CH 7.1

It seemed like it was a serious injury that even the pope’s divine power could not guarantee my recovery. The dream I had while I was in a confused state may have reflected my hope before I went to the underworld. Because in my dreams, Yohan was always by my bedside. If it was the Grim Reaper who came to bring me, I’d follow it.

I asked if Yohan came to see me. Cardinal Jun said no chance. Yohan didn’t come to see me even once after he cured me when I crashed.

I could tell lies and truths by looking at his face. I thought it was true. All the female priests who took care of me said the same thing and they didn’t seem to lie either.

In the end, Yohan, who was desperately whispering to live in my ear, was no more than my dream.

I was not disappointed. My mind was wearing out, and my body was in tatters, so I couldn’t stand it. I then thought.

Maybe it’s time to finish.

No matter how great of love it is, people wear out even if love doesn’t change. Love doesn’t tire out, but people do. No matter how noble of love it is, love remains, but people die.

The priests were cooperative in treating my wounds. I wanted to get out of the Temple soon. When I recovered enough to get up, Yohan came to visit me. Cardinal Jun joined us in our conversation. I was going to talk about my dream, but I stopped. I didn’t want to be hurt by Yohan’s lies anymore. I was exhausted. My body and mind were in tatters, so I thought I might have to end it.

Who knows? Maybe if I brought up the dream, Yohan’s patience would also reach its limit, and he could confess that it was not a dream, but a fact. A dazzlingly beautiful handsome man sat on a chair. He seemed like a different person from the person who cried and confessed in my dream, but he was the same person. Seeing him insist on lying to the end, I realized.

I might have to end it.

“How is your condition, Young Lady Rivero?”

“Thank you for saving me, Holy Father.”

“It was a serious injury that your skull and spine were almost crushed. Is there any inconvenience?”

“Thanks to you, I’m fine, Holy Father.”

I wonder if it was because my determination was revealed in my attitude? Cardinal Jun and his eyes changed. I decided to give Yohan one last chance. It was the last time for me, and for him.

“Holy Father, I want to ask you for the last time.”

“Young Lady Rivero. I don’t love you.”

Yohan answered hastily. I was quite disappointed. Because he stuck to the lie until the end and hid the truth.

“That’s not it. I’ll ask you another question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you have someone you love?”

“I love everyone equally as a servant of the Holy God.”

“Your Holiness, I said it was the last question. Please answer me honestly.”

I looked him in the eye and spoke clearly.

“Do you have anyone you love?”

He replied.

“Yes.”

Cardinal Jun was breathless in surprise. I purposely told Cardinal Jun to keep this conversation a secret. Cardinal Jun swore to God on the spot. So I was ready to listen to Yohan’s true feelings.

“Are you going to confess to that person?”

“No.”

“Why? You love her, right?”

“Young Lady Rivero.”

Yohan smiled bitterly. He fiddled with the locket in his chest a few times and closed his eyes. A little while later, he said.

“Young Lady, as you know, I received the oracle. This child will end the war. No one can do that but this child. Although now we are in a ceasefire, the demons freely cross the border and disturbances are becoming more frequent. We don’t know how long it will take before the war ends. I have made up my mind to devote my life to the mission that the Holy God has given me. So personal happiness, love between man and woman, is far from me.”

“But you don’t have to get married? You can just take her as your mistress? If that, too, is a problem, then you can just stay friends?”

“I’m fine with that, but what about the other person’s life? A life, where if it wasn’t for me, she can normally meet a good person, have a family, have children, and enjoy normal happiness.”

“Are you really happy with that?”

“Yeah. I’m happy with that.”