Chapter LVII: The Finality (4)

Previously

“Yes,” Ivanka said. “I went over your theory in my head. It’s at least worth a try. If, however, it fails. . ”

“If it fails?”

She just gave me a look. I nodded. “I understand. I’ll do what must be done by then. But that will never happen since it will work. I just know it.”

“Fine,” Ivanka said. “But if we’re going to test this out, we’ll do it tomorrow. It’s getting late. Get your rest for now. You look like you need it.”

My eyebags sighed in relief from her words. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I slumped onto my bed like a fish flopping into the sea. “Night.” Then, I was out like a light, just barely catching the proud-looking smile on Ivanka’s face as her legs left the room.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

This was it. This was the moment of truth. I was sweating like a bucket, sweating far more than I did back when I took the senior finals exam half-drunk from the afterparty my dad threw for my eighteenth birthday. Only, if I fucked up in here, things would go very, very wrong. Out of the many things I had told Ivanka, I had carefully hid one tiny little fact from her during my explanation. And that was the simple fact that if I wasn’t masterful enough in my chi manipulation and ushering and my Anger awoke, that would be the last that I live as Anger would take over my body and consciousness, permanently. 

“No pressure,” I whispered. I looked around the training grounds and everything looked normal and was functioning as it should since the last time I trashed the place. Relics and artifacts were pretty nifty the higher their rank you climbed. 

Ivanka stood behind me, ready to help with anything but by the way her arms were to the sides, I knew she was more prepared to go into combat than she was to help if this all went sideways. I picked up enough of her habits to at least know her this much. Also, something tells me Ivanka’s a little despiteful towards Anger but always seemed stress-free after a battle with a fellow god.Good for her. 

“Are you ready?” Ivanka asked. 

I nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Then, I closed my eyes and focused. I felt Ivanka’s energy pour into me and with her help, I immediately transcended the first veil and immediately went into the second veil, witnessing again the beauty of the myriad energy waves. I’d come to call them energy auroras for ease of memory. In this veil and realm of energy, everything stood at a still and the entire realm would have been so quiet if not for the individualistic singing of each energy aurora. 

Since I had done this one too many times, it wasn’t that hard to filter out the rest and spot the aurora of chi anymore, especially since it was the biggest in volume, and quantity. There was a reason it was called life-force after all. 

Then, I prepared a mental pathway, a bridge for them to walk on and into me, distinguishing them from the rest of the adorable energy auroras. They seemed hesitant to walk on since they knew what I wanted to do but I assured them, with the calm energy of my constitution, that everything would be alright and asked them to trust me since I had a plan this time. And so they did, walking through my bridge and as the first tips of the chi wave entered me, I let out a gasp of pleasure and opened my inner gates but unlike last time, I kept it small, just so that only a few chi could enter. 

The chi auroras seemed confused, wondering why I didn’t want all of them but I only gave them a gentle smile, telling them that this was my plan. I did warn them to not awaken the sleeping beast inside me and to tread carefully as I depended on them. They would have nodded adorably if they had heads but instead in their energy form, all I could feel was something that felt like a yes from them. 

When the chi entered me in low dosage, it felt like I was slowly dipping my feet into a hot spring instead of cannon-balling into it, which felt pleasurable in it’s own right but as a human being, my own life-force demanded more and I would have succumbed if not for the mental hellish training I did under Ivanka.

Ivanka seemed to have sensed that I had started the progress, as she directed her divine energy around the chi, creating a veil around them for added concealment as I mentally told the chi to not be startled and continue on their path. 

When they finally made their way into my stomach, the dantian and the origin of a mortal’s lifeforce, the field of elixir and the sea of natural energy that every human possessed, I zoned in completely on the chi’s progress since we were in hellish difficulty now. Over the past few weeks, the one thing I did manage to find out about my Anger was that it’s specific location, which was in my stomach, right on top of my dantian, it’s ashy-gray shadowy form usually sleeping, locked inside a cage like a sleeping dragon.

It always woke up whenever I cultivated chi,  as it sensed the immense lifeforce pouring into me and as per the natural law, devoured them all from within it’s cage, providing them with a crucial torment akin to the nine circles of Hell before it throws their purified form outside to the world and forever away from my dantian, like souls forgotten and bemoaned. 

Taking a smooth, relaxed breath in, I maximized my control over the chi, urging them to be as orderly as possible and to follow the path I had created for them straight into my dantian which was as big as a lake but as dry as the desert after many of the times my Anger snatched my chi away. If the next couple steps worked well, I would never have to worry about that again.

“Stay calm,” Ivanka must have sensed how fast my heart was beating at the moment. “You told me it can work. Show me it will work.” That was all the motivation I needed.

With laser-sharp focus, I let my mind be still like water, firm like the earth yet prepared to roar like fire. For too long this world has fucked me over. For too many times this world had punched me in the gut and pissed on my plans. 

I will make this work, if it’s the last thing I do.

The chi, after being urged, were standing on their toes before my empty dantian and I could feel the beckoning my dantian gave to them, calling them to take the dive into purity. Before the first of the chi could dive in, my Anger moved and nobody moved for the second as I panicked and knew that I must have gotten too excited and so I quickly regained control of my emotions again as the caged beast stilled silently. 

I mentally sighed a breath of relief and wiped the imaginary sweat on my brows. 

“Willow!” Ivanka hissed behind me. I mentally apologized and got back to work, this time without the hippy excitement waking Anger up. Then, it happened. 

The first of the auroras of chi dived in. A new world of sensations exploded into my being as I could feel my senses elevating. I could sense the world’s happiness at gaining a new child, Ivanka’s surprise at my success as she sent a chi-induced ‘Welcome’ to the new world I had stepped foot in. So many things rushed into me as if I had achieved enlightenment but the first thing I noticed was how unlike my calculations, I couldn’t hold back the gates to my dantian as the number of chi I was holding back suddenly rushed in, also wanting to be purified through me now that they knew it was going to be painless.

Instant panic grasped my heart. My Anger was going to awake! I turned to Ivanka for help but she only stood there with a stoic smile—how was that possible–on her face despite the amount of panic I was under. I quickly dived into my inner consciousness and saw that something very different to my expectations but also something very good for me, happened.

From the beginning, I knew that the whole process of sneaking in only a few chi at a time would work and I’d be able to wield martial arts but then a problem would arise. Simply put, I wouldn’t be able to advance to the later stages anymore, techniques that demanded a large amount of chi instead of the miniscule amount of chi I pumped at a time. 

But now, it looks like I wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. After all, something beautiful happened. 

The first thing I saw was the beautiful and satisfying sight of my dantian lake quickly being refilled to it’s capacity, the more it was being refilled, the more I could feel everything under nature’s eyes. Also, the malevolent energy inside Ivanka’s curse should be something no martial arts user should ever see. But focusing on the matter at hand, the reason why I wouldn’t have to worry about the input of my chi was that, instead of the large amounts of chi waking up Anger and causing it to berserk, instead a give-and-take relationship seemed to have formed between them.

For every hundred chi that entered my body, around 10% of it went to my Anger and in exchange, it was to be kept complacent and merciful so that the chi that it ate, was devoured without pain. It still hurt me to feel some of my chi being devoured but at least the process was painless compared to the grima screeches the chi mentally echoed into me, like having two cats scratch their nails against the chalkboard into my ears.

With the naked mental eye, you could see an invisible tether latching onto the cage, bypassing a tiny area of the cage and connected directly with the shapeless mist that was my Anger, feeding the lazy, lounging cat with it’s milk. 

I can’t believe it. It actually worked. As proof that it worked, I was sent a mental message by Ivanka. I didn’t understand exactly how she did it but I could feel the mental tether connecting both of our chi together. 

‘Come out. I’m sure you’ll want to see this for yourself.’ 

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