“Alright, we’ll be switching seats.”
The sudden tragedy occurred. Right now, I was sitting in the middle of the classroom, with Natsukawa to my right. Because of this, I could enjoy her scent and perfume on a daily basis (*pervert), but if I ended up in the corner of the room far from her, I won’t be able to enjoy this luxury any longer, the teacher probably won’t call out to me during class either, and I will cease to be the class clown everyone laughs at and teases—Wait, isn’t that something I should be happy about?
“Okay~ Then, next—Ah, Sajou-kun…”
“Eh? Yes…”
We held the seat change with a lottery, and when our homeroom teacher Ootsuki-chan saw my face, her energetic attitude vanished. Eh? Why are you so dejected? Did I do something weird to her before? Oh right, I was late, slept, and even obstructed class. Makes sense that she can’t stand my guts.
“Um, Sensei.”
“W-What is it?”
“I’ll try to take it more seriously from now on, okay? Probably.”
“What do you mean probably…Just take it seriously either way.”
If my attention were at a value of 100%, then a solid 98% would always be directed at Natsukawa. At the same time, I’ll get to have some proper sleep because I’m not staying up all night, too excited to meet Natsukawa the next day.
I looked up at the blackboard. The lottery proceeds with a ladies-first principle, and the names of the girls are written on the desk location from a top-down view. After reading through all the names from the right end, I spotted Natsukawa’s name.
I see…Second row from the back, in the middle…So basically just one seat behind her current one. Is this really anything fresh, worthy changing seats for? A-Alright, to hell with it…! I’ll definitely keep the same seat! Because I am Natsukawa Aika’s number one fan!
“Number one, huh. Alright, first row next to the hallway.”
Figures. I looked ahead—A wall. I looked to my right—A wall. No scent at all. This couldn’t be any more fresh, to be honest. I was buried between walls and nobody to talk to. I have some literary girl right next to me, barely standing out, but there’s this invisible pressure—a wall that she’s built up between us, as if to tell me what I shouldn’t talk to her.
She already focussed on her reading again, so I guess she must have been annoyed at the Natsukawa group (which involved me) being noisy all the time. I can practically feel the hate coming from her.
I mean, not like I particularly mind. Being surrounded by people I haven’t ever talked to, that just shows what kind of person I really am, and I can use that for my appeal, right? I put my elbow on the desk, playing with my sparthone. From an outsider’s perspective, it must make it seem like ‘Ahh, this guy was seated next to nobody he knows’, right.
Grinning to myself, I thought about this ‘What am I even’ idea, when I suddenly felt a two-hit impact at my ass. What kind of explosive power was that!?
“Yaho, Sajocchi~”
“Who might you be?”
There sat a girl behind me, who used both her feet to kick me…This damn female student A, how could you do that.
“Ahh, how cruel! We’re close enough to fight for Aichi’s love, remember!”
“Hm, I doubt that. There’s no way Natsukawa would take the hand of anybody!”
“What kind of confidence is that…Well, don’t get too upset from sitting that far away from her.”
“Right back at you, Ashida.”
I hate to admit it, but…Ashida undoubtedly is the friend closest to Natsukawa. If I had to guess, Natsukawa has accepted that herself, and has shared secrets with her that she wouldn’t dare speak out loud in front of a boy like me. H-How indecent!
“And? Lonely already?”
Why are you trying to tease me like that? Aren’t you angry that you’re not next to Natsukawa anymore? Not to mention that Natsukawa was always talking to me back then……Huh? I can only see her insulting me for some reason?
However! I am definitely not lonely or anything! Even if I’m separated from my idol Natsukawa, I can still watch her from afar as the fan that I am! Ahh, she’s as beautiful as always…!
“I’m not lonely at all. I got you with me after all.”
The passion for an idol can differ from fan to fan. Focus only on your own feelings, and show your devotion yourself. Just because you get along with others doesn’t mean your passion for them has gone down. That’s why, be a gentleman and voice your honest feelings!
“Ashida, if you also like Natsukawa, then—Huh? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Eh?! Ah…No, don’t mind me!”
“Wah, why are you screaming like that…”
Before I even realized it, I saw Ashida stare at me like a bird that got shot in the face with a peashooter. I thought that maybe she was just teasing me again, but her reaction showed that she really was taken by surprise. I guess the noisy ones really are all from the volleyball club (*Prejudice).
“S-Sajocchi…You’re…even fine with me…?”
“Hell no. Natsukawa all the way.”
The heck is she talking about? There’s no way anybody could be a replacement for Natsukawa…Ouch! Why are you hitting me now!? Not on the ba—Ouch ouch ouch that hurts!
*
Lunch break arrived. After surviving Ashida’s onslaught of attacks, I bought some sweet bread from the school store, and decided to eat lunch at a different location from the usual classroom. That damn Ashida’s glares are really starting to hurt my back…!
Now, where should I eat today? This school’s got a courtyard, and a lot of benches in the front. Although summer is approaching, it still is fairly fresh outside, so a bench in the shadows might be best.
“……Hm?”
In the hallway right at the school entrance, I spotted a small girl with an armband, staggering left and right. She seemed to be carrying a great number of books and other documents in her arms, having me worried just watching her. I looked right, looked left, and after confirming that nobody was around, I didn’t have to worry about seeming suspicious.
“…Um, excuse me.”
“Yeshhh!? Whooo!?”
“…I’m really sorry.”
To think that the person I talked to would take me as someone spicious. That really hurts. I stopped in my tracks, and took a step back from the girl.
“Awawawawa, I’m sorry…! I was just surprised to have someone call out to me…!”
I feel like I called out to her from quite the distance away…not to mention from the opposite end of the hallway. I guess even that was too much for her. Why? My face? Was it my face after all?
As for her, she had curly and mob hair, with a big red ribbon on her head. My so cute, what are you, a doll?
“Um…I thought that must be heavy, so…”
“Eh!? Ah, yes!”
“…Should I help you carry it?”
It seems like me calling out to her turned into some kind of trauma. We kept a solid 5m distance between us even. I’m actually just a suspicious guy now. What kind of distance is this?
“U-Um…I’d feel bad, so…”
“………I see.”
I wonder, why does this feel like I got rejected? Well, that reaction is to be expected, I guess. You wouldn’t like it if a random guy suddenly called out to you, especially if you’re a girl as cute as her—In other words, is it because I’m so cool that she’s just nervous to have me around!? Yeah, definitely not.
*
It was early morning, and the summer heat was slowly setting in. It even felt uncomfortable to sleep, to a level where I didn’t even sleep until my usual time, and instead woke up around the time the elderly were doing stretches. Isn’t this a bit too early? Is what I would think, but I’m not sleepy at all, so I could only prepare to leave earlier than usual.
When I was ready to step out of the house, my older sister Kaede came down from the second floor, her hair still a ruffled up mess, barely wearing her camisole correctly. She gave me that ‘What, just an average-looking guy’ look, and seemed disappointed. You’d definitely not look that way if a handsome guy was with you, right.
Anyway, with my motivation slightly below average, I left the house. If this was some light novel or manga, this is the point where the protagonist of the story would have a fateful encounter with a cute girl. At the same, the protagonist would call themselves totally average and the type you could find anywhere, but in the work itself, they’re still hella handsome. No way they’d sell some anime or manga where the protagonist has grains of rice as eyes.
That’s why they encounter girls left right and center without really doing anything, and if they actually do some work, the chance of that is pretty much 100%. People wouldn’t care about a story otherwise. A good realistic counterpart is the example that happened to me yesterday, when I was trying to act.
‘Huuuh? —–Disgusting’ (Exaggerated)
How do I say this, hearing that from a girl who seems docile and gentle is pretty tough. I couldn’t even taste any of that sweet bread I bought, and got chills despite it being fairly soothing outside…Now I can see why people pay money for that.
“Hey.”
Yeah, it really felt real. Made me realize that I was just conceited about my relationship with Natsukawa. I should probably get a better look at myself again.
“Hey!”
Now that our seats changed like that, this might be the perfect chance. Even from my point of view, only super diligent bastards would be happy about that seat, and it’s even more annoying because the teacher would call you out more frequently, but if I look at it the other way, I can create a better impression of myself, showing that I’m actually turning a new leaf as a student.
“Don’t ignore me!”
“Guha!?”
Because I felt my air supply suddenly cut off, I let out a groan like a frog that just got stepped on. My Adam’s apple…What are you going to do if you turn my voice soprano!? I’ll start singing some Mononoke-type songs, you…!
Imagining my new debut as a singer, I turned around. In doing so, I saw the face of my Goddess.
“…Ah, bliss.”
“Too close!”
“Gueeh!?”
A bag was pushed onto me. That’s my solar plexus, Natsukawa-san…Before even feeling pain, I was wondering if this kind of thing was suddenly popular now. If so, then that’s definitely a bad trend. Also, I still sounded like a frog as before.
“What a harsh way of showing your affection…”
“W-What are you talking about!? There’s no way that—”
“…Yeah, I forgot.”
Out of habit, I blurted out something the old, daydreaming me would say. Thanks to Natsukawa’s spicy (in the negative way) words, I was pulled back to reality.
“…I think it’s fine to hop on a trend, but make sure not to eat the karma.”
“Wha, you’re making it sound like I’m in the bad—Also, hold on already!”
“Hm? Need something?”
First thing in the morning, I get indirectly insulted, get a disgusted reaction, and get hit with a bag. Even if I’m a fan of hers, there’s limits I can take. Before I realized it, I took a certain distance between us, with a bit of a cold attitude. Ah, isn’t this pretty bad? Did I anger her perhaps…?
“…You don’t have to make such a scared face…”
“…Eh?”
Because I heard an unexpectedly cute voice in return, I subconsciously turned around. Standing there was Natsukawa, looking at me with a sulking expression. Eh, how cute is that?
“W-What’s wrong?”
She shouldn’t care about me. I don’t think I’m that important of an existence to her that she would show this kind of attitude towards me. Just what happened, what kind of change occurred inside of her?
“That’s what I’m supposed to ask…Not too long ago, you’d always cling to me no matter what…”
“Ahh…”
Because she showed me an emotional expression that I had never seen from her, directed at only me, I was left baffled. With this unprecedented development, the words got stuck in my throat. My mouth opened and closed in shock, only for Natsukawa to blatantly walk past me with a glare.
…Weird. I stopped being infatuated with Natsukawa about two weeks ago, but this isn’t the reaction of Natsukawa, as well as the people around us, that I expected. I totally thought that she’d become even more popular, having casted aside the nuisance that I was, and forget about me.
“…I don’t get it.”
Why did she even come talk to me in the first place? Wasn’t she fed up with me? If I saw someone I couldn’t stand, I’d take a detour to avoid them. Even if it’s a waste of time, it’s better than being forced to deal with that person.
Guess I should just ask? Not like there’d be much use of hiding what I’m thinking, and it’d honestly be pretty reassuring to know that someone is aware of me and what I’m going through. As a boy, figuring out what a girl is thinking is pretty much impossible, so I might as well go ask someone.
*
“I wonder what Natsukawa thinks of me.”
“That you’re pretty disgusting, I’m sure.”
“………”
Maybe I chose the wrong person? Someone who’d actually consider how I was feeling when being told these words? I appreciate the honesty, but the fact that this answer came out like a bullet from a gun does hurt pretty badly, you damn Ashida…….No, calm down. I’m an adult. I should remain calm, and play along.
“…I see, so she thinks of me as disgusting.”
“Sajocchi…Now I’m starting to feel sad.”
Ehh…weren’t you the one who said it? Don’t look at me like I’m some poor discarded puppy…Alright, forget about that. I’m asking for advice here, so being dejected about the smallest things doesn’t help me.
“Normally, you wouldn’t feel anything just because you’d get treated coldly by some disgusting and annoying guy, right?”
“Huh…? Wait a second. Sajocchi, were you acting distant towards Aichi?”
“…The second we met, she’d get mad at me, and rammed her bag into my stomach, so even I’d be annoyed, you know?”
“A-Ahh…” Ashida covered her face with one hand, like she had figured out something.
She groaned to herself, and looked at me with a troubled expression. Following that, she clapped her hands together.
“So, I don’t think Aichi had any bad intentions with that. No need to take it to heart, and…”
“It’s fine, I’m not too bothered by it. It’s Natsukawa after all.”
“Be bothered by it a bit. Why does Aichi get a special right?” Ashida gave me an annoyed look.
Now hold on, what’s that look for? It was with her hand, using her bag. The goods of a Goddess, they’re super popular with a fixed class (*Member of said Fixed class).
“What I don’t get is what happened after. I might have answered with a more cold voice than usual, and yet Natsukawa started sulking in such a cute way. She tryna kill me or sumthin?”
“Sajocchi, you don’t need to speak like some unrefined shop boy who can’t hold back their desires.”
“Basically, if I’m gross enough for her to hit me, then getting that kind of reaction from me should be no big deal, right? Being treated harshly with no remorse makes me feel much more pure and clean as well.”
“………”
“Don’t you agree?” I asked Ashida.
However, she showed me a complicated expression, and started thinking again. Why while looking at my face? I want to know what Natsukawa is thinking, okay.
“So, why did you suddenly start calling her by her family name again?”
“Because other people would get the wrong idea, and she said that it’s annoying.”
“You’re not really approaching Aichi much at all as of late, right?”
“I got rejected for good after all.”
“That never stopped you before though?”
“I mean, going on forever with that is no option, right. I wouldn’t want to get rejected on and on like this, and constantly being surrounded by a guy she doesn’t even like must be nothing short of a bother for Natsukawa, don’t you agree?”
“…Makes sense.” Ashida listened to me, and showed an expression like she just bit on an insect.
What a livid range of expressions she has. Not to mention that this kind of face is super rare on someone as energetic as her. Makes me honestly worried. Is my face that repulsive? She turned her back towards me, pulled and twisted on her cheeks, and turned towards me again with her usual smile. You really don’t need to force yourself, okay?
“I do agree that Aichi’s attitude isn’t exactly right, but you’re not acting any better!”
“W-Why?”
“Because you were constantly around her, the other people at school held back, which is why she barely has anybody to talk to here! She only has you and me, so you can’t just suddenly free her up like that!”
“B-Because I was clingy…?”
Ashida’s words stabbed into my heart like a sharp blade. However, it made sense. I have full faith in the ability of Natsukawa to be an idol. However, what if you add me to the equation? If the other people see me be all passionate and fierce with my approach towards her, they would hold back. And even now, they might be acting reserved so that they don’t get pulled in…
Maybe even my Natsukawa-loving character already ruined it all…? From the viewpoint of a student who doesn’t want to stand out, you really want to avoid being dragged into that.
“…Wait a second?”
“Eh? Wait? For what?”
Now that our seats are further away, as long as I don’t approach her, the others won’t need to hold back, right? If I add Ashida into the mix, then it’ll create a comfortable atmosphere, right…I-I know…!
“Ashida.”
“W-What…”
“It’s time to start our great management operation…!”
“What’s up with that? Are you really sure about this?”
*
Now then, the reason Natsukawa showed that reaction, which honestly made me want to bully her some more, is definitely because her surroundings aren’t interacting with her as she’d wish, which was caused by me constantly clinging to her, thus limiting her with the amount of people she can actually talk to. Right? Right.
—That being said, that doesn’t necessarily guarantee a comfortable solution. Because they don’t want to be alone, because they don’t want other people pointing at them being alone, with these kinds of reasons, there are a lot of people who reluctantly choose any kind of place as long as they have somewhere to belong.
So, let’s think about it. There might be a chance that Natsukawa didn’t want to end up alone, that she could only talk to me, even if she didn’t even want to. Otherwise, I can’t see any other reason why she would do that.
“Just daydreaming is a waste of time.”
That being said, I still believe in Natsukawa’s idol capabilities. I proudly announced to become her manager, but I’m pretty sure that just by me being physically distanced from her likes this will make her automatically gather more people around her. Then, there’s only one thing to do. Stay in the shadows, and make the others realize that I’m not around Natsukawa anymore.
“—I see, so that’s what you’re thinking.”
……Huh?
I walked down the hallway near the shoe lockers at the entrance, and nobody should have been around. Yet, ahead of me, I could hear a dignified voice. For a second, I thought like I was dealing with a boy, but when I looked up, I immediately realized that this wasn’t the case. Hmm, black tights, nice.
“Is it you who went around scaring my junior here at around the same time yesterday?”
“Yes that was me I’m terribly sorry.”
Remembering something along those lines, I immediately apologized without hesitation. I haven’t even gotten a look at the person in front of me, and I don’t know what year they’re in, but they must be a senior of mine without a doubt.
‘Huuuh? —–Disgusting’ (Exaggerated)
Yesterday—ahh, that. Though, I feel like that girl yesterday was a bit more calm and collected than the person in front of me. This one here is more like a sadist…Hell yeah.
“I was joking—Why are you apologizing? That girl was dejected because she rejected your kind offer.”
“It’s my fault because I was trying to go out of my way. You’re only allowed to call out to a young and sweet girl in an isolated location if you’re a character from a shoujo manga. I should have guessed that I would scare her with that.”
“Young and sweet girl…You do know that she is your senior, right?”
“Ah, is that so.”
From the color of my necktie, she must have guessed that I was a first-year, and looked at me with a disappointed look on her face. Excuse me, but with your Takarazuka1-esque handsome looks, I really feel like I’m losing here.
…Normally, it should be fine even if this wasn’t a shoujo manga. Even if her personality wasn’t the most confident, helping her in that situation would have been totally normal, me being a handsome guy not necessary at all. I feel like I kept my own specs in mind, and acted accordingly, you know.
“Your actions back then were something worth praise. You definitely weren’t just needlessly meddling.”
“……Is that so.”
I mean, someone from the public morals committee must feel that way. These words came up my throat, but I decided to not argue any more than this. These black tights on her legs were approaching me. If I had kept my head down any more than this, I would have been regarded as a pervert, so I reluctantly raised my gaze. Seeing a person I had never talked to in front of me, I felt a mixture of happiness and disappointment inside of me.
Shinomiya Rin. She is the president of the public morals committee, and with her calm and collected attitude, together with a handsome face, she is popular with both the boys and girls. That’s probably why she could figure out what I was thinking.
“Then, if you would excuse me.”
“Now hold on.”
“…”
Um, I have yet to eat my lunch, you know? What was lasagna bread again? No idea, will probably never get to eat it. First time I bought it as well. I know that it had some cheese in it at least.
“‘Just daydreaming is a waste of time’, huh. The moment I heard those words from you, I knew that you didn’t call out to her with any ulterior motives. Otherwise, you wouldn’t mutter a realistic approach to life like that.”
“………”
It seems like Senpai thought that the person who talked to that girl was someone suspicious. So despite praising me for my humble action, you were still doubting me? So she was not believing disposition, but admiring what I did solely. Alright, this sure is reality.
“However, I can’t appreciate any kind of pessimism like that. The reason she acted like that is simply because she is bad at dealing with the male sex.”
“I appreciate your kind words, but I’m fairly certain that even if there had been any other girl present at that time during these circumstances in the same location, I would have most likely gotten the same reaction. That is how a chance meeting in a location with no other people around works. Excuse my rudeness, but do you often interact with male students?”
“Hmm…”
Committee President Shinomiya has paved her own ideal way, brushing away any approaching men that she encountered. Surely, she would not be able to sympathize with either me or that girl. If anything, these documents that girl carried probably wouldn’t even be that heavy for her. Well, I guess I’m overstepping my boundaries here.
“Then, if you would excuse me—”
“W-Wait a second!”
“No, um…”
The number one cool beauty-type girl of this girl suddenly grabbed my arm. This is quite possibly the moment of my greatest popularity in this pathetic life of mine. If another student saw us like this, they’d definitely get the wrong idea about this. Maybe I should just go with the flow and—Um, aren’t you using a bit too much strength, my lady?
“I-I need some advice.”
“Ehhhhh…”
Shouldn’t our positions be reversed, her being the public morals committee president and all? What kind of advice could some first-year brat like me give a great-great Senpai of mine? Don’t think I could be of any help with the noble problems of a person so talented as she is.
In the end, I had no choice but to give in, and was taken away from the bench I was aiming for, instead dragged to the student guidance counselling office near the staff room. Hey now…Couldn’t there have been a better location than here? Also, at least two or three people saw me getting dragged away. They probably are suspicious of us now.
“Have a seat. And eat some if you feel like it.”
“Alright, then don’t mind if I do.”
The student guidance counselling room was barely enough the size to fit a desk with four possible seats. To think I’d end up all alone here with that beauty of a committee president…I might actually enjoy this. But, with her being two straight years above me, it sort of feels like I’m dealing with a teacher rather than a fellow student. She’s a bit too admirable and attractive for me to treat her like a girl my age.
Having a taste of the pasta—macaroni…? together with some cheese, tomato sauce, the lasagna bread tasted about what I expected, as I listened to Senpai’s words.
“Well, you know. The girl you called out to—is called Inatomi Yuyu…”
“Oho?”
That name sounded familiar. I think she was another Senpai part of the public morals committee. Heard rumours about her being small and adorable. Guess that means she’s in direct contact with Shinomiya-senpai after all. Makes sense why she would pay extra attention to a delicate and lovable girl.
“She’s a real hard worker, see. Every task I give her, she sees it through until the very end, and she possesses the pride of being a public morals committee member. Of course, the same goes for the others.”
“Is that so.”
Marvelous, truly. With that appearance, she must have been praised extravagantly, and yet she didn’t let that get to her head, working hard at everything she attempted. These kinds of cute girls who are great at doing their work often resign from work because of marriage, huh…I think.
“However, at times, they talk about their lack of confidence in their work, and grow negative as a result. I try my best to encourage them when that happens. Some say they lose their confidence while looking at me.”
“I’ve seen Senpai act on stage before, and I can’t help but see you as admirable, and someone who truly wishes to protect the morals of the students. I can understand why other people would lose their confidence just by watching you.”
“W-Wait, don’t just praise me like that…So embarrassing…”
What’s that cute reaction for? Don’t just dare make my heart skip a beat. What is that gap about that you’re showing me right here, that’s not fair at all…Show me more, I want to see you more up close.
I covered my face with both my hands, and took in the scent of cheese coming out of my mouth, thus returning back to reality. Can’t get weak just because of Senpai’s gap moe. Come out, my sage self.
“…So, what advice did you need?”
“Ahh…that’s about me, actually.”
“About you? Not the other members of the public morals committee?”
“That’s right.”
I totally thought she’d ask me for ways on how to support them. Yet, it seems to be a problem related to herself. I really can’t see any kind of problem that I could actually help resolve…
“As the president of the public morals committee, I want to help my members. However, whenever I try to give them some advice, or cheer them up, I always get the same ‘You can do that because you’re the committee president’, see.”
“Ahh…I get it.”
I understand what she’s trying to say. When I argued that the same thing would have happened even if I called out to a different girl, she must have heard a nuance akin to what the public morals committee members are saying about her. No matter how much she tries to cheer up her team members, there’s no meaning to it because she’s at a level that can’t be compared to them.
“‘You can’t possibly understand what I feel’, is what Inatomi-senpai is saying, and you can’t deal with that, right?”
“Hmpf…That’s right. You sure are straightforward.”
“And now you ask a first-year for advice…?”
“I can’t consult them about this. And, just as you said, I barely talk to boys in my class, so I just happened to choose you instead…”
“………”
I’m pretty sure that Senpai’s thirst for knowledge is bigger than the average person’s. Not necessarily related to her studies, but rather everything related to the people and life around her. As the president of the public morals committee, she has the duty to understand the feelings of other people, reaching from the students in the center of class, and even those that don’t really fit into their surroundings.
“If I had to compare myself in this, I’d probably be in Inatomi-senpai’s position. Hence, I don’t think I could understand Senpai’s values in the detail I would need to, even if you explained it to me.”
“…I see.”
“However, I can tell what these girls might want you to do, Shinomiya-senpai.”
“! R-Really!?” Senpai pushed her face closer to mine.
This already is a narrow room, so if you go any more than that, you’ll awaken something inside of me. You’re so beautiful, can I kiss you? Also, doesn’t my breath reek of cheese?
…Anyway, just as I said, I can sort-of understand what Inatomi-senpai is feeling. That’s solely because of the specs that I have, and that I feel much closer towards the ‘Inatomi-senpai Side’ rather than the ‘Shinomiya-senpai Side’. Though I’m sure there’s enough differences between me and Inatomi-senpai.
This difference between the two sides is that big, it’s like we can refer to it as a culture gap. Even if you live in the same location, you don’t necessarily see the same things and acquire the same set of values.
“Put simply, I don’t expect you to cheer them up, and I’m sure that’s the same for them.”
“Wha…T-Then, what else am I supposed to do!”
“Just give them a short ‘Don’t worry about it’, and tap them on the shoulder, they’ll appreciate that much more.”
“Eh…”
Some nonchalant body touching, uehehehe. Ah, not good, I happened to prioritize my own desires. I’m supposed to be giving advice here.
“Just with your title as a Senpai, you’re basically their superior, so if you try to put yourself on their level, they won’t feel much sympathy from that. If anything, it’d probably be better for you to not give any comment and just forcefully tag them along.”
“T-That would make Yuyu and the others more confident…?”
“Come on, they’d get a tap on the shoulder with a ‘Don’t worry about it’ from the person they admire. That’s like you’d go up to heaven in pure bliss.”
“A-Am I some kind of god!?”
“For these girls, you might be someone even higher than a god, if I had to guess.”
Oh no, imagining the committee president with the smile of the holy mother, it makes me want to get doted on by her…I need to keep a serious face. Remember Natsukawa in this case, and—Huh? That had the opposite effect, huehue.
“So this is what everyone is expecting from me…huh. It’s quite embarrassing to be treated with this much respect, but now I’m starting to see what Yuyu and the others thought of me.”
“…Are you okay now?”
“Yeah…Though, I am a human myself, so I end up dejected at times. Who should I rely on at times like these?”
“Seeing that kind of side from a committee president is honestly more reassuring than anything to us. I’m sure that your members will come to support you. Though, their methods may be different than what you would attempt.”
“……”
There’s two years between Senpai and me, but we’re still students. Although there’s the giant premise of everyone being equal, reality speaks otherwise, showing superiority and inferiority, and despite that, here at school we only have a difference in student year as the great discrepancy of standing. That’s probably why Shinomiya-senpai had the optical illusion of her being on equal grounds with Inatomi-senpai and the other members.
That however is not the case. Difference in influence and title are born the second you move up to grade school. And, even grade school students realize that this cannot be put into words openly.
“…Why not get yourself a boyfriend and have him cheer you up instead?”
“Wha…I-I couldn’t do something so impure…”
“What type do you prefer the most, Senpai?”
“L-Listen to me!”
I don’t even feel the need to use the word gap here. I tried to line up pretty words to explain it to Senpai, but if I had chosen other words, she would have surely treated me differently. As someone who lives a tranquil life, I’d like to avoid that. With a sigh, I looked at the time.
“Lunch break…is going to be over soon.”
“Yeah, sorry for keeping you here so long.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
We both stood up from our seats, and stepped out of the student guidance counselling room. Since a lot of students and teachers were giving us a suspicious glance, I acted out something along the lines of ‘I got scolded, tehe~’, to which Shinomiya-senpai bumped her shoulder into me. Alright, one more body touch!
“Then, see you again.”
“Ah, wait a second. I forgot to ask for your name.”
“It’s Yamazaki.”
Motto No.1 of an ordinary person: People in important positions such as teachers or the public morals committee president are not allowed to remember your name. Hence, that fake name came out as natural as I was breathing. Oh right, I forgot to put my name plate in my breast pocket. And why Yamazaki’s name even?
Well, whatever, he’s in the basketball club, with a somewhat decent face, so he’d definitely feel happy with a beauty like Senpai looking for him.
“And also, I still don’t think that your virtuous decision to help was any needless meddling.”
“…Is that so.”
That just means that there won’t be any more compatibility between me and Senpai. It’s a clash of opinion. If I disagreed now, it’d birth another discussion, and we’d end up on equal grounds. However, I already reached my limit during our first encounter in the hallway. Senpai doesn’t understand just how normal of an existence her juniors in front of her are. At the same time, I don’t know if my train of thought is correct either.
Possessing things she can’t back down from, and determination to stand above others, Senpai really is strong. Since I’m only normal at best, I don’t possess the fangs necessary to face someone standing in my way.
*
After shopping for some food at the convenience store, the sun had started to set. The west sky was turning orange in color. That being said, the setting sun nowadays was quite far. Maybe it had filled your entire view in the past? If possible, I’d like to see this kind of scenery even in reality.
When I looked to the east, I could see darkness preparing to cover the sky. If I had to choose, rather than being attracted to the setting sun that only emphasized beauty, I found the east sky, splitting up light and darkness, much more appealing, and realistic.
“…Wataru?”
“!”
As I stood around in a daze, near my own home, a woman’s voice called out to me, using my name. For a second I thought that Natsukawa might have come visiting me again, but the voice sounded different to hers, and it’s a bit awkward between me and Natsukawa right now. Hence, there could only be one person this voice belonged to.
“Big Sis? What about your cram school?”
“Not feeling like it.”
Eh, and that’s enough of a reason? Well, if she doesn’t want to, then there’s no use forcing her. Depending on it, if you’re not even motivated to study, then forcefully studying won’t have much effect. Yet here I am, studying despite that for years now, hahaha.
Big Sis was munching on some steamed buns, and passed me by to enter the house. Shopping for stuff at the convenience store only to eat it right after sure makes us seem like siblings. The reason she just frowned is probably because she wanted to forget the fact of her being a university examinee at least for today. And here I was, careless.
Then again, treating her with great care so that her mood doesn’t get worse only for her mood to drop anyway is what my sister Kaede is all about. I immediately went after her, entering our home, and headed to the living room. On the way, I spotted the vinyl bag she was holding.
“Did you…buy the whole variety?”
“No, those guys just…”
“Those guys…?”
“…It’s nothing.”
Before asking if she’s going to eat all of that, I figured she’d gulp them up at high speed anyway. She’s taking a ridiculously small lunch box with her to school, but for the morning and evening, she’s eating like crazy. How can she even fit all of that.
Right as we were about to walk inside the living room, Big Sis suddenly stopped, and I could barely keep myself from bumping into her.
“Big Sis?”
“Say…did you talk with that girl after what happened?”
“……”
That girl—must refer to Natsukawa, after she came to visit a few days ago. That was the first time Big Sis actually met her. Since I was causing a ruckus about how I had a girl I liked before, she must have guessed that this was about Natsukawa.
For some reason, I found myself hesitating. There was something stopping me from telling Big Sis that Natsukawa and I were still talking as we had before. That’s why I happened to choose a more suggestive way of phrasing things.
“You heard us last time, right? That’s about it.”
“……”
I remembered the reactions of both Big Sis and Mom when Natsukawa ran out of the house. I still can’t forget the face she showed me when I argued that I wasn’t fit to stand next to her.
Normally, Big Sis would give me an insult or two, but she just stayed quiet, and walked on ahead.
1 Japanese all-female theater, where women play all the roles, even men