Volume 5 - CH 4

Once morning arrived, I realized that I got a new message from Haru and Hiro. Haru sent me a serious apology with ‘I’m really sorry for being so insensitive’ with not a single emoji added, and Hiro basically apologized in her stead as well. Now hold on, why am I getting some ‘Boyfriend apologizing to protect his girlfriend’ vibes from this? Imagining him with his clean shaven head and uniform, it felt a lot more sincere for some reason. It’s probably just another prejudice of mine, but people in the baseball club are either really good or bad folks. There’s no in-between there.

“—Ah! Morning, Sajocchi!”

“Sup, Ashida. Finished with morning practice? Must be rough.”

“Nah, it’s not that bad.”

In front of the shoe lockers, I ran into Ashida. I found myself a bit perplexed at getting this typical early ‘Ah, that was a good sweat!’ feeling from the volleyball club. Normally, I wouldn’t have such a feeling of guilt at feeling excited because of that. It’s like my entire daily rhythm is all over the place.

“You didn’t text me yesterday~ I was really lonely without any new messages after the club ended~!”

“Ahhh…I was busy. You know, Natsukawa’s the same, right?”

“Hmmm…? Ah, speak of the devil!”

“…!” I froze up completely because of Ashida’s voice.

This lively response…I don’t even need to check, she’s clearly talking about Natsukawa. Because we split up still in the middle of the conversation yesterday, I felt all the awkward tension coming back in its entirety. That being said, I didn’t want this to get worse right in front of Ashida, so I turned around as casually as I could.

“Morning, Aichi! Can I give you a big hug!?”

“Good morning, Kei. Please don’t, it’s hot.”

“Morning, Natsukawa.”

“Mor…Ah…”

I didn’t think that Natsukawa would feel awkward towards me. This is bad, she averted her face like that. She’s evidently still a bit hung up on yesterday. No, don’t panic, me…Don’t worry, didn’t you decide that you’d act the same way as always. It’s fine…As long as I don’t bother Natsukawa, nothing else matters.

“…? Did something happen, you two?”

“Eh? N-No, same as usual.”

With Ashida’s sharp remark, I found my calm facade cracking. How can she be this perceptive? Normally, you wouldn’t immediately throw in a remark like that. Ashida sure is amazing…She’s the type of person who can reach that conclusion simply because of her sharp senses. She’s like the archenemy of any detective, going by the name Dark Mocha Frappuccino.

“It’s hot, so let’s head to the classroom.” I said.

“I’m used to it by now~” Ashida commented.

“Pretty bad.”

“Not bad at all.”

“……”

I could feel an odd gaze in the corner of my view. Acting like I wasn’t catching on was quite hard to do. To think that Natsukawa was feeling much more awkward than me. The best choice is just to head over to the classroom. I can’t imagine that I would be able to distance myself from Natsukawa this late into the game.

“You’ve been jogging before as well, right, Sajocchi? The hot season is the perfect chance, so get used to it now, how about it?”

I sure as hell won’t. Also, back then, I was just training my body to raise the chances of Natsukawa liking me, which is why I did all sorts of stuff. It felt like the season of sweat was upon me, but not anymore.

“What perfect chance are you talking about? Also, I had a particular goal back then as to why I was jogging—Eh?” I argued while opening my shoe locker, when something fell down at my feet.

There shouldn’t be anything but my shoes in there, so of course I was a bit confused. When checking what this mysterious object was, I froze up.

“Waeh…? What’s that thing you dropped there, Sajocchi……Hmmm!?”

“…Eh…”

“……”

“……”

“……”

I could tell that something crazy just happened. Calm down, don’t jump to conclusions. Carefully observe the situation with an objective view. That’s right, stay objective about this. I opened up the shoe locker. Then something fell out. It’s some kind of letter. It had a pink, and adorable seal on it. With cute, and feminine handwriting, it said ‘To Sajou-kun’.

“A-A-A love letter!?”

“C-Calm down, Sajocchi! This must be some kind of trap! They probably plan to make fun of you for taking it seriously!”

“Why would you say that!?”

“Ah…!?”

Despite her denying the existence of a love letter head-first, my excitement still got the better of me. I feel like I ran into a rare mushroom while hunting for them in the mountains. Before Ashida could move, I immediately recovered the letter.

“—Now, let’s go.”

“Wah, are you serious!? Don’t just stuff it into your pocket, I’m super curious now!”

“I mean, this is addressed to me, right? I have received a confidential document, so I have to carefully look through it later.”

“You can’t even hide the fact that you’re happy! What’s it about! Tell me!”

“I won’t say it again. I’m not showing you, alright. As it’s addressed to me, I’m the only one who should see this. It’s something I should take with me to the grave, having it buried together with my bones.”

“Urk…!”

This is bad, I can’t stop myself from grinning. Ehehehe, is this really a love letter? That’s the first time I ever got one. This must mean that my popular period has arrived. It’s a bit of an old-fashioned method, but that only makes me happier. It really shows her personality. I bet she must be really cute.

“Sajocchiiii…”

“Stop that, alright. You won’t get anything from begging. Stop pulling on…my…sleeve…”

I dodged Ashida’s assault, only to find Natsukawa looking at me. Unlike her awkward gaze from before, she now stared at me like she was asking for something. Even as our eyes met, she didn’t avert hers…Gaaaaaaah! Natsukawa saw me! She saw meeee! Eh, what kind of shock is this? Unlike with Ashida, it feels like I’ve lost something very important…Almost like the person I like caught me flirting around with another girl right in front of her.

…Wait, isn’t that exactly the case? Oh yeah, it is. It’s pretty much the same. Why am I getting so excited about a love letter in front of the girl I love? Am I actually that insincere? The girl I confessed to is seeing me all excited about getting a love letter…Isn’t this the end of it all…?

No, think about it. This is the normal path. If I got over Natsukawa and my feelings for her, and focussed on a new love, would I really consider her feelings? No—If I were to move forward from the past, then I would need to cut off all my feelings for her. And, this love letter in my pocket might be the path to my new love. Don’t worry about it, me! In order to reach a bright future, you need to ignore Natsukawa’s very adorable gaze!

…This is tough.

*

In a way, I managed to avoid my dead end, reaching the classroom, and I finally thought I’d be able to calm down, but Ashida was still as noisy behind me. Her constant indirect asking of ‘Did you read it? Did you read it?’ was starting to get on my nerves. She’d whisper into my ears, throw a paper plane at me, kick the back of my chair…why is she so interested in this? Is it just because girls like her are interested in this kind of love talk? Why does she even think I’d tell her? It’s because of you that I was seen by Natsukawa!

“………”

I felt a sharp gaze coming from Ichinose-san, sitting next to me. She probably can’t give me the same bothered gaze as before our summer break, but she tried to convey a clear ‘Could you maybe keep it down a bit…?’ gaze still. I’m really sorry, it’s all because of this woman. Alright, guess it’s time for me to shut her up.

“Okay, it’s time to change seats.”

“Eh!?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Wohooo!”

Right as I made up my mind, our beloved homeroom teacher gave us a divine intervention. Great job, Ootsuki-chan. You’re a skilled teacher after all, understanding the feelings of a student. I’m counting on you for the next exams, so lower the average a bit.

“Ehh? Change seats?” Ashida muttered.

“You don’t like that? Normally you’re always excited.” I commented.

“But…But…”

“What’s going on…are you that curious about the love letter?”

“That as well, but~”

“…Huh?”

Ashida seemed unsatisfied by something. I thought it was because she lost her chance to check what the love letter said, but it seems like that wasn’t entirely it.

“But what?”

“Nothing at all, you dummy~”

“Wha…Ouch!”

This time, Ashida slapped her hand on my shoulder. Oddly enough, I couldn’t feel any anger towards her.

*

‘Template’. Whatever the true meaning behind that may be, as a high school student who likes manga and games, it’s basically the ‘natural turn of events’. Most of the time, the media uses a similar development, but that’s one part of the appeal. If you bring this into the real world, it’s basically something like destiny. The person who brings up rock paper scissors is the one to lose, the person who lets down their guard before a fight will lose, and so on.

There’s no guarantee that the things you need in life will always be with you, and the things you’d desperately wanted before would only fall in your hands once you don’t need them anymore. That’s especially the case with gacha. And just like that, there’s the template development of you running into someone you really would rather not be seeing right now…

“Eh!? Natsukawa-san is sitting right behind Sajou-kun? Good for you!”

“I was sure that he gave up, but his tenacity is no joke after all~”

Hey now, aren’t you making up nonsense? The hell are you two saying, Aibe, Matsuda. That being said, I know it can’t be helped. There’s no way that outsiders would be aware of my current relationship, and all they know about is me constantly chasing Natsukawa. At this point in time, all I’m getting are warm and supportive gazes that won’t be stopped no matter what.

“…Well, let’s get along.”

“Y-Yeah…”

At the end of the seat lottery, I ended up in the middle row at the window seat, second from the back. Feeling victorious over Ashida, who ended up in the center of the classroom, I realized that Natsukawa sat right behind me, looking at me with her diamond eyes, standing out from all the cobblestone people around us.

Because of this sudden development, the people around us got excited again. Those words I should have been happy to say not too long ago now sounded like vague words to summon some kind of black magic. Reaching this seat, I once again confirmed my surroundings. Ashida seemed reluctant at first, but now she was having an enjoyable talk with the people around her. I’m honestly jealous of her. If I tried hard, I might be able to do something like her, but I’m not that close with people. Well, that’s normal.

Besides Ashida, I spotted Ichinose-san, who sat in the second row next to the hallway. That seat is pretty great as well, huh. Since she reads books, that seat is perfect for her. But, because someone else spoke to her, she started panicking. Well, it’s her fault for opening up. It’s also her fault for being cute.

“—H-Hey…”

“! W-What…?”

As I was taking in all these fresh feelings from my new seat, somebody called out to me from behind my seat. I could feel my ears twitching. No matter how quiet her voice may be, I would always be able to filter out Natsukawa’s.

“Did you…already read it?”

“…No, not yet. Ashida was getting on my nerves after all.”

“…Seemed like it.”

Apparently she saw everything between me and Ashida right now. Whether that was because she was curious, or simply because we got on her nerves, I don’t know. Either way, this is way too much of a surprise attack. Just the fact that she saw us was more than enough to bring me out of concept…Ahh, I like her.

“Well…W-Why not read it?”

“…You’re not gonna look?”

“I-I won’t…I won’t look…”

“…Alright.”

Unlike Ashida, Natsukawa sounded much more honest, so I believed in her. I wouldn’t expect her to do some peeking either way. That’s how different she is from Ashida. Why don’t you learn from Natsukawa, huh? Well, she’s the girl I love, so I’m clearly playing favorites.

“Then…”

“Let’s get along, Sajou-kun!”

“Guha!?”

“Eh, Gura?”

Right as I was about to take out the letter from my pocket, Okamocchan suddenly turned around towards me. She probably was busy greeting the other people around her until now. As a result of that, I screamed in shock and slammed my hand on the desk.

“Ahh, well, nothing. Likewise.”

“Yup yup. Ah, it’s Natsukawa-san! Aren’t you glad to be close with her, Sajou-kun.”

“Urk…Yeah…”

Ahh, I knew this would be bad. The fact that I like Natsukawa is known by everybody, they can openly support me like they’re greeting me. Not to mention in front of the girl in question. In front of that very Natsukawa. I definitely can’t turn around right now, I’d probably die because things are so awkward.

“I really wanted to be close to Mina-chan, you know. But, Nonoka-chan stole her from me.”

It took me a second to realize that she was talking about Shira-san. Because Ichinose-san cut her bangs, she turned into somewhat of a trend, or a mascot even.

“…But, Shira-san isn’t that close to Ichinose-san either, right? At least not at an adjacent seat.”

Right now, that very Shira-san was talking with people sitting around her. It felt like she read the mood, and kept to a normal conversation.

“The closest one is the winner, you know?”

“Is there really a competition here?”

“More like how we always are?”

Are they? I’m not too sure about that. Rather than going crazy like this, the impression of them being relaxed and chill fit them much better. I wanna join them in their studies before an exam, I feel like I could get even better grades.

“You have it easy, Sajou-kun. Ichinose-san seems really clingy when it comes to you.”

“Ahh, well…Good, right?”

“Ahh, what’s up with that~”

Can’t really explain that she was my junior at my part-time job right in front of Natsukawa. Well, she can probably guess as much since Ichinose-san and I never talked during the first term, but that would basically be the same as me admitting she got her older brother stolen from her…

“—Mn! Mmmn!”

“Hm…?”

Wait, that just now…That was somebody awkwardly coughing. When I turned around, Natsukawa was frozen stiff, looking at me. It sounded quite alluring, but I can’t get excited about something like this. She is a Goddess, I can’t see her that way…!

Leaving aside the jokes, she is probably pressuring me into reading the love letter. I don’t plan on telling her, but now that she learned of its existence, she probably can’t not care. I’m the same. If Natsukawa got a love letter, I’d probably hire a private detective.

“Well…”

“Ah, Natsukawa-san, it’s not like he’s actually troubling you, right.”

“Eh?”

“Hold on, Okamocchan, what’s that supposed to mean.”

You’re making it sound like I would always trouble her……Well, considering how I acted until recently, it’s not that far off. But, does everybody just think of me as a troublemaker? Didn’t I show off that I could be pretty docile? We even had summer break in between there.

“I…see…”

That’s right. It seems like Natsukawa still saw me as a bother, huh. To think she’d be this doubtful of me…Okamocchan checked out our reactions, and then giggled to herself. Kinda cute. Not like this is the time to say that. Okamocchan definitely has the wrong idea about things.

“Ehehe, getting to see Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san up close like this sure is fun~”

“……”

“……”

…Ehhh…What am I supposed to say here? She’s making things only more awkward. Should I do my usual performance of approaching Natsukawa? Like hell I would. Natsukawa constantly told me that I’m a chore to deal with. Even if I did that now, she’d only hate me more. The way Natsukawa and I act around each other is closely arranged. We read the mood, don’t create any weird circumstances, so that nothing will break apart.

That’s the best we can do right now. When spring ended, I told Natsukawa my intention back when she visited me. Yesterday, I made that position even more clear. Natsukawa should understand what direction I’m trying to take this situation. That’s why—

“We might not be able to respond to your expectations. Right, Natsukawa?”

“—Ah…Yeah…”

Here, Natsukawa doesn’t need to hold back. She doesn’t need to feel awkward. Since we’re already over and done with this, Okamocchan won’t get her hopes up. We’re friends, where we hopefully one day can say ‘Oh yeah, that happened right’. I can just shove my feelings aside. Then, I’ll surely be able to forget about them one day.

“Eh…Huh? That reminds me, the way you’re calling her…Ah.”

Rumours live for 75 days. Just as the seasons change, there are things you forget with time passing by. The same goes for everybody poking fun at my, albeit unreachable, ambitions.

“I-I see…”

“Yeah, sorry, okay?”

Okamocchan showed a somewhat dejected smile, and turned away from them.