CH 69

The emperor already had two children with Empress Sione. On the surface, it was correct that the emperor appeared with the pregnant woman in front of the empress. That’s why they were afraid that the rumors might be true.

“He went hunting in the forest where Mother lives and was injured, so I treated him.”

“It seems that everyone in the world is cursing Mother.”

“I wondered why my Baby’s face was gloomy. It must have been because of that.”

“The third child should have been Ioella, but they said she was pushed back after I was born…”

“Baby, if I had known in advance that he has a family, I would never have kept seeing him. At that time, I was so foolish that I didn’t even know he was the emperor and believed he was an illegitimate son of a noble family.”

“…Does Mother loves His Majesty Father who cheated on you?”

“I used to be like that.”

“Not now…?”

“Because the color of Zero’s eyes has returned to normal.”

When asked if she loved his father, his mother said that the color of Zero’s eyes had changed.

“Zero?”

“It’s a cat I’ve raised since I was little. The child’s name is Zero.”

“Where is it now?”

“I don’t know. It disappeared before you were born.”

“…”

“Same as Zero. It might have been better off not loving him.”

If she didn’t love, there was nothing to expect. There won’t be any pain waiting for someone who won’t come.

“I’m glad… that Mother doesn’t love His Majesty Father.”

“Why… did you think like that?”

“I don’t want Mother to cry.”

“…Baby.”

“Just like now… Mother and me… with the maid… the three of us live together.”

“Yes. Three of us, let’s live happily. Without crying and always laughing.”

He considered it was glad that his mother didn’t love his father anymore.

“You’re my world, my everything. An existence that made this Mother, abandoned by her family, was able to survive.”

“…Mom.”

“My dear Baby, happy birthday in advance.”

However, even that was too much for the three of them, who just wanted to live happily.

“Madam said sorry… for leaving His Royal Highness and went first.”

“…Maid.”

Crying and laughing. He couldn’t do anything like that anymore.

One day when he felt like getting used to the morning when she had to wake up alone. He was spending time in the flower garden without thinking, and he heard a meow, making him turn his head. A cat with the color of his mother’s and father’s eyes was staring at him. As he approached it, the cat put down the brooch it held in its mouth and quietly disappeared. That was the first and last strange encounter with Zero, his mother’s cat.

“By any chance… Do you know about Zero?”

“…Zero? Did your mother tell you?”

“A few days ago… I met it. Its eye color is different… pink and… gold?”

“Foolish thing. I’ve always told it not to get close to humans like that.”

“…”

“I knew she had a lot of affection, but… she couldn’t erase her love until the end. She’s foolish enough. Stupid thing…”

It was a pure lie to say that Arensis didn’t expect it. Even until the moment she was burned to ashes, his mother still loved his father.

* * *

“I tried… to never have a precious person again.”

“…”

“I put it in my heart because… I didn’t want to do it again, living my whole life without being able to move on.”

“…”

Charelize knew all about it before she lost her memory, but he never told her what he was thinking.

“Until I hold that little hand that gave me a chance to live… I lived like that.”

“…sorry.”

“It’s not Your Highness’s fault… that you can’t remember.”

“It’s not that…”

“?”

“I left Your Royal Highness alone and died first.”

Charelize hadn’t been by his side from the start, so rather than not knowing, she thought it would be harder for him to be alone because the person he had been with was gone.

Charelize recalled the memories of spending time together with someone and realized that time would never go back was something she had never gotten used to, no matter how many times she thought about it. Lona, Delphir, her baby, her mother. They were the people she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.

Charelize could understand Arensis’s heart. That’s why she apologized, even though it was something she couldn’t even remember.

“My mother and the maid all died, and a few new servants came. I told them not to go into my mother’s room, but they couldn’t resist their curiosity.”

“Therefore…”

“It wasn’t me who cut off their tongues. Just in time, His Majesty Father was inside..”

Charelize narrowed her brow as soon as she heard that the person who was responsible for ordering his mother to be burned at stake had come late. It was like seeing Duke Marsetta. His guilt toward her mother was nowhere to be found. He could at least ask her for forgiveness and repair their relationship just like a normal father-daughter relationship.

“If I had done it in the first place, they wouldn’t have been here all this time.”

“…Ah.”

It was rumored that Arensis was the one who cut their tongue. He replied that if he really was the one who did it, they wouldn’t be working here now.

“For the first time that day… I was angry with His Majesty Father. I didn’t know what those who broke into my mother’s room said, but at least they were better than him, who ordered her to be burned at stake.”

“…”

“My mother… wasn’t cruel enough to kill the servants she had never seen before for entering her room recklessly.”

“…”

“Just like he did to my mother… If he had put a sword to my throat for being arrogant, I would have felt better on the inside… But I was angry… that he kept repeating that he was sorry.”

Arensis removed the black cloth covering the picture frame hanging on the wall. A woman with light blue hair and pink eyes was shown in the picture, smiling warmly.

“Suddenly… he drew this because he thought he might forget my mother’s face.”

“…So she is the mother of Your Royal Highness.”

Charelize widened her eyes when she noticed the person in the picture was the same as the woman in her dream.

“There were a total of three people who could enter this place, excluding me.”

“…”

“Now… There is only one left,” said Arensis, looking at Charelize.

“Your Royal Highness asked Her Majesty Xavi’s permission to bring Baroness Azwell… May I ask Your Royal Highness doesn’t get along with her?”

“Even if you smile ten times, you become a bad person when you frown once… I knew no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t become a good person forever.”

“?”

“So, I just chose not to smile. Especially for people who hate me.”

No matter how hard he tried to say it, they seldom believed him. Let alone explain to the person who already hated me that he didn’t do it.

Asking what’s the point of doing that, Arensis seemed to have learned how to give up first.

“When I think about the time when I didn’t have anyone until just a short while ago… I don’t have any regrets, Your Highness.”

“That’s weird. I don’t know how precious my life is that Your Royal Highness doesn’t regret it. Still, when I saw Your Royal Highness, even though I don’t remember any memories of being with you, I unconsciously reacted with my heart first.

“I don’t know anything else, but that day… at the tree, I hope Your Highness remembers what you said to me.”

“…At the tree?”

Not knowing what Arensis was talking about, Charelize tilted her head. Seeing her like that, he lifted the corners of his mouth and smiled lovingly.

“I will never forget that day when you reached out to a child who had given up on everything.”

Arensis held out his hand carefully to her. Everyone couldn’t see the various scars on his palm. For those who only saw long, fair fingers, it would have seemed as if he had only grown up beautifully. However, Arensis didn’t hide his palm from Charelize. Again, he brought out all the things inside of him to her.

When it came to Lillian, Charelize remembered Duke Marsetta, who always scolded her without listening. How frustrating was it? She knew how hurt his stomach must be in a similar situation. That he wasn’t loved by his father and also that he lost his mother. She was also taught not to show her emotions carelessly. That’s why she didn’t know how to let someone be by her side.

Charelize and Arensis had many similarities. It was enough to be a connection point. She held his hand. She didn’t want to worry and didn’t even have a reason why she did it.

Even if she couldn’t find her memories, even if it wasn’t the same as before she had lost them, she thought they could communicate and keep being affectionate. Although she won’t get over it right now because she was betrayed by Delphire, the one she loved enough to give her life, it seemed that she wouldn’t let go of the hand she held now.

“We have many similarities.”

“It’s true that it brought us closer. But… I love Your Highness… not just because of our similarities.”

The same went for Lili, who had both light purple and blue eyes. She already knew. However, this was the first time she had heard that he said he loved her directly.

“It’s okay to stay alive. You don’t have to laugh. When you cry, you’re also pretty… Because you’re the one who told me. I love you so much, that’s why I didn’t regret it. That day, I held your hand.” Arensis continued his words as he looked at Charelize, who was perplexed and at a loss for what to do.

The belated sunlight was very warm in the place where he had always been alone. In a place where he always held his breath and cried, Arensis laughed for the first time in a long time. It was thanks to one person, Charelize.