CH 95

“Count.”

“Haa, cough, cough.”

When I came to my senses, I was sitting in the coffin, coughing and coughing.

‘What? That dream. Why did I see the previous world? And also the me of that world… is dead.’

Why did I have a dream related to my personal past during the ordination ceremony to become a priestess? 

In the final scene of my dream, I became Erin Spilet. And when I faced Erin’s reflection, her old memories came back.

But it wasn’t just memories.

Even her feelings for Rupert came in full force, causing pain in my chest. Now that I discovered he’d become the Demon King when Erin’s old feelings were added to it, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. 

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But the reason I didn’t was because of the person next to me.

Enoch still held my hand tightly and patted me on the back. My whole body was drenched in sweat.

I couldn’t cry in front of this man because of Erin’s past love for Rupert.

With my eyes straining not to cry, I looked around to see that it was already dark outside the window. It was night.

“I… How…”

The High Priest wasn’t there, and Priestess Christina was dozing in the chair on the side. And Enoch, as promised, was by my side.

As my shaking body gradually calmed down from the hand firmly holding my shoulder, I remembered every moment of my dream.

Still in a daze, I saw Christina approaching us. 

She recited a prayer as she touched my head, forehead, and lips with her fingertips. Then, my consciousness, which had been erratic until then, gradually regained stability.  

“Good work, go in now and get some rest.”

“Is it… Is it over?”

“Almost. It’ll be over once you come here tomorrow and formally greet the priests.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you.”

Enoch helped me get up, but I staggered because my legs had lost strength. So, Enoch lifted me and hugged me before I even had time to be embarrassed.

I was a bit embarrassed, but Priestess Christina seemed uninterested, busy arranging the sacred relics around her. I didn’t have the strength either, so I just leaned on Enoch’s shoulder.

“…How long did it take?”

“About six hours.” Answering my question faithfully, he raised his arm and hugged me again.

I remained silent until Enoch went to my room and put me on the bed.

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The tangled memories still confused me, but the warmth of the arms tightly holding me helped calm my emotions.

‘Erin’s feelings… are in the past. And now, I promised a future with this person.’

When he sat me down on the bed, I finally looked up and met his eyes.

Enoch stroked my head and said, “You worked hard. Get some rest.”

Was it because I had the dream? For some reason, I felt terribly lonely. Unknowingly, I grabbed the hem of Enoch’s robe as he turned and tried to leave.

“Count…?”

When he looked back in more than necessary surprise, I muttered, “Oh, that… I’d like to talk to you. If you’re not busy…”

I flushed because I realized he might misunderstand my intention. Enoch sat next to the bed, avoiding my gaze as his face flushed, and I knew I was right. 

Then he lifted the blanket and put it over my body. Only then did I realize that my body was still intermittently shaking.

I stared blankly at Enoch. “Your Highness.”

Perhaps because of my anxiety, I felt the urge to tell him everything. I thought that if even one person knew the real me, I’d be a little less lonely.

“Your Highness, actually I…”

I hadn’t given much thought to how he would take it. However, Enoch’s calm gaze put my heart at ease, and I just wanted to confide in him.

“I’m not Erin Spilet.” 

I threw it like that and looked at Enoch’s reaction. Enoch’s eyes widened slightly, but his calm expression soon returned.  

“I, so. On the wedding day, I possessed Erin Spilet. I mean… My original name was Hyerin…”

The more I talked, the more confused I was. I wasn’t sure if I was saying the right thing.

In my dream, I was already Erin Spilet. I even remembered all of Erin’s memories. Her memories weren’t from a book and remained as mine. Then who was I now?

“Ah…” I tried to cover my head with both hands, but Enoch’s warm hand held one. 

He began to speak softly.

“While you were asleep, I had a little talk with Priestess Cristina.”

I waited patiently for his next words.

“The priestess ordination ceremony is different from that of ordinary priests, and it’s a ceremony to put the scattered fragments of the spirit back into place.”

“Scattered fragments of a spirit?”

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“Count, you just said you weren’t Erin Spilet.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know. I’m definitely not from this world. No, I knew I wasn’t. But after the dream I just had, Erin’s memories came back…”

As I spoke, the emotions that I had suppressed came back. I bowed my head, not knowing what to do with the tears flowing down my face. “I’m sorry, suddenly.”

Enoch wiped my tears and calmly said, “I don’t know because I haven’t studied theology either, but apparently, the moment the priestesses are born, their consciousness becomes fragments scattered to another world.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said a while ago that you’re not from this world, that Hyerin and Erin Spilet, who’s here now, are the same person. Fragments of consciousness lived in different worlds.”

I blinked as I dazedly listened to his words. I didn’t fully understand it, but I thought I knew what he meant. Indeed, the current me had memories of Hyerin as well as memories of Erin.

“Actually, I’m not sure why that happens. However, we know that the first emperor, Rikephoros, went through the same thing. And that gave him a special power.”

I nodded slightly while I listened to his story, and soon enough, my tears stopped.

“There were times when I thought that might be the case. After the wedding, you didn’t think of Rupert at all…” Enoch stared at me with a strange look in his eyes. After a moment’s pause, he said, “If the memories come back… By any chance, Rupert again…” 

He trailed off. I knew what he was going to say.

I changed my hand’s position, covered his own, and grabbed it. Then, I shook my head.

Of course, it wasn’t just that I didn’t care. The lingering feelings and pity for Rupert were buried in Erin’s memory, but it was not enough to be shaken by it.

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When I saw Enoch’s relief, I knew I had made the right choice. I didn’t want him to feel unsettled at this point.

Enoch, who looked depressed, smiled faintly and stroked the back of his neck. “Haa, I showed you something unpleasant.”

“It’s not easy to look unpleasant with Your Highness’ face.”

As soon as I answered, Enoch’s eyes widened. It was adorable to see that this person had a naive side.

“Memories of the previous world and those of Erin’s now suddenly came together, so I was confused. I didn’t know that the ordination ceremony would be like this.”

“Don’t worry. The hard work is over.”

Knock, knock–.

A priest shouted outside the door. “Your Highness, Your Highness, the Crown Prince. A person claiming to be your aide–Hey, look!”

Bang, bang–!

“Your Highness, are you there?”

“Tsk,” Enoch clicked his tongue as he approached and opened the door. 

Then Liam, whose face was flushed red, stepped inside with a sigh. “Your Highness! How long are you going to keep me waiting? Do you know how much work is piled up–mph–!”

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As soon as the door opened, Enoch covered Liam’s mouth at the nagging that poured in like a storm. Then, he mumbled something and pushed Liam out the door before closing it again.

Embarrassed, he leaned against the door and stared at me. I teased him and asked, “Your Highness, you must be busy. By the way, how many hours have you been here?”

Then Enoch strode forward and rushed to make an excuse. “Liam is just making a fuss. Don’t worry about him.”

Bang, bang, bang–!

But Liam was still pounding on the door, so I finally gave Enoch a push on the back.

“Hey, come on, go. The Crown Prince can’t be negligent about country affairs.”

Enoch looked at me with eyes that seemed to keep his feet on the ground, but I didn’t think this person should be here for this long.

He sighed heavily and opened the door again.

“Ugh!” Liam, who had been leaning against the door and knocking on it, stumbled, but Enoch didn’t even spare him a glance.

He looked at me affectionally. “I’ll come to see you in a week.”

“I’ll train hard.”

After a brief kiss on the cheek, Enoch left the room.

When he left, and the door closed, a deep silence fell. I trudged over to the bed, sat down, put my legs together, and hugged them with both arms.

It was a day I was grateful for and sorry for Enoch’s kindness. So, I prayed and prayed that Rupert’s afterimages would end today.

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And I replayed the story in my head. So, the fragments of my consciousness have lived as Hyerin and Erin, respectively, and at the same time merged into Erin’s body when Hyerin died. Was that possible?

No matter how much I thought about it, it wasn’t something I could easily come to terms with.

I stopped thinking about it and went to the bathroom to wash up.