CH 65

“It’s over now. That was my whole life, and I have nothing more to say.”

“…”

“Everything I told you was a lie.”

Rosen looked straight at Ian and spit it out. She prayed that this would sound true to him. That she lied to him.

And it was just her greed, but she wanted him to know that she didn’t lie until the end.

What was he thinking?

“How do you feel about being tricked? Our proud war hero?”

“Fine.”

“Don’t pretend that nothing is wrong.”

Rosen brought the gun closer to him, as if telling him to wake up from his dream. 

‘The me he likes is not the real me, but the Rosen Walker I made up.’

‘I betrayed people for the sake of an illusion that will collapse like a sandcastle when waves hit.’

It was a shameless excuse, but she really didn’t want things to turn out this way. She didn’t want to fool him. All she wanted was to run away. Ian Kerner belatedly noticed her prison break plans and prevented them, but she soon forgot about her plan and wanted a nice ending.

Rosen thought he would be mad this time.

Nevertheless, the reason she told him the truth was that he put a loaded gun in her hand without hesitation…

And because she loved him.

It’s love that keeps you looking back even though you know you shouldn’t. Even though she knew that it wouldn’t happen, every time the sirens blared in Leoarton, she worried that the man living in the sky would fall…

‘If he can forgive me I’ll dare to give that feeling the name of love. I’ll never be able to say it openly.’

“I do not care.”

A voice returned, drowning and sinking, like scratching at the bottom of the sea.

It was then that she realized something was wrong. Ian tilted his head and kissed Rosen.

In an instant, her mind turned white. This wasn’t it. He should be angry now. 

In this way… she couldn’t. 

But he kept saying the same thing regardless of her confused expression.

“It didn’t matter from the beginning. I told you.”

“Are you stupid? Do you not understand? I killed him! All the evidence points to me. You know that. You’re ignoring it now. Did you know from the start? Why are you fooled by a lie that doesn’t make sense?!”

He just stared at her silently. Then he pointed to the beast that was clinging to her and glaring at him.

“It’s good that this is on your side. It eases my worries. Now the things in the sea will be on your side.”

He moved ahead of her and started busily doing something. As he turned levers, and pushed buttons, the lifeboat began to move.

“Don’t you believe that I killed him? How do I prove it?”

“Don’t.”

“…”

“Not to me, not to anyone… don’t prove anything. You don’t have to.”

Rosen ended up dropping the handgun he handed her to the floor.

“You did well. You came all the way here alone… That’s a lot of trouble. And I’m sorry. That is all I can say.”

Ian Kerner was crying. 

He was crying in front of her.

He must have never cried in front of anyone since he was weaned. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be making sounds like that, and there was no way he could endlessly shed tears that he couldn’t bear to hide without a single whimper. Like he had forgotten how to cry.

“8 to 50 years for murder under Imperial law.”

“…”

“Seventeen to twenty-five. Eight years,” 

He whispered, hugging her. His calloused hands brushed the nape of her neck. 

Eight years. 

Come to think of it, it had been 8 years. That much time had passed since killing Hindley Haworth. 

Buried in his arms, Rosen remembered the past eight years.

What she told him was only a very small part of her life. And yet, the moment Ian hugged her, she felt like he knew everything about her.

When she couldn’t say anything, he firmly placed the gun in her hand that had fallen to the floor.

“You are not guilty. And your sentence is already over, Rosen. You have no reason to be punished more than that…”

“…”

“So please be free.”

The mechanism moved, and the lifeboat slowly moved up onto the deck. The beast clung to her back. Ian took her hand and started climbing the stairs. The entrance to the deck was narrow, and when she looked up, all she could see was the night sky.

Rosen came out on the deck feeling dazed, as if in a dream.

He moved quicker than her. 

Rosen watched him load water, food, and maps into the lifeboat. 

No matter how she looked at it, it seemed to be all prepared in advance. 

Otherwise, there would be no way he could load everything so quickly.

‘So to free me, he…’

From his belt came the keys Rosen so desperately wanted. Only then did she come to her senses and hurriedly push him away. He was acting crazy. Perhaps committing the most reckless, immoral, and irrational thing of his life.

“You are a soldier. You’re a prison guard…”

“…Yes.”

“A war hero.”

“Right.”

“You don’t know what will happen if you release me? Is this the honor you gave your life for!? Is it worth it? You’re going to throw it away like this in an instant?”

Rosen was thinking of betraying Ian Kerner. Apart from liking him, she wanted to escape. So, no matter how she planned to betray him, it wasn’t like this. This wasn’t her plan.

“I know.”

“Do you know?”

It was clear he was insane. 

Would he come to his senses if she slapped his cheek? 

Then, like someone waking up from a dream, would he shudder and withdraw from her?

Would he stop doing all this crazy sh!t and go back to being the rational person he was when he first met her?

Rosen had never thought for a moment that he would move according to her will. Instead, he was acting more like an idiot than ever. This was definitely something to be excited about…

Rosen wanted to shout. 

‘Why are you like this? Believing me even knowing that everything I said was a lie.’

He stared at her quietly. Fortunately, he wasn’t crying anymore. It was truly fortunate. If she had kept watching Ian cry, she would have started crying too. At this point where she needed to be calm more than anything, she couldn’t be like that…

“Why do you think I unchained you in the first place?”

“You are… ”

“You really don’t know?”

Instead of an obvious answer, a question came back. He hugged her again and kissed the nape of her neck. The moment his lips, chapped from jumping into the sea to rescue her, touched her skin, Rosen had no choice but to admit it.

That she already knew the answer. 

His dreamy voice rang in her ears.

“I just wanted to meet you.”

He shoved her into the lifeboat and put his hand on the lever. The rusty chains for lowering the lifeboats hung over the deck. Rosen couldn’t bear to look at him any longer and tried to look away.

What he was trying to give her was too much.

At that moment, Ian grabbed her face so she couldn’t turn her head. She was forced to meet his gray eyes. When she first met him, she thought that color with unknown temperature was unpleasant.

“Do not worry. I’ve been crazy for a lot longer than you think. Now that I’ve heard your full story, I’ll be able to stay sane.”

“I-“

“You asked how it felt to be lied to by you. I think you wouldn’t believe me if I said it felt good… I just said it didn’t matter.”

But now she felt that his gray eyes were a very warm color. Like ashes that were still burning.

He put her hand on the lifeboat’s engine. At that moment, a blue light radiated from her fingertips. The engine vibrated. She was amazed at its strength, but Ian only raised the corner of his mouth, not at all surprised.

Strange words were whispered in her ear.

“May your lies last forever.”

“…”

“I hope you can fool everyone, not just me. I hope it will eventually become the truth, I hope you will always be okay.”

Rosen tried to say something, but nothing came to mind. He looked at her with eyes that seemed to be missing something, then quickly untied the red muffler from his neck. 

A symbol of victory flying in the sky throughout the long war.

“You won. You had to win from the start.”

He wrapped his muffler around her neck. It was a gesture that seemed to protect them both from the cold wind. He hugged her one last time and grabbed the lifeboat lever.

The lifeboat was slowly lowered to the surface. 

He spoke loudly, shouting over the whir and clank of the chains.

“I love you, Rosen Walker.”

“…”

“Whether you believe it or not… It is not a lie.”

The corners of Ian’s mouth went up. The gloom that always hung over his face was blown away by the wind. He looked relieved.

Then he smiled brightly.

Unlike the propaganda material that contained him frozen in time, he, who was looking down at her, came to life in front of her eyes. And she could hear his laugh.

She could tell it was his real laugh. It was less solemn than everyone knew and slightly more mischievous, with a boyish smile. A smile resembling the blue sky.

And she watched his smile, as if bewitched.

‘In my younger days, what did I think when I saw a plane flying in the sky?’

‘There were days when shells rained down and the lights in the village went out. Inside and outside the prison… I always crouched down and stared at the sky. Fear swallowed us whole, and despair covered the world. The abyss-like scenery made even me, who was always imprisoned with or without bars, depressed.’

‘Just then, I raised my head and looked at him as I am now. As the planes flew through the sky, he fell from the sky with a confident smile. Oddly enough, seeing that smile made me feel like everything would be fine.’

‘What makes life go on is, after all, someone’s lies. Because it is not always the cruel reality that lifts a person stuck in the mud but a beautiful lie as distant as a rainbow. When taking pictures for propaganda, he must have known that. That’s why he got on his plane with the corners of his mouth raised, his eyes curled, with an uncharacteristically bright smile.’

‘But it wasn’t always a sincere smile.’

‘…I like the fact that he finally laughed for real.’

‘Looking at me, because of me.’

Rosen shouted aimlessly, not knowing whether he could hear her or not.

“If we meet again…”

“…”

“I won’t lie. Then I’ll really have something to say to you, Ian!”

“Don’t get caught this time.”

His answer came right away. 

Rosen smiled. 

‘Oh, he must have heard it.”

“We will definitely meet again!”

The lifeboat touched the surface. Dozens of monsters swarmed around her. They were stingrays. Each was emitting a blue color, like starlight. They jumped across the sea, as if flying, to light her path. The beast sitting on her shoulder also jumped into the water.

There were no stars in the dark, overcast night sky. However, the expanse of the sea in front of them was no longer black.

The fog that floated over the sea cleared, and a group of lights formed a path. She could tell right away which way it was going.

Walpurgis Island.

Rosen was about to put her hand on the engine again to speed things up, but then she stopped and looked back. Maria told her never to look back, but she really couldn’t help it. She had always been one who stepped out to watch a rainbow.

Ian Kerner stood on the deck of the steamboat that floated silent like a ghost ship.

It was far enough away that she could no longer hear him, but she was sure he was still smiling.

From a distance, his red muffler that she was wearing would blow in the wind, making it look like a red flag symbolizing victory.

She hoped she could be a victory for him at this moment. Just like he did for her throughout the long war.

-May your lies last forever.

If a lie is forever, it can become the truth.

If you hold on, will you finally meet the truth at the end?

-I hope you can fool everyone, not just me. I hope it will eventually become the truth, I hope you are always okay.

Rosen puffed out her chest and turned towards the black waves.

“One man’s blood, one wish, some magic.”

‘Walburg, give me strength. The power I always had but was always taken away. The very power that has been dormant within me.’

Blue heat whirled in her hands.

Light poured from her cold hands. The dazzling blue light looked like fireworks and starlight in the night sky. The vortex she created was sucked into the empty engine. Against the wind, the boat began to move vigorously.

Her eyes burned hot. Water droplets ran down her cheeks.

‘Is this sadness?’

‘No, my heart is beating too fast. So, this is not sadness, but liberation.’

‘As always, I am moving forward.’

‘Once again, I will overcome everything that tries to defeat me and disappear beyond the horizon to survive.’

‘Hold on until my lies finally become the truth.’

Rosen cast a blue light into the gray air in the face of the blowing wind. 

And laughed.

‘For my lies that will continue into the future.’

‘For my eternal victory.’