and told both of them very little -- they didn't pressure him, trusting him to know what was best, and act accordingly.

Now, his mother couldn't stop crying as if letting out all the recriminations she held back for all those years.

His parents' reaction just solidified the panic Chu Yun had been feeling since he learned about the pregnancy. He tried to keep his mind off it, and most of the time he even succeeded. A part of him was even excited about the idea of a child who was as much his own as Xiao Zai's -- if only in the abstract sense, where he imagined a child, fully formed, of around two or so, magically appearing in their lives, completely unrelated to any pregnancy. But other times the panic almost choked him.

Xiao Zai's fingers tightened around Chu Yun's hand. Chu Yun turned towards him and saw the downwards swoop of his eyebrows, and the thin line of his lips; a picture of barely restrained anger. 

It was only a matter-of-time until the dam holding it all back burst. Chu Yun noticed it too late to stop him.

"I don't see the motive for mother-in-law's tears," Xiao Zai spat out through gritted teeth. "Both Chu Yun and the child are fine."

His words cut off Madam Jing's tears more abruptly than a faucet.

"The child?" her chin trembled, announcing another crying fit. "How can you say that? What have you done to my son?"

"He hasn't done anything," Chu Yun said. "We don't know why it happened."

She turned to him with a furious look. "It's punishment! From the heavens."

Her words hit him like a slap. 

Chu Yun could dismiss that kind of talk from the one physician who kept envisioning draughts and plagues, but hearing it from his mother made all the air leave his lungs as if he was being submerged underwater.

"Mother--" Chu Yun tried again, his voice wet and raspy.

Xiao Zai got up to his feet and pulled Chu Yun by their linked hands. "We'll leave tomorrow morning."

In any other circumstance Chu Yun might have admonished him for being disrespectful with his mother but as it stood, he was too numb to do anything but let himself be dragged along out of the hall.

---

The moment the door of his bedroom closed behind him, Chu Yun's eyes started burning with unshed tears. He looked up at the familiar ceiling he'd seen all his life, and sucked on a fortifying breath. 

He wouldn't fucking cry.

Xiao Zai's eyes were filled with consternation. He approached Chu Yun, who turned his face to the side when he tried to kiss him. Xiao Zai's lips landed instead on his cheek, and he pretended that had been his intention all along.

"Don't let it upset you, they're just in shock," Xiao Zai said, sliding one hand through Chu Yun's still wet hair.

How could he not be upset? He wanted to rage at Xiao Zai for using such empty platitudes on him, for trying to coddle him as if he was a fussy pet, but he didn't have the energy for it.

He felt weighted down with a profound sadness, like he'd jumped into a lake with several rocks tied to his waist.

He let himself drop to the bed with a hollow sigh, his legs hanging listlessly from the edge. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up seven months from there.

Xiao Zai took a seat at his side on the edge of the mattress. "We'll leave tomorrow. I know they are your parents and deserve my respect, but I won't let them offend you."

Chu Yun rubbed the bridge of his nose. "They didn't offend me, I offended them."

Xiao Zai's knuckles turned white from his grip on the mattress. "How would you have done that?"

Chu Yun chuckled bitterly, throwing one arm over his hot eyes. "Who wants to hear their alpha son is pregnant? And on the tail-end of everything that happened with Chu Hean? I fooled myself by thinking they could look past it and see the political opportunity it presented." He sighed deeply. "I made a mistake."

"Is that how you see it? As a political opportunity?"

What did Xiao Zai want him to say? That he saw it as a miracle? That he was happy to be put in such an unusual position? He didn't begrudge Xiao Zai his own happiness, and he appreciated his restraint in displaying it. But they just weren't in the same situation.

Of course Xiao Zai was happy, it was natural for alphas to sire children. But he couldn't expect Chu Yun to share his happiness when his circumstances were drastically different. 

It wasn't fair.

"I'm just tired, I need to sleep." He pulled his legs up into the bed and wrapped his arms around his knees, toeing off his slippers.

After some time, Xiao Zai laid down behind him. His chest to Chu Yun's back. "Can I stay with you? Or do you want me to leave?"

Chu Yun reached behind to pull Xiao Zai's arm over his waist and press the two of them closer. 

"Stay.." Despite its curtness, the quiet word sounded more like a plea than an order.