Volume 5 - CH 6

“……”

During September, the cicadas were still chirping. Since Aika lived in full focus of her younger sister, she put on the A/C early. As this was to protect her small life, it acted as a double-edged sword, making Aika herself weaker against the mid-summer heat. As her head grew hotter, painful memories came back gushing inside her head. The more she thought about them, the stronger they got. This was the vexing feeling that had gotten stronger towards the boy, Sajou Wataru, that filled her head.

Once she started unravelling this vexing and irritating emotion, she found displeasure, awkwardness, even apologetic feelings. The displeasure originated from the doubts she had towards the boy. There were many things she couldn’t always throw at people, as that would destroy their relationship, including her friendship with Ashida Kei. She had already swallowed that down. However, the things that she didn’t understand and that weren’t there before now built up towards this displeasure.

How did he come to know that Shinomiya Rin?

Why does he act so friendly and close with her?

Why was he working part-time?

What was the reason he suddenly started to get along with their classmate Ichinose Mina to such an extent?

Why was she so clingy towards him?

Did he meet that mature middle school girl ever since the day of the school visit?

How close is he with his older sister?

Would you really call an old friend from middle school with their given name?

Doesn’t he have one too many girls around him?

In fact, who is he the closest with—

H-Hold on a second…

Way too many questions filled her head, making her panic, almost frantic. When she looked through all of them, she realized that he actually knew a lot of girls. She understood why she couldn’t just simply ask that, and felt embarrassed that she was so concerned about that. Without the previous incident, if she had stayed unaware, she may have been able to. Even though they’d meet each other soon enough at school, despite an entire night having passed, she felt the awkward tension rise up inside of her.

“—Ah, speak of the devil!”

“?”

Hearing a familiar voice, Aika raised her head. Looking ahead, her good friend was waving at her right at the front entrance. She probably just finished her morning club practice, as she was still brimming with energy, speaking loudly.

“Morning, Aichi! Can I give you a big hug!?”

“Good morning, Kei. Please don’t, it’s hot.”

Her best friend jumped up and down, seeming ready to leap at Aika at any given moment. Although Aika was somewhat used to this kind of attitude thanks to her younger sister, when it came to someone actually taller than her, she generally put a stop to it. Since it was still warm outside, she really didn’t want to have another person glued to her. Seeing her friend pout in disappointment, Aika flashed a wry smile.

“Morning, Natsukawa.”

“Mor…Ah…”

It was a casual greeting as always, something you’d do every morning. Out of reflex, Aika spoke up, only to see the person standing next to her good friend, freezing up.

…Wataru.

Just like Aika herself, he flashed a bitter smile. Was he only showing such a troubled expression because of her best friend’s attitude? Of course not, there’s no way he could have just forgotten about the incident the day prior. This wasn’t his true expression. He acted out the same morning as he always would—

Ah…

It’s just about raising a hand, saying a simple ‘Morning’. As classmates, it’s something perfectly normal. And yet, Aika couldn’t even do that, as the boy looked at her. Instead, she could merely show a slight bow. Not good, that felt far too unnatural.

“…? Did something happen, you two?”

“…!”

“Eh? N-No, same as usual.”

The pouting best friend must have felt something, as she looked at both their faces. When Aika involuntarily stayed silent, the boy took over and responded. It wasn’t exactly natural, but much better than Aika’s silence.

“It’s hot, so let’s head to the classroom.”

“I’m used to it by now~”

“Pretty bad.”

“Not bad at all.”

“……”

It was your usual, nonchalant conversation. Or rather, that’s what it must have seemed like to Kei. Aika herself was unable to fully accept all of these words at face value. She understood the boy’s ulterior motive. Did he always do things this way? When she had invited him over, when it was just the two of them in the courtyard, and yesterday when they went home together…

Did I ever even…hear his honest feelings?

“You’ve been jogging before as well, right, Sajocchi? The hot season is the perfect chance, so get used to it now, how about it?”

“What perfect chance are you talking about? Also, I had a particular goal back then as to why I was jogging—Eh?”

“Waeh…? What’s that thing you dropped there, Sajocchi……Hmmm!?”

“…Eh…”

Lost in thought, right as she was changing shoes, something dropped down in the corner of her view. Once she got a better look at this object, she froze up. Since the boy picked it up immediately, she could merely take a glance for a second. However, that alone allowed her to read what it said.

—’To Sajou-kun’.

It was written with a feminine handwriting, equipped with a red ribbon, so the person who sent it must hold strong feelings for the boy.

Wataru…got a love letter…? Wataru got a…

She was close to remembering the nightmare she had.

*

Morning homeroom arrived. The homeroom teacher was apparently busy with something, so the classmates’ voices filled the classroom. Normally, Aika would be part of that group. However, she couldn’t bring herself to join them. Subconsciously, her fingertips tapped on her desk instead. Normally, the boy is just joking around, seen as a grade school student by the other girls. That’s why Aika never would have expected someone to hold such special feelings for him. As a result of that, this shock was even bigger than she initially assumed.

Past her gaze, at the hallway row in the very front, he and her best friend were making noise like never before. The sound at her hands grew even louder. She felt different from the moment she woke up this morning, and another emotion filled her. The inside of her chest was a mushed up mess.

Kei…!

He had kept the letter in his chest pocket. In the end, Aika didn’t know if that really was a love letter or not. Even so, both him and her best friend showed great interest. After all, it was addressed to none other than him. Not to anybody, but only him…

Ahhhh…Geez!

No, this isn’t the time for this. In the corner of her view, she still saw the two basically glued to each other. She could imagine why. Her best friend Kei was probably trying to steal the letter from his pocket. She was clinging to his back from behind the desk. She apparently was so engrossed in the letter that she didn’t realize how close she was. It wasn’t just that, because she leaned on him, her skirt was lifted up to reach dangerous levels. The boy sitting behind them was already leaning forward a bit. Aika felt angry and irritated at the two, being defenseless in the middle of a class.

They seemed to have had their fun, because her best friend grinned to herself, and the boy showed a bitter smile, as they both fixed their disarranged clothes. Seeing them separate, Aika sighed in relief. But that vanished soon enough, as a feeling of alienation filled her chest instead.

……How nice.

They looked like they were having fun. She wanted to join in. Those were her faint but honest feelings. If she were to say that out loud, her best friend would probably push her down on the spot. But, that wasn’t the problem. What she wished for inside her gloomy heart wasn’t consideration or facade, but rather the kind of noisy chaos that would blow all her worries away.

*

At the end of the seat lottery, Aika ended up in a seat that felt a lot more lonely than before. She sat at the courtyard side, the furthest back, which was regarded as the most comfortable place for a lot of people. However, since Aika always paid attention in class, this point was meaningless. As she was feeling a bit dejected about having ended up there, the person who’d be sitting in front of her arrived with a desk in his hands.

Eh……

“…Ah…”

Their eyes met, and they froze up. He was the first to break eye contact, clearly feeling awkward, and put the desk next to the wall.

“Eh!? Natsukawa-san is sitting right behind Sajou-kun? Good for you!”

“I was sure that he gave up, but his tenacity is no joke.”

Two people Aika never really talked with gave the boy words of their blessings. Naturally, that wasn’t the first time she heard these words up close. Not too long ago, she heard this on a daily basis, and didn’t think much about it. However, this time around, she felt an odd feeling bottling up inside of her.

W-What are they talking about…

It felt like she stood on a tightrope, and they were shaking it just for fun. Even if their surroundings had accepted her relationship with him as a fact, these words weren’t something you would say in front of the person in question. Not sure how to respond, Aika simply stayed quiet, looking at her side.

Finally, she mustered up the courage to gaze at the boy in front of her. Or rather, she had no other choice but to do that. As their gazes met, he showed a tense smile.

“…Well, let’s get along.”

“Y-Yeah…”

She tried to figure out his true feelings. No doubt, he was feeling awkward with her around. Soon enough, he turned his back towards her, and sat down. Even though she had seen his back countless times before, it felt somewhat fresh to her, as she stared at it.

…Mm…

She still felt a bit awkward despite everything. However, a small flame, like a torchlight, burned up inside her chest. It was still a warm season at this point in time, but…this warmth from the torchlight felt quite comfortable. Aika remembered the exchange he had with her best friend. It’s not as if she felt like doing the exact same thing, but after having learned of this comfortable sensation, she wanted to gain more of such warmth. She made up her mind to look at the boy, and then observed her surroundings. Right now would be good timing. Just like her best friend did, she tried to piece together a conversation.

“—H-Hey…”

“! W-What…?”

Before Aika even realized it, she had already called out to the boy. He seemed shocked about this, as he gave a stuttering response. After waiting for him to calm down, she mustered up her courage to approach him.

“Did you…already read it?”

“…No, not yet. Ashida was getting on my nerves after all.”

“…Seemed like it.”

She had seen every second of that exchange. They didn’t even bother with the fact that they were boy and girl, and just wrestled around. It was still burned on the back of Aika’s retinas. As a result, she subconsciously continued with a somewhat agitated voice.

“Well…W-Why not read it?”

However, she also was curious about the contents of the letter, so she wasn’t one to talk. Or rather, she didn’t care much for what it said, and simply needed to know if it was a love letter or not. She couldn’t stand the fact that her best friend was allowed to invade his privacy to such an extent, while she had to hold back.

“…You’re not gonna look?”

“I-I won’t…I won’t look…” She answered, slightly annoyed.

She knew that, even if this was a love letter, she didn’t have any right of peeking inside his love life, or anybody else’s for that matter. Even so, she was curious, and that wouldn’t change. She knew that if she didn’t find out today, she would be in for another sleepless night. That is something she wanted to avoid.

“…Alright.”

She had no intention of peeking at the contents of the letter. However, simply having him read it in front of her gave her some type of relief. Normally, that would have been unthinkable. Her best friend most likely lowered the hurdle by already talking to him about it, so Aika felt thankful this once.

The boy took a deep breath, as his right hand moved towards his chest pocket. So he was finally going to read it. No, because of the window at their left, she could see the inside of his hands. Maybe she could even read the contents of the letter without intentionally doing so…? No, this simply couldn’t be helped, she happened to see it by mere coincidence, that’s right. But, was that really okay—

“Then…”

“Let’s get along, Sajou-kun!”

“Guha!?”

As Aika was filled with inner conflict, a female student turned towards the boy on the seat ahead of him. He must have been about to take out the letter, as he let out a weird shriek.

Ahhh, geez!

It’s not a question of who was wrong, this just was horrible timing. That being said, Aika still found herself thinking how regrettable it was that he didn’t open up the letter right now, cursing inside her mind.

“Ahh, well, nothing. Likewise.”

“Yup yup. Ah, it’s Natsukawa-san! Aren’t you glad to be close with her, Sajou-kun.”

“Urk…Yeah…”

He grit his teeth, feeling awkward. They were the same words as before, but there was no teasing tone to be found inside of them. She thought only a small number of people knew about this, but a lot more people apparently were aware of his feelings and tendencies, which made Aika feel embarrassed. If you were to point fingers, it was clearly his fault. Thinking about it, he never cared if there were people around them. Basically, everybody knew of his feelings, and Aika’s feelings. That fact alone made her face burn up.

But, right now…

They did not have the same relationship as before. In terms of him passionately chasing after Aika, he had changed a long time ago, even before yesterday. The reason nobody knew of this was because he managed to smoothly play it off. They weren’t too close, but also not too far away either.

The reason he kept his distance, it finally made sense to Aika. However, that wasn’t the case back then. She simply felt him walk away from her. That fact made her chest tighten up, and leave her confused. Why he, who should have been nothing but a bother, held such a great presence inside Aika, she still didn’t know.

“…But, Shirai-san isn’t that close to Ichinose-san either, right? At least not at an adjacent seat.”

……!

Hearing these words, Aika was pulled back to reality. That’s right, that’s not all she didn’t know. Another thought popped up inside her head when she heard the name ‘Ichinose-san’. Ichinose Mina-san. Before the past summer break, she didn’t stand out much, hiding her eyes behind her long bangs. She never held much of a presence, which is why the two never talked.

After the second term rolled around, she had cut her bangs, and her impression changed. Her large, almond eyes were brimming with a lack of confidence, which awakened Aika’s protective instinct that she had with Airi.

“You have it easy, Sajou-kun. Ichinose-san seems really clingy when it comes to you.”

That’s it. That’s the point. She was far too close to the boy. Because she was shy around strangers, she would usually hide behind his back ever since the second term started. Surprisingly enough, she did it like Aika’s best friend did minutes ago. Why was it him? If there was a slight chance, she might be the ‘female classmate’ he had mentioned during summer break when they talked about his part-time job.

“Ahh, well…Good, right?”

Not good at all.

She subconsciously threw in a retort. During summer break, she didn’t have much time to interact with not only him, but also her best friend, and now she felt like she was right back to that. Even though she barely got any chances to see him, he went and got all friendly with another female classmate. Naturally, that wasn’t bad at all, but that didn’t mean Aika could simply accept that.

“—Mn! Mmmn!”

Ah…

Aika felt a bit embarrassed at the forced voice she let out. She was in shock that she wanted this conversation about Ichinose-san to end so desperately. The two turned towards her, making her curl up like a scared cat.

“Well…”

“Ah, Natsukawa-san, it’s not like he’s actually troubling you, right.”

“Eh?”

“Hold on, Okamocchan, what’s that supposed to mean.”

Eh, he was calling Okamoto-san like that? Aika almost voiced her disbelief out loud. It appeared as if things revolved around the boy, words shot out faster out of her mouth than her mind could react. It must be related to yesterday’s incident. Many more things she couldn’t simply accept filled her mind.

“I…see…”

It was just her being unreasonable. Once she calmed down, now she was curious about Okamoto-san’s words. It almost sounded like Aika was thinking of Sajou Wataru as a troublemaker. It’s true that there was a time when he was way too clingy. Surely, Okamoto-san’s impression of him hasn’t changed at all compared to back then.

“Ehehe, getting to see Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san up close like this sure is fun~”

……!

It felt like time had come to a halt. All sound vanished from her ears, and her hand wandered to her chest. She couldn’t tell if it hurt, or didn’t. ‘Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san’, she must be referring back to when he was constantly around Aika, only annoying her. Right now, the two of them were nowhere near that. She knew that Okamoto-san didn’t have any bad intentions with her statement, but it was still cruel despite that.

An eerie premonition assaulted her chest. How would he react after hearing that? Does he even still have these kinds of feelings towards her? Maybe he was just forcing himself to stay close to her? She grew worried, and looked at his face.

“We might not be able to respond to your expectations. Right, Natsukawa?”

“—Ah…Yeah…”

He spoke with a casual tone. Whether he was serious or not, Aika couldn’t read what he truly felt. He chose kind words to convey everything. He conveyed that there wouldn’t be any ‘Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san’ anymore, and told her to drop the topic. And yet…Why. What was this feeling?

…Is that really something you can say so lightly…?

Even if he meant these words from the bottom of his heart…Was the time back then really something he could get over this easily? Once again, there was something she couldn’t accept. What that was she didn’t know, but it made her drop her head.

“Eh…Huh? That reminds me, the way you’re calling her…Ah.”

Aika raised her head, seeing how Okamoto-san’s gaze moved towards him at that exact moment.

Did she…see that just now?

It may have just been Aika’s misunderstanding. Even so, Okamoto-san’s voice made it seem like she had figured something out. Many things were left unclear, and uncertain. Maybe he was as desperate to understand Aika’s heart as she was with his. If they got only a step closer, she may be able to understand more. About Ichinose-san, about what happened the day prior, about the letter, about everyone’s impression, and of course…

“I-I see…”

“Yeah, sorry, okay?”

About Wataru’s heart.