Chapter 32: That's A Sweet Play, A Girl's Desire
"......This takes me back like so"
I muttered so in the darkness.
Where I am now is probably inside a dream, and this darkness has always been tormenting me, trying to knock me down into despair.
{You are a cursed child. As if you could ever become happy.}
A voice embraced with unpleasant feelings from the bottom of one's heart envelops me.
Disgusting, irritating, but the feeling of fear I had for a long time in regard to this voice didn't come to mind at all.
"I......have changed after all didn't I."
In response to my relaxed voice, the thing that was approaching in front of me stopped moving.
I'm sure it tried to torment me like it has always done, but the current me is not fragile enough to be dealt with this level of fearIt's because Nii-san, an existence most precious person to me, is by my side.
"You too......Mashiro too, right?"
"Un"
Mashiro appeared next to me in an instant.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that she looks exactly like me, and she's been by my side as far to the first time I gained awareness of things around me...... By being given a name, she is a girl who has acquired her own existence in the truest sense of the word.
{Why......why aren't you in despair?}
"Despair, is it......'cause no need to do anyway? For me, I don't need to be afraid of nightmares like you anymore really."
Yes, I no longer hate my birth anyway, nor do I hold a grudge against the world itself as well.
Because I learned that I don't need to do such things anymore, and if I'm going to do that kind of thing or so, I'd rather be lovey-dovey with Nii-san.
"......Chisome really has become stronger. That's why it's okay."
"Mashiro......that's also you too right?"
"e?"
"I will no longer be swayed by power, I will no longer see my heart broken. The same is true for that sense of security, but even Mashiro wish to want to be with Nii-san. That's why same as me your heart is also getting stronger, was it not?"
This girl and I are the same, and we'll love Nii-san to no end.
Until not long ago, Mashiro only understood things such as like, love, and atmosphere, but by interacting with Nii-san, Mashiro understood all of that and became infinitely closer to a person.
"......Un. I've always hated seeing Chisome get hurt figure. But meeting Onii-sama, Chisome became brighter, and at the same time made the heart stronger. Seeing Chisome like that made me also think that to just be afraid is no good, similarly I wanted to be strong that's why."
I nodded at Mashiro's words.
The reason Mashiro and I have changed and become stronger like this is all because Nii-san showed us the light.
It's because he had sent us happy days and fun times that we don't have time to do something like despair.
"Me and Mashiro are no longer in a dimension where we can be manipulated by a nature's unknown thing like you. The reason you haven't appeared in my dreams until now is surely, because you can't absorb the fear and sadness from me anymore right?"
{................}
Apparently it hits a bull's-eye.
Precisely because it's not just me but also Mashiro are being enveloped by happiness, this black mist that feeds on our fears and sadness is losing the power to exist.
"Just disappear already. To the point where I somehow forget about your existence, I don't care about you anymore that's why."
{......that guy's fault huh. Because of that foreign object fault is it}
".............I'm no good aren't I."
I remember the dream I had just before...... but that sort of thing doesn't matter anymore.
I've been having troubles lately, and that is that my body ends up craving it just by smelling Nii-san's scent......even skinship in the same manner as before is wholly fine, but my heart and body are screaming and begging for proof that I am Nii-san's woman.
"Nii-san......I, I really want to do lewd things with Nii-san."
I want to overlap my body with Nii-san, I want a more deeper connection......I also know that Nii-san is glancing (repeatedly) curious about my body anyway, and I know that he's looking at me sexually too......and yet I from myself don't step in to the point where I can't turn back is because I'm still a junior high school student.
"They say things like age doesnt matter when it comes to love, but even so, at least Ill put up with it until I become a high school student. I'm sure Nii-san will feel more at ease that way."
That's why it's just a few months of patience......when I become a high school student, I'll even convey to Nii-san that I want to do this.
It might be my own selfish assumption, but I don't think Nii-san will ever refuse.
I don't know why, but I had that kind of intuition embrace this heart of mine.
"But I can't sleep huh......what about Mashiro?"
I'm sure we were in the same bed when we went to sleep should be, but it seems like she's back into my shadow again.
This is already like a habit of hers; it's not that she has trouble falling asleep, but her body will end up returning to my shadow on its own I think.
"Fufuu, that side of her is also cute, but I think, same as me, it seems she'll become able to, like, stay in this bed much longer sooner or later."
Even now, there are also times when Mashiro stays until morning, but it's more common for her to end up returning to the shadows I think, if I had to pick which.
"......a little bit......just a little bit......just the tip is fine right Nii-san......?"
Nii-san is inside a deep sleep, so there's no way he'll answer my query.
After I confirmed that, I unbuttoned the top button of my pajamas, and although I didn't take them off completely, I exposed my skin as if to make it easier to touch.
"Yoishotto" *huff*
I turned my back to Nii-san and deftly, in that position, so that it was as if his hands came to my chest.
"un"
Lately, what I've been addicted to, that is having my sleeping Nii-san touch the sensitive parts of my body......ummm, a perverted act that I can't even describe.
If this were something like a manga, the other person would actually be awake, there is also such a thing but unfortunately Nii-san is terrifyingly good at falling asleep, so that's not the case.
"Nii-san......I like you. Me, I really like Nii-san......I love you"
It's a sinful night while I whisper my love to Nii-san, and I knead my own breasts with his hands...... But, you know? This excites me the most
As expected, when Mashiro is conscious, I don't do it, but precisely because it's a time like this, I can do it.
"Nii-san? Someday, definitely with your own will, touch my body as you please okay? That time from now, I'm looking forward to it with all my heart"
But......assuming there is a world where the original me ate Nii-san, it means that wasn't someone else's problem but......it is that isn't it.
"I so want to be lewdly eaten by Nii-san, and I also come to want to really lewdly eat Nii-san is kind of......good isn't it"
It doesn't have to be bloody; it's fine, you also think so too right?
......wait, I wonder who I'm asking......I'm getting sleepy anyway, I'm going to sleep.
Nii-san's hand is...... Ehehe, I wonder if it's fine to let it stay like this, tomorrow's reaction I'm incredibly looking forward to it!
[Author's Afterword]
The next volume is just around the corner, in other words, the school edition with the addition of Chisome.