Chapter 8：Emotion: Jealousy (Part 1)

In the evening, I saw Jack standing in near the entrance of the train watching the sky outside. I wanted to asked him why he was crying, but wasn't able to speak a single word.

He saw me, smiled and said "Have you ever feel jealous?"

I replied "No! But why?"

He said "No, nothing serious but I had felt this emotion of jealousy."

I desperately asked "When and why?"

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After our first kiss, I was feeling shy, actually very very shy. When I woke up in the morning I prepared myself how to say words to Salang. I thought we were not be able to talk again like we used to do. (I don't know what'inside me, what I feel, I'm feeling shy, sad, fear at the same time I'm also very happy. I am confused which emotion I should reflect back!!!)

When the bell rang, all the students went to their own classes. I was sitting on my seat and Salang enter to the class. All the emotion went back to the original part of the brain and they doesn't react like I thought about. The only emotion in my body, mind and soul was love, suddenly a smile of her strike on my lower face and I don't why I automatically smile back. Her smile is the reason why my body sometimes lack oxygen coz I freeze and couldn't breathe and her smile is also only the reason why I want to live long, live more!!

(I could feel my heartbeat beating very fast and loud, never felt before. Are you in my destiny? Please let me know. Please let me know if you really the one for me. If this is true I won't let you go.)

I thought she was breaking our friendship, but no she came near me and greet me good morning. I was very happy to see that she wasn't feeling uncomfortable.

I asked "Are you fine?"

She said "Yes, I'm. But why?"

"Yesterday...." UncomfortabIy I was about to explain but she interrupt and said "See, I don't mind that, so please don't feel uncomfortable. I just want you to forget that and continue our friendship like we have."

I nodded and follow her orders.

At end of the session 2015-2016, I was a totally a different person, before I hated nature, rain, kisses, hugs, smiling, giving things to others, loving, caring etc etc. There is a huge list of these kind of things. But now I love them, I love doing this (but only with Salang). I compared myself before joining to this school and at the end of this school. I was completely changed person. I still remember that once I said "I won't love anyone, I hate being love and especially to give love!" Now, when this line come to mind I always laugh at myself. (Seriously!!)

I told Salang that in my previous school, my classmates used to tell me about their crushes.

She smiled. I was surprised and asked her "Why are you smiling?"

She doesn't say a word but her her smile frightened me.

(What's the reason behind this smile, do you have crush? or you are the crush of someone special?? A huge set of questions was on my mind. If there is someone you like....)

She interrupt my thoughts and said "Telling you this is right or wrong, but I want to tell you about something.."

She said "Jack, I have a crush!" (Have??????? or Had????? She said Have. It means present. My heart broke into billions of small small pieces. God I had prayed to you right! but you didn't grant me my wish. Why are you so heartless?? Why???)

I was crying inside but I smiled and asked "Have? or Had? "

She replied "I don't know may be have or may not be!" (What???????? My head is going to blast! Stay away!!!)

I jumped and intended her to speak out loud "Please tell, tell, speak up!" (What the.. What I supposed to do and what I'm doing right now? Shame on you!!!)

I asked "Please tell no!" (Please God this time please had, had, had, had!!!)

She said "I had a crush when I was 12" (Phewwww!!! I was about to die but a single word 'had' brought my life back. Thank you God. Really very very thankful to you. But who was he I repeat it who was he?????)

I asked politely but opposite inside "Who was he?" (Yes, tell me who was that boy.)

She ran away from me and I ran behind her. We bot landed on the cafeteria and I continuously asked her to tell me his name.

She said "What you'll do if I tell his name?"

I replied with a big smile "Nothing, I can't do anything!" (I'll kill him, right now!!!)

She wrote something on a paper, handed me ran away again to the classroom.

With my heart broken, I slowly slowly read single letter. It reads "D-U-R-E-K T-A-R-H-S."

I ran back to the classroom "Who is he??" I shouted and I saw teacher teaching in my class. I shut my mouth.

Teacher said angrily "Where were you?"

I replied "Sir, I went to the bathroom."

Teacher asked "Oh yeah bathroom, For 40 mins, great reason. If you have loose motion then please go to the medical room."

I replied "No, sir. I went to dorm and then went to bathroom."

Teacher said "Whatever, get back to your seat. Class there's only 3 mins left for recess. Do you want me to teach next lesson?"

All the class member shouted "Noooooo!!!"

Teacher smile said "I'll see you in the exam time, Bye." and he left.

I went near to Salang and asked her "Is he your crush? Durek Tarhs?? What a funny name, may be funny in looks too!" I began to say make fun of him.

She stood up and said "No, he is very cute."

I said "Chill dude, chill." (Why Salang why?? Do you still have crush on him, you look very angry when I make fun of him. Do you still have crush on him? I'm crying. Please hold me.

I asked "How you both meet and how you....??"

She interrupt and said "I request you please don't say a word about him. I don't want to talk. l shall leave."

She went back to the dorm making my small pieces of heart cry. I was so sad. I couldn't feel anything I thought it's my last few second of life. (Jealousy)