"It's not that..." she tried to explain.
"I know it now, but I was young at that time, blinded by my own beliefs and failed to understand things. After I came to England, I waited for you to call me or message me but you never did. Instead, you had your men around me and got updates from them but you never bothered to call me directly to ask how I was doing. If I am fine in that new place, If I am eating well, If I could even sleep in an unknown place. I waited and waited but there was no use."
"I am sorry," she said, feeling bad about it.
"You don't need to be sorry," he assured, "I know it was my father's decision but you approving it hurt me. But then, now I understand why my father had to take that decision. It must have been tough for him as well."
"What did you understand?" she asked.
"Being a man and then my father, he knew other man and his own son well. He must have already thought about what could happen if he kept me here around you. I was already stubborn even when I was young and had started to consider you as my wife. Father must have been worried when I would grow up and understand things, I might trouble you thinking you are my wife. It must have made things worse so he preferred to send me away."
"So you know yourself well," she concluded, seeing him clear with understanding.
"I do now. And I think by sending me away, father did well. It helped to not get things worse for us."
"Father would be happy to know that you understand the decision he made for you," she commented.
"Father is already aware of it. And I bet he was the first person to know my feelings towards you but he never showed it to me. He was worried everything would only hurt you."
She agreed, "Father really cares for us all but he never shows it openly. All he does is to do things that are good for us."
Lu Lijun agreed and then asked, "Why did you never call me?"
Jiang Yuyan didn't want to tell him all those reasons behind her decision but she chose to tell him at least one of them, "You had started taking that marriage thing seriously. I wanted you to stay away from me and I thought this way you would slowly forget about it. I was guilty for messing up with your life when you started calling me your wife when you were just a kid."
"That's it?" he asked, looking at her.
Jiang Yuyan paused for a while as she knew she could not tell him the other reason. This one should be enough. "Hmm, that's it," and then changed the topic before he could ask more to her, "But I am still upset that you watched it all when you were just fifteen."
"Then, when was the first time you watched it?" he asked.
Her face turned red, "Don't ask me."
"That's not fair. When you ask me I answered honestly," he countered.
"Do you really want to know?" she asked, with a conflicted look.
"Hmm, I am sure of it."
"It was a gift from brother Yang on my eighteenth birthday," she replied.
He laughed a little, "Every girl out there should have such a brother," he then thought about something, "Gifting was his decision but watching was totally your so don't blame him."
"Do you think my brother is that easy? He was sure I would not watch it so as a return gift he said I have to watch it and forced me to make a promise that I would not avoid it. That means I was not allowed to keep the video playing for the sake of it and then close my eyes."
"Then did you listen to him?" he asked.
"I had to. He was aware of what possibilities there were with me and left no place to run away for me. But it was better than him offering me to watch it together with him."
"He did well," Lu Lijun praised.
"He was just worried that I will be a dumb one by being oblivious to these things. Unlike others, I had no friends either as friends are mostly the source of your knowledge about these things. Brother was the only friend I had and he did everything a friend could do for another friend."
"He raised you well," Lu Lijun praised, "So well that I can not help but fall for the mess he has raised."
"Mess?" she frowned.
"The kind I like," Lu Lijun added.
"What kind of logic is this? You call me a mess and then claim to like me."
"Love not just like," he corrected her, "I love you as the phase of simply liking passed by long back."
"By the way, who was the one to tell you to watch it?" she asked. "Like it was brother Yang for me."
"Boys don't need to be told. We are aware of it but yeah Jake was the first one to bring it," he informed.
"Jake?" It shocked her.
"Why are you surprised?"
"I thought it must be Noah."
"Trust me, Noah was the most innocent one of us three. We two are the ones to spoil him."
"Really?"
He nodded with a smile, "In front of others he maintained his image of the Prince but he was more adventurous kind and interested in these things. But later things changed and due to some reason he turned quiet."
"Things between him and Noah?" she asked.
"Hmm," after a certain incident both changed. Jake turned quiet and reserved while Noah turned bold and outspoken."
"At that time I was relieved to see you have two good friends with you."
"Even I am thankful to have them. With them around, life felt less complicated as if those two were my escape. I could endure everything that I felt during those years."
"I can understand," she said as the atmosphere around them was serious.
Lu Lijun observed a genuinely concerned face of her and then said, "Then, you should also understand what I am thinking at this moment."
"Huh?" she looked at him, feeling puzzled.
He gave her a meaningful look and she smiled, "I understand really well," she said and kissed him.
"You sure are so smart," he commented between the kiss as his hand moved to the back of her head to pull her into a deep kiss and his other hand went to her back to pull her closer to him.
When they parted, she smiled at him as she looked into his eyes, "Thank you for sharing a part of your life with me that I had missed. I want to know everything about what you have gone through during these past ten years. I want to know the one that I had hurt and sent away from me."
He caressed her cheeks with his thumb, "I will love to share it with you."
Both smiled and kissed once again.
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A/N- In the month of March, privileged subscription will be only for 100 coins for the highest tier (50 chapters- 100 coins)
From 7th-17th march there will be no chapters as I will be busy travelling and attending webnovel's event. Updates will be lesser as it's a busy month but I will try to update as much as I can. Will go back to normal from April.