Chapter 47-48: The lemon is not sour, the straight man is going to bend.

47-48: The lemon is not sour, the straight man is going to bend.

halfway through the novel~

Chapter 47

— @FanA: Sofa!

— @FanA:???

— @FanA: The front drainage is a bit deep, ah, I don’t want to sit on this sofa.

— @FanB: Mang God, this is….a confession?

— @FanC: I think it’s just a quote of a good passage.

— @FanD: Is there a missing term at the end – the name of the recipient?

— @FanE: My Mang God posting chicken soup love quotes on Weibo? This painting style isn’t right.

— @FanF: I thought it was the wrong person and almost unfollowed.

— @FanG: Although it’s chicken soup, it’s somewhat touching. I respect it.

— @FanH: Knocking on the blackboard. Do you see this emphasis? He, unusual, ah — he.

— @FanI: Therefore this one must be @Lemon

— @FanJ: @Lemon

— @FanK: @Lemon

……

— @FanZ: Quiet down, okay? I think Mang God’s account has been stolen. There’s this special kind of zombie powder group that hacks Weibo accounts. Along with these chicken soup messages, the Weibo will post a bunch of hot topic micro-business ads. Tell Mang God himself quickly to change his password! @Lemon

Ling Meng, who had received a lot of notifications that morning, repeatedly read over Shan Zhu’s Weibo, bringing the phone closer to his face and turning it upside down to look at it. He didn’t understand what he meant.

Ling Meng: Has your Weibo account been stolen?

Shan Zhu was slow to reply, making Ling Meng think, could it be the phone also stolen along with the stolen Weibo?

By the time Shan Zhu sent a reply, Ling Meng had just finished a nap.

Shan Zhu: No.

Shan Zhu: I went out with my friends and just now saw it.

Ling Meng scoffed, what friends, oh, playing so attentively he couldn’t even look at his phone, is anything in the world more interesting than your phone?

Ling Meng: Oh, you suddenly copied a chicken soup quote and scared me.

Shan Zhu: It’s not a copy.

Ling Meng:?

Shan Zhu: Expressing my feelings

Ling Meng: You aren’t really in love, are you?

Shan Zhu: Mmm.

“Mmm?” He asked a rhetorical question, what does it mean to answer “mmm”?

Mmm, it’s not true.

Mmm, I’m really in love.

Ling Meng thought that it was more likely that the latter was true. So this guy Shan Zhu really fell in love. His boyfriend should be the one who he was out with just now. Playing so much that he didn’t reply to the message in the usual time, because Shan Zhu wasn’t even looking at his phone.

In the future, there would be no Mang God food delivery. Shan Zhu would only deliver breakfast to another person.

He wouldn’t run together with him in the morning; anyway, the sports meet was already over.

He wouldn’t ride in the black car together with him; that was just faking gay to sell rot on the broadcast.

Ling Meng looked over Shan Zhu’s Weibo post from top to bottom again. With a vicious heart, he thought, A person who can shine, who, someone bald?

The others in the dorm all packed their bags to go home one after another. The Dragon Boat Festival was tomorrow. Ling Meng’s friends were all locals and they promised to bring delicious food back for Ling Meng.

After a few hours, the dormitory was empty except for Ling Meng.

Alone on the holidays, Ling Meng was feeling a little homesick. He opened a WeChat three-person group to call out to his mother.

MengMeng: Ma! Happy Zongzi Festival! Want to eat meat zongzi! The zongzi over here are all too sweet!

MengMeng Ma: Son, tell me the truth.

MengMeng: Spill?

MengMeng Ma: Do you have a girlfriend?

MengMeng: Hah??

MengMeng Ma: Did you do something bad with other people?

MengMeng: Hah???

MengMeng Ma: Call Me Daddy.gif

MengMeng: ….

MengMeng: No! Ma! Listen to my explanation!

MengMeng Ma: Daddy Doesn’t Listen.gif

MengMeng Ma: Daddy Doesn’t Need To Explain.gif

MengMeng: Why is even my mom brushing the expression pack??! Dad, look at her!!

MengMeng Dad: My Son Has Grown Up, Daddy Is Very Relieved.gif

MengMeng: Dad!!!

Please read at tailor31415.wordpress.com. Otherwise, you’re reading stolen material.

Chapter 48

Ling Meng wasn’t actually alone on this holiday; there was a broadcast room of hundreds of thousands of water friends accompanying him.

The people who came to see Ling Meng live during the festival were true love fans, so Ling Meng planned to give these true love fans some benefits. “Aren’t there a lot of anchors eating live? Would it be good to stream eating tonight?”

— Alright, alright, eat zongzi live!

“Even the zongzi; the zongzi from our canteen are all sweet. Oh, right, I’ll live broadcast eating the second canteen’s steamed buns. I’ll eat two of them!”

— Where’s the sincerity? When anchors eat live, they eat at least 30 buns!

“Quiet, these are our school’s second canteen steamed buns. A fighter can eat one, a brave warrior can eat two.”

— What about three?

“That’s a martyr.”

It was so pleasantly decided. Ling Meng left a “anchor gone to buy steamed buns” TXT file on the desktop and rushed to the second canteen to buy two steamed buns. He also went next door to the large pharmacy attached to the second canteen to buy medicine in case of emergency.

“Let me show you the steamed buns of the legendary second canteen.” Ling Meng held the steamed bun close to the camera, turning it 360 degrees all around in the display.

— Eh? They look good, much better than I imagined.

— Looking at a big one, there’s no stuffing leaking, much better than the ones I wrap.

“That’s because all the leaking ones have been changed to pie.” Ling Meng picked one of them up, “I’m going to eat it.”

The first bite didn’t reach the stuffing, the second bite only reached the edge of the filling. “It’s like…meat mixed with plum?”

— Wait, wait! You don’t know what stuffing you bought?

“The steamed buns of the second canteen are all mixed together for sale. Like a raffle, you can buy delicious steamed buns only if you’re lucky.”

Commenting while he ate, he said, “It tastes good like this.”

— I’ve never eaten a steamed bun with plum and meat stuffing, what the hell is that?

— Raising my hand! I’ve eaten dried plum stuffing and it’s pretty tasty.

— Plum duck is also good.

— Steamed buns with plum aren’t too bad to eat.

The whole barrage turned into a gourmet food discussion.

“Sometimes the chef packs the unsold dishes from other windows into the steamed buns, so I figure that’s it.”

— Wouldn’t that food be leftovers?

“You don’t get it, huh? The leftovers are much more delicious than the stuffing they currently make.”

— Oh my god! What kind of cooking is this, against the laws of heaven!

Ling Meng was very happy: “Today’s luck is good. Did the Dragon Boat Festival improve the luck of the students?”

— It’s appetizing to watch Lemon Dad eat.

— +1 Makes me eager to try even the steamed buns of the second canteen.

— Lemon Dad, would you like to eat and then sing live after? Let Mang God come to play a game or something.

The topic jumped from gourmet food to gossip in a moment.

— Was Mang God’s Weibo really stolen?

— There was no broadcast and no notice today.

— There’s no broadcast because of the holidays, right?

“It wasn’t stolen,” Ling Meng saw the question, “I asked him.”

— Eh?? Was it really a confession??!

— Was it a confession to you, Lemon Daddy?

“No way, I don’t shine,” Ling Meng denied. “What thing will shine, fireflies cultivating into humans?”

— Haven’t seen Poison Tongue Lemon Dad in a long time!

— My Lemon Dad is a hamster spirit.

— Not a pufferfish?

— Just now, Lemon Dad…are you eating vinegar?

— The lemon is already sour, ah!

Ling Meng wanted to say that Mang God intended to take a lover, but, in case Mang God’s girlfriend powder was watching, he thought about how sad it was to hurt people and simply didn’t mention it.

“The first steamed bun was delicious, I have a lot of confidence in the second one.”

Ling Meng ate the second one with confidence.

“Well, this is….” Ling Meng frowned, “sweet?”

— Sweet steamed bun? Pumpkin stuffing?

— Since there’s plum meat stuffing, maybe this is sweet and sour stuffing.

— Lighting a candle for Ling Meng’s lottery.

“No, no,” Ling Meng waved his hand, nibbling at the upper edge of the bun showing a little cream, “It’s not meat, it’s cream.”

— Cream?? Who puts cream in steamed buns???

— Dessert bun?

— Lemon Dad, there’s something on your mouth.

Ling Meng licked the cream off his lips.

— Cream-licking Lemon Dad! So meng!

— Did anyone take a screenshot? Requesting!

“Is it because I said today that I wanted to eat meat zongzi, not sweet ones – is this revenge by the food?” Ling Meng was depressed.

— What? Lemon Dad actually eats salty zongzi? We can’t be friends anymore…

— Hahaha! Salty zongzi party upstairs!

— My household’s meat zongzi are delicious, send a few to Lemon Dad, eh?

Ling Meng solemnly stared at the bitten stuffed bun for a long time: “I think I know what the stuffing is.”

He put the bun close to the camera so the audience could see clearly: “It’s mango banji stuffing.”

— Refreshing the worldview!

— Mango banji…can actually be made into steamed buns!

— Wait, wait! High-temperature steamed mangoes and cream…you can still eat it?!

— Our mango banji here are all frozen and preserved, ah!

“Sour, really sour,” Ling Meng shook his head. “I think this mango has been over-steamed.”

— Poor Lemon Dad, don’t eat it if it’s bad!

“These steamed buns I bought will be eaten through my tears. ‘The person who wastes food will go hungry.’ Besides, I’ve eaten stuffing way worse than this.”

— If you eat, you’ll get sick!!

“Don’t fear, I bought medicine,” Ling Meng picked up the medicine box and shook it, “The pharmacy’s year-round promotion, 80% off on medicine if you buy steamed buns.”

— Are you so reluctant to throw it away because it’s mango stuffing?

— My Lemon Dad obviously likes apples.

— Mango, Mango!

— Apple, Apple!

— The Guava party trembled.

Shan Zhu: Don’t eat bad food.

Ling Meng was stunned by the sudden Penguin message.

Ling Meng: Are you watching the stream? Didn’t you go home?

Shan Zhu: Hmm.

Shan Zhu: Didn’t go back.

Eighty percent likely it was because he was accompanying the firefly spirit.

Ling Meng: It’s alright, we who eat at the second canteen year round have ironclad stomachs.

Ling Meng: After I eat the buns, let’s ride in the black, okay?

Ling Meng: If you’re accompanying someone, forget it.

Ling Meng was a person who acted very unusually in delicate situations.

Shan Zhu: I’m buying something at the supermarket, wait for me to return.

Ling Meng: You’re watching the stream outside?? Data is so expensive!

Shan Zhu: Not too expensive.

Ling Meng: …

I hate local tyrants.

Ling Meng was suddenly happy. Shan Zhu would still ride in the black with him. He ate the rest of the bun in two or three bites, so he didn’t have to think about the taste of it.

“Going to finish eating! We’re going to ride the black later!”

— The unscrupulous anchor is once again cheating money by chatting live.

— Well, my Lemon Dad smiles so sweetly every day, what to do.

— The doctor said if I ate sweet things again, I’d have to get fillings. Can I not watch this broadcast?

— From sour to twinkling and sweet in the blink of an eye; is this the power of the mango banji?

— The lemon is not sour, the straight man is going to bend.

Ling Meng ignored them and found a single-player game to pass the time.

The game had a voice-controlled character; with low pitch, the character would run, with high pitch, the character would jump. (t/n: he’s playing )

And so the stream was filled with the sound of Ling Meng’s voice, high and low: “Jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao…Daddy! Daddy!

“Dad! Ah, Dad! Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy!! Ah~~~~~”

The timing of his shouting wasn’t well-grasped and the character fell into a pit. The game restarted.

“I just shouted a little early. This time, I have experience. I swear if I don’t make it over, I’ll eat a lemon. Jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao….Daddy! Daddy!

“Jiao jiao jiao jiao…Daddy! Dad! Dad! Dad! Daddy, ah!!!!”

— Live Broadcast Face Slap X2

— Lemon Dad’s “jiao” is very overwhelming.

— Waiting patiently for someone to say, child, don’t be sad, just treat me as your father.

The process continued until he had slapped his face 30 times on stream; he still hadn’t beat the level. Ling Meng made the angry pufferfish face.

“Who designed this broken game? Delete, delete.”

— Lemon Dad heartache 233333

— Quick deletion! I’m going to laugh until I choke!

Just then, Shan Zhu sent a message, saying he was at the dormitory.

“No more, now we’ll ride in the black.” Ling Meng happily opened the Galaxy client.

— Who are you driving in the black with tonight? An apple or a mango?

— Bet a zongzi it’s an apple.

— No, no, it must be a mango.

“Whoever comes, I’ll drive with anyone.” Ling Meng’s expression twisted. “Why do I suddenly have a stomach ache?”

— We all said don’t eat the bun!!!

— Take your medicine!!

“Oh, oh,” Ling Meng hurried to pour a glass of water and struggled to swallow the medicine.

“How long for this medicine to take effect?” Ling Meng’s stomach hurt more and more, he should have known to take the medicine earlier.

— Get to the bathroom!

Ling Meng shook his head. He didn’t feel quite right, how could a stomach ache from food hurt so badly? His right lower abdomen was so painful that he started to sweat.

— Lemon Dad doesn’t look right!

— This steamed bun is too lethal!

— Is there anyone around? If not, just go to the hospital!

— Where’s your roommate? Where are the other students?

— Lemon Dad, tell me your address, I’ll call you an ambulance!

Now, however, Ling Meng was out of everyone’s sight, laying on the desk in agony, almost breathless from the pain.

Hundreds of thousands of viewers watched anxiously like ants on a hot pot as their Dad fell down in front of the camera.

— Who has real life contact info for Lemon Dad??

— I remember that Lemon Dad is in North Hebei University City?

— How many colleges and universities are there in the University City, how can we find him?

— What about the housekeeper? Does the housekeeper have Lemon Dad’s phone number?

Housekeeper LittleFlyingTeddy: I don’t!!! What to do!!! I’m going crazy!!!

— What don’t we call the police?

— Contact the platform, the platform must require a phone number when registering!

Everyone said they had ides but they actually were all helpless, until they heard a loud bang, as if someone had slammed open the door of Ling Meng’s room.

“MengMeng! MengMeng!”

A young man rushed in.

— Great, someone’s coming!!

— Mango Lao-Ge??

— Apple!!

“How are you, MengMeng? Where does it hurt?” Shan Zhu turned Ling Meng over on the desk, only to see he was pale with his brow furrowed, groaning in pain.

“Is anyone here? Anyone?” Shan Zhu shouted and the students next door and in the opposite room ran out to check when they heard the cries.

“What’s going on? …MengMeng! What’s wrong with MengMeng?”

“Call 120!”

“…oh oh oh!”

He reacted quickly to run back and grab a phone to call. Shan Zhu glanced over and saw a lot of people were brushing the chat on Ling Meng’s screen.

The anxious audience saw Apple’s handsome face rush towards the camera. He grabbed the headset and said quickly: “We’ll take MengMeng to the hospital right away, don’t worry.”

Shan Zhu shut down the broadcast and lifted up Ling Meng, who was severely in pain. “MengMeng, hold on, the ambulance will be here soon, we’ll go downstairs first.”

“Ah…”

Though the broadcast showed a black screen, the audience still didn’t leave.

— I hope my Lemon Dad is alright!

— Blessings blessings blessings blessings!

— How could food poisoning be so serious? It’s not acute appendicitis, is it?

— Huh? Wouldn’t that mean surgery?

— My Lemon Dad has to get knifed 55555

— Fortunately Mango Lao-Ge came in time!

— Mango Lao-Ge was maybe watching the broadcast too!

— Since everyone is saying Mango Lao-Ge, then I’d like to say, doesn’t anyone think Mango Lao-Ge’s voice is very familiar??!

—

Footnotes:

1. bend: to be turned from straight to gay

2. drainage: tasteless messages being posted online

3. zombie powder (僵尸粉): artificial followers, can also be a term for inactive or maliciously registered accounts

4. feeling and sending (有感而发): to feel something deeply and spontaneously express it through words or art

5. zongzi (粽子): a type of dumpling made of glutinous rice and stuffed with filling, traditionally eaten during the Dragon Boat Festival

6. true love fans: fanatic fans who view their idol as a major influence in their life

7. eating vinegar: slang for feeling jealous, vinegar = sour = lemon

8. banji (班戟): Hong Kong-style pancake, loan word from English

—

MengMeng….? MengMeng?!