85. Disgraced

"You're sure this is enough m'lady?" lieutenant Desmond asked again. "You don't need anything else?"

I nodded, "This is fine Desmond, thank you. We'll be fine. We'll be on our way in the morning before dawn."

We were all standing in the room which used to be captain Eamon's private chambers, and was most recently occupied by Keenan. It was the largest and most nicely decorated room in the castle. But this was a military outpost, it wasn't intended to house nobility, so the furnishings weren't all that lavish or special.

Not that we were going to complain. The bed was big enough for the three of us, and that's all we really needed.

Keenan would actually be occupying the room for one more night as well, but as our prisoner rather than the person running the place. We'd had some extra blankets brought in, and along with the thick rugs on the floor I figured that would be comfortable enough for him. Either way it would just be for one night.

It was early evening now, and I'd spent most of the afternoon dealing with the soldiers. First I had to knock them all out with sleep spells, then I went through them one by one and dispelled Keenan's control magic. And finally, starting with the officers, I had to wake them all up again, and go through some very lengthy explanations and conversations.

When it was all over and done with, castle Griofa was once again loyal to my mother and our clann. The castle was shorthanded though, and there was still the weakness in the south-east corner where I'd damaged the structure. They needed reinforcements and help with the repairs, but I'd pass that on to Maeve when we returned home in the morning.

After all that was sorted out we had something to eat, and now we were ready to turn in for the night. Desmond bowed once more before he finally left us alone. Keira made sure the door was closed and barred after he'd left so nobody else would disturb us.

Our prisoner was standing to the side looking awkward and uncomfortable. The only clothes in the castle that were even close to the right size belonged to a stable-boy. They were still too big, but for now Keenan was dressed in black britches and a pale beige shirt. We couldn't find any suitable footwear so he was barefoot.

I still hadn't found out yet what Keira did to him, what spell she used. She was reluctant to talk about it, at least for the moment. I suspected she was worried about upsetting me. Or maybe she just didn't want me to look down at her.

Whatever she did I knew it was something dark, and the effect it had on her granddad was significant. Keenan was acting very quiet and compliant, like he was eager to not get in anyone's way and to avoid getting anyone upset with him.

After sealing the door Keira moved back to me and Kelly. She glanced at her granddad and said "You can set your blankets up there." She gestured to a spot against the wall near the fireplace, that would probably be fairly warm and comfortable. She added, "Then get some sleep."

Keenan nodded and quietly started laying out the blankets. As soon as the makeshift bed was ready, he lay down and got comfortable.

Kelly looked between me and her sister then asked softly, "Are we going straight back to castle Brádaigh in the morning? Or will we take grandfather to Earth first, to meet with mom?"

Keira shrugged and looked at me.

"Keenan can wait," I replied. "I'll ask Maeve to set him up in a room in the tower, like Liam was. He'll be kept safe and comfortable, but he won't be going anywhere. We need to finish our business in Otherworld before we head back to Earth."

The twins both accepted that, and the three of us finally undressed and got into bed together.

As we got settled in, I asked softly "Keira? Will you tell me what you did to Keenan?"

She sighed. "If you really want to know... I'm afraid you'll hate me though."

"I won't hate you," I promised. "I might be disappointed, but after what happened to Amy, and what he was going to do to Kelly, I understand."

Keira sighed again, then whispered "It's a spell I know she's used on other people. It lets you make changes to someone's personality. I knew you were uneasy about the dysphoria stuff, so I made her a girl. And I made her want to be a good girl. I made her want to stay out of trouble. And I made her want to do whatever the three of us tell her."

I sighed as that all sank in. Of course I wasn't happy about it, and I definitely wasn't comfortable with it. After a couple minutes I came up with some questions. I could think of a lot of ways to interpret what she said, and I wanted to understand exactly what she'd done.

"Ok," I said softly, "I don't hate you Keira. I'm not happy you did it though. It'll probably take me a while longer to process the rest of my feelings on this. In the meantime, I have some questions. I need you to elaborate more on exactly what you did, because what you just described sounds pretty vague."

Keira continued to whisper as she replied, "The first thing was the most direct and straightforward. Like I said, I knew you didn't want to condemn her to a life of dysphoria so I changed her gender identity to match her new body."

She added "I didn't force her to like her new body or make her like what had happened to her or anything like that. She still has to come to terms with that in her own time, in her own way. It just means she's a girl, she prefers she/her pronouns, and she might even decide to change her name."

I sighed again, but otherwise stayed quiet for now as I listened to Keira. Kelly was cuddled behind me, I knew she was listening too.

"The other three things are all a lot more vague, like you said." Keira confirmed quietly. "None of them are compulsions or like, unbreakable commands or whatever? None of them are 'she has to', just that 'she wants to'. She's not a robot or a slave or anything like that, she still has her free will."

"Which is more than we can say for most of her victims," Kelly added softly.

Keira nodded and continued, "So she 'wants to be a good girl'... That's going to influence her based on her own idea of what a good girl is. And I know right now granddad's a misogynistic creep. So that's going to shape how she thinks she should act. That'll change over time though, like as she grows and matures? She'll hopefully lose that misogynistic mindset and her idea of being a good girl will change, and that'll change how it influences her behaviour and stuff."

Kelly added, "Eventually, if she becomes mature enough, she might realize that the concept is meaningless patriarchal bullshit, then it'll have no hold on her at all. We can all choose for ourselves if we want to be a 'good girl' and what that means to us. If she reaches that level of maturity and self-awareness, she'll be completely free of that influence."

Keira sighed then moved on to the next one. "Her wanting to stay out of trouble is also based on how her mind interprets that. Like, she might decide the best way to avoid trouble is to avoid breaking rules or laws. It doesn't mean she'll be unable to, like it doesn't mean she'll never drive above the speed limit? Like I said these aren't unbreakable commands... And same as the 'good girl' thing, her interpretation or understanding of it will probably change over time."

"Right now she probably has some pretty black-and-white ideas on the subject," Kelly suggested. "Like, based on the past few centuries of her life, staying out of trouble to her might mean for now she'll want to obey authority figures, and want to avoid breaking laws or rules."

She added, "Combined with the 'good girl' one, I have a feeling how it affects her will fade over time, if she grows and matures as a person. Like, most responsible functioning adults in human society want to be seen as good, contributing members of that society. If she becomes a responsible functioning human adult, this'll probably become meaningless."

Keira stayed quiet as she thought that over for a few minutes.

"And the last thing?" I asked softly. "Doing what we say?"

Keira whispered, "So once again it's not that she's compelled or forced to obey us. She's not a slave. She's not being forced to do whatever we say no matter what. It does mean she's probably not going to fight or argue with us about inconsequential stuff just for the sake of being contrary."

Once again Kelly chimed in with her own take on it. "Combine all three of those things and it means right now, she wants to be a 'good girl' according to her misogynistic ideals, she wants to 'stay out of trouble' based on how she interprets that, and she wants to do what we say. So at the moment she's very quiet, she'll probably do what we ask without argument, and she's not going to try and fight back or escape or do anything else to disrupt our plans."

"But," she continued, "Keenan isn't a slave, she has free will. She won't just blindly obey us. And she has the opportunity to grow, mature, and learn. As she learns that women aren't inferior and aren't just objects? And as she starts to participate more in human society? Things will improve for her, these things Keira did to her will become less influential, and she'll gradually be free of them."

After a moment she added, "It's not a guarantee that she'll someday become a normal happy functioning woman. But I think it gives her the opportunity. And in the meantime, it definitely gives her a taste of the sort of stuff she's been doing to other people."

I stayed quiet for another minute or two, as I looked back and forth between the two of them. Finally I turned to face Kelly and asked, "How much of this did you two discuss in advance? You said she told you up front what she wanted to do, and it sounds like you've both thought this out pretty thoroughly."

Kelly shook her head, "We've been talking nonstop since she did it, babe. Like we've been discussing it all afternoon, so I've had several hours to figure out what's likely to happen. All I knew before-hand was Keira wanted some personal revenge for what Keenan did to Amy. And I told her I wasn't comfortable with it, but I wouldn't stop her."

After a moment she sighed "Tegan I'm sorry. I know it was wrong and I know it upset you. I shouldn't have interfered when you wanted to stop Keira. But after what grandfather said she was going to do to me..."

I leaned forward and kissed her, "I know Kelly." I hadn't forgotten what Keenan told her, what he was planning to do to her, and how utterly evil and terrifying it was.

"I'm sorry too, Tegan." Keira whispered. "I know it probably feels like I used you. I'm the one who suggested what to do with her, then I jumped in and added my own revenge ontop of that..."

I turned and kissed her too. "I know how much it hurt Keira, what she did to Amy. I'm not happy with what you did, but like I said, I understand why you did it."

We all wound up just laying quietly together for a while longer, until something else occurred to me.

I sighed, "You know, it's extremely messed up that when we get back to Earth I'm going to do almost exactly the same thing to my own dad? I mean, without the mind-magic of course. And for dad, it'll be the greatest gift ever. But for Keenan, it's a fate worse than death."

"That's because Keenan's a misogynist," Keira stated. "And she's speciesist. She thinks women are inferior, same with humans. That's why it's punishment for her."

Kelly nodded, "Neither you or your dad see women as inferior. And you're both trans. That's why it's a gift."

We were all quiet again for a while longer, till I came up with the next question. "Keira, does Keenan know what you did? I mean, all the stuff you just told us?"

"No," she replied softly. "She'll probably figure some of it out sooner or later. She might have already figured out the obvious ones, about her gender and doing what we tell her."

I had one last question for them, "So when we get back to Earth, do you both still want to turn her over to Kelsey? If we're hoping Keenan's going to be reformed after all this, I'm not sure Kelsey's the best choice for her."

Kelly sighed, "Yes. We need to confront our mom regardless, but I think in the long run me and Keira would be happier if Keenan was with family, rather than on her own or with strangers. Even if it means we have to do something similar to encourage mom to change her ways too."

"If you don't want to be a part of that Tegan," Keira whispered, "I'm pretty sure Kelly and I could handle it ourselves."

I sighed again, "No, I'll be there when you confront Kelsey. We can discuss the details another time though. For now let's just get some sleep."

They both nodded, and the three of us cuddled together before finally drifting to sleep.

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