86. Diminished

I don't think any of us slept well that night. We were all carrying too much stress and guilt from the day's events. In the morning we all woke up at least an hour too early, and wound up just quietly talking.

"There's something I need to tell you both," I whispered. "At the time I wasn't even thinking about it, I just acted because I knew Kelly was in trouble. But now, I realize it was probably a huge violation."

They were both curled up on either side of me as usual. Kelly asked softly "What is it babe? What did you do?"

I explained quietly, "When me and Keira retreated to the waypoint but you didn't make it, then Keira said Keenan had you? I tapped into your connection. For a few seconds I was in your head with you, Kelly. I heard what your grandfather said, what she was going to do to you. And I shared the terror you felt, and the helplessness, the desperation."

Both of them were quiet for a few moments, till Keira commented "I think I saw that. You reached out and grabbed it, right? As if it was a solid thing?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "I took hold of it and suddenly I was connected. I'm not even sure how I did it to be honest. It just happened, like instinct or intuition?"

Kelly was quiet for another minute or so, then finally said "That's how you pulled off that impossible teleport. Even though you jumped in from two leagues away, it was like pinpoint accuracy. That's how you appeared in between me and grandfather."

I nodded "Right. I sort of rode the connection straight back to you."

She and Keira were quiet again for a little while longer. I figured they were probably both talking again through their link, but I didn't bother looking at their auras. I just stayed quiet as I rested in between them.

"Ok babe," Kelly finally whispered. "I'm glad you did it, and I'm grateful you did it. But please don't ever do it again. At least not unless we both invite you in."

"I won't. I promise."

Both of them leaned in and kissed me on my cheeks at the same time, so I figured I was forgiven.

After a few moments Keira asked, "So you were there with Kelly, you felt her fear, you heard what granddad was going to do, but you still don't think what I did was justified?"

I sighed and took a moment to think about my answer before I replied.

"After yesterday," I whispered, "I think all three of us have a few more stains on our souls. It's cliché but I don't believe two wrongs make a right. Everything Keenan's done has been wrong, and perhaps her fate is just, and maybe she deserved it? That still doesn't make anything we did yesterday right or good. And I don't think we had any kind of moral authority to do it, apart from the right to fight for our own survival. Keenan was a threat, to us and our loved ones."

I sighed again, "There was no good solution to this. Whatever we did to Keenan, kill her or transform her, I knew it would suck. I guess at the end of the day all we can do is decide whether or not we can live with how much it sucked."

They both seemed to think that over. Finally Keira said quietly, "I can live with it. I'll take the hit on a stained soul, for the satisfaction of knowing I got some revenge for what she did to Amy. And it might not mean much to anyone else, but I feel like I let granddad off easy."

Even though she spoke quietly, I could hear the conviction in her voice.

"I can live with it too," Kelly whispered, "But it'll take me a while to get over the guilt. I agree with you Tegan, whether or not grandfather deserved it, it was still wrong."

After a moment she added, "When did you get all spiritual about this stuff, babe? Where'd this talk about souls and stains and all that come from?"

I shrugged slightly, "I guess I've been thinking about it ever since I met Taralynn and Aisling. They talked about us having to earn our souls. I don't know... When we decided to go after Keenan, I knew I'd have to break my own rules again. Either about killing, or about using magic to do unpleasant things."

Kelly seemed to think that over, then finally suggested "Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe you'll disagree with me. But I sort of wonder if we actually do have the moral authority in this case. Taralynn gave you her gift because she knew you'd use it right. Neither Keira or me would have been able to help yesterday if you hadn't shared that gift with us on Samhain. And ultimately Keenan needed to be stopped. Someone had to do it. The only one who was able to stop Keenan and was in a position to do so, was you. And that's only because of Taralynn and her gift."

She quickly added "I'm not saying it was right or good, and I'm still going to feel guilty about it. All I'm saying is maybe these things happened for a reason, maybe all three of us wound up in this position for a reason."

That left me thinking again, but I didn't have anything else to say.

The three of us cuddled together a while longer, before we all finally decided it was time to get ready. We got up and dressed, and Keira woke up their granddad and got her up as well. Then the four of us went down to the main hall, to let the soldiers know we were heading out.

Lieutenant Desmond was up already and waiting to see us off. I realized he probably planned to escort us out to the waypoint or something, but I just thanked him and explained it wouldn't be necessary.

The three of us bid Desmond farewell, and I confirmed I'd speak with Maeve about getting him reinforcements and help with the repairs. Then Kelly and Keira both teleported themselves directly to the grove of trees. I sent Keenan after them, and finally teleported there myself.

Keenan was quiet and looked a bit sullen as I moved around to find the point where the veil was weakest. As the sun started to crest the horizon I could feel the veil growing even weaker. The four of us held hands and I pulled us all through.

We wound up back in the forest south of castle Brádaigh, next to the garrison. As usual Gaelen was there with a group of archers, though they were getting less jumpy about me and the twins dropping in so frequently.

Horses were provided of course, for the short journey back to the castle.

Keenan knew how to ride but she was no longer able to get herself up into the saddle. She'd gone from at least six feet tall to something like four-foot-ten. Rather than giving her a boost one of the soldiers just picked her up and sat her down in the saddle.

I still needed a boost, but I was used to it. Someday I'd learn how to get myself up into the saddle unassisted, despite my small size.

With everyone ready we set out. Keenan's horse was being led by one of the soldiers. She wasn't in any restraints but she was still technically a prisoner so that's how they treated her.

Another soldier held our pennant aloft, and soon enough our group was welcomed into the castle courtyard by Maeve and Siobhan and the usual assembly of soldiers and servants.

We all dismounted, except our prisoner who needed help getting down again. Siobhan took care of that. Much the same way Keenan was placed on the horse, Siobhan just picked the girl up out of the saddle then set her down on the ground.

As she did so the tall captain asked "I take it this is our prisoner?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I'd appreciate if she were placed in a room in a tower, rather than the dungeon. I'd like her to be looked after as an 'untrusted guest', and not mistreated."

Keira added, "She'll need some suitable clothes too, if that's not too much trouble."

Maeve gave Siobhan a nodd, "Take care of that please captain. Then come and join us in the study."

Keenan was blushing brightly from all the attention and stares, and she kept her eyes down to avoid having to meet anyone's gaze.

Siobhan bowed slightly, "Yes m'lady." She looked to Keenan and stated, "Come along. I don't imagine I'll have too much trouble with you."

Keenan kept her eyes down as she shook her head. She remained quiet as she followed the captain out of the courtyard, accompanied by two more guards.

Maeve led me and the twins to the study for a debriefing and breakfast, in what was starting to become a fairly routine practice for us every time we returned to the castle.

Ten or fifteen minutes later the four of us were seated around a table, just starting to eat when Siobhan joined us. Maeve once again invited the captain to sit and eat with us, then we began the debriefing over our meal.

"The good news is, castle Griofa is once again in friendly hands." I announced. "We left lieutenant Desmond in charge. Keenan had them all under control spells but I've dispelled the magic, they're all loyal to you and the clann once again."

Maeve smiled, "That is good news indeed, but is there also bad news?"

I nodded, "The castle is short-handed. They're down to only thirty-one men and three officers. They'll need reinforcements, and help with repairs."

"Very well," Maeve nodded. "I'll make arrangements."

After eating a bit more, she asked the three of us "I take it things went well? The three of you appear unharmed, and you've brought back your prisoner as planned."

The twins and I exchanged a glance. I replied with a sigh, "We had a very close call, we nearly lost Kelly."

I felt a little nauseous just saying it, and I felt worse as I added, "It was my fault. My inexperience... Keenan was prepared for us and I didn't see it coming. We wound up scrambling, and it was just luck and brute strength that let me save her."

Kelly put her hand on mine, I knew she didn't blame me, she wasn't upset with me. I still blamed myself though. The worst part of it was I knew I'd keep making those sorts of mistakes until I was more experienced.

My fae-mom just nodded quietly, "I'm glad the three of you are all right. That's the most important thing, Tegan. The experience will come, but there's no shortcuts there. You have to go out and earn it the hard way."

I just nodded quietly. She was right of course, that was one thing I couldn't bypass or cheat with my gift.

After another little pause in the conversation Keira asked, "Any news here while we were away?"

We'd only been gone a day really, from one sunrise to the next, but it was always possible something had turned up.

"Not yet," Maeve shook her head. "No news yet from the king, sir Colm has not yet returned nor has any courier come from the royal court. No news from the Ceallaigh family either, no response yet to the letter I sent Oisín."

I nodded, "I still want to go and get Connor. I'll do that spell again this morning to check on him, make sure he's still ok and everything. I think I need a couple days to recover though, after dealing with Keenan."

"Speaking of whom," Kelly said, looking at Maeve and Siobhan. "I hope we'll be allowed to visit her without having to bother captain Siobhan or yourself? She's quite harmless now."

Maeve thought it over for a few moments, then nodded "Very well. She's your er, grandfather. I won't try and keep you separated from family."

Siobhan asked, "She's still a prisoner though, correct?"

"Yes," I replied. "But like Kelly said, she's harmless. We want her to stay put, but we don't want her mistreated."

My fae-mom nodded again, "Siobhan, make sure the guards know that Tegan, Kelly, and Keira are permitted to visit the prisoner without escort."

The captain bowed her head, "Yes m'lady."

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