Chapter LVIII: The Finality (5)

Previously

For every hundred chi that entered my body, around 10% of it went to my Anger and in exchange, it was to be kept complacent and merciful so that the chi that it ate, was devoured without pain. It still hurt me to feel some of my chi being devoured but at least the process was painless compared to the grima screeches the chi mentally echoed into me, like having two cats scratch their nails against the chalkboard into my ears.

With the naked mental eye, you could see an invisible tether latching onto the cage, bypassing a tiny area of the cage and connected directly with the shapeless mist that was my Anger, feeding the lazy, lounging cat with it’s milk. 

I can’t believe it. It actually worked. As proof that it worked, I was sent a mental message by Ivanka. I didn’t understand exactly how she did it but I could feel the mental tether connecting both of our chi together. 

‘Come out. I’m sure you’ll want to see this for yourself.’ 

I bid the beautiful, mystical view of my inner world goodbye and slowly disconnected myself from my meditative state as I felt my soul, my being elevating outside, swimming up to get fresh air and when the first rays of light hit me, I felt myself come back to reality, this time without feeling like someone had forced my head down a toilet. 

And yet, I felt somewhat warm and giddy in my fingertips, like little bolts of static were arching from tip to tip.

“You called?” I said. Ivanka nodded her head towards my hands. So, I looked down and saw why my hands felt anxiously excited. 

“No way. . .”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. If this didn’t tell me my plan worked, nothing would. Looking at the aura of white that enveloped both of my hands, an unknown feeling welled up inside me. It was like I was actually living, like I had left my–not Willow–my mark in this world. 

Then, it happened.

Everything suddenly felt real to me as I witnessed with my own two eyes how the plot of the game could be changed. I couldn’t solely rely on the game’s knowledge to plan and prepare anymore now that I’ve seen how the game’s fate could easily be changed on a whim. 

The feeling of warmth and happiness left my being. I suddenly felt like puking. The death of that old man town guard, the maiming and mutilation of my townspeople and kids I grew up with and more importantly, how weak I truly was in this grand world, all came up to me as my emotions started to go haywire like I was having a panic attack. 

Dear God. I just watched real people being killed, raped and torn limb to limb by the demons. None of this was a game. Oh no, oh no, oh no. As if called out by my sudden switch in emotions, Anger started to respond as it thrashed wildly around it’s cage, begging to be let out.

Did I actually think of this entire world and its people as a game? Just pawns to move around and if they died, I would have just discarded them, thinking they would simply revive again like NPCs from a game? 

I was trash. I felt like trash. The previously happy life-force around me suddenly started to mutate, morphing into the negative, changing from tunes of joy to whispers and curses, calling me everything I deserved to be called. 

A hand slapped itself on my forehead. “Calm yourself.” 

An aura of tranquility washed over me like a cool mint or a quick breeze under a hot, summer sun. The more I breathed in the aura, the more I could feel my erratic mind slowly and synonymously calming down with the beating of my heart, and along with it, the force of nature returning back to joy and serenity. Everything returned to normal.

I took a deep breath in. Then, a deep breath out. “Thanks for the help.” Ivanka had been the one to cast that aura of tranquility and with it, helped bring me out of the panic attack I was in. 

Her hand peeled away from my forehead. “Maybe we’ll have to focus more on the training of the mind, rather than the body.”

“I didn’t know you could joke,” I replied.

“That wasn’t a jest,” Ivanka said, rather sternly. “I’ve never seen someone lose control of their chi so violently right after awakening like you did just now. You even managed to make the life-force around us angry and ugly.” Her eyes glowed, scanning over me. “Whatever it was, I don’t see traces of it in your body anymore. . .It must have been something your mind conjured up.”

“What happened?”

I didn’t know how to answer her question. Half because I didn’t want anyone in this world to know about how they were a game in my world. Half because, for some reason, I didn’t want Ivanka to look at me with disgust if she learned about what I thought of the denizens of this world. But then, I can’t exactly lie completely through my teeth because she’d know with her truth-seeking skill.

So, I decided to give out a half-truth, half-lie. “I didn’t know what came over me. One moment, I was fine and the next, it was like everything wrong in the world attacked me.”

She stared at me for quite a while but I could tell she was using her truth-detector skill. I was somewhat nervous but since I was a martial art user now, it was pretty easy to calm my rapidly beating heart down. “I see. It must have been a Catastrophic Awakening.”

“Which is?”

“Everytime a martial artist is born, he or she may be subjected to hearing the voices of the dark side of life rather than the good and pure,” She explained. “The chances are exceedingly low but it’s not impossible. You’re quite unlucky to have contracted such an unlikely off-chance. It was my mistake. I should have been more vigilant. I apologize.”

“Well, we all make mistakes. So, what do I do now?” I quickly changed the subject. I was starting to feel like a douche for making her apologize when she didn’t have to. I felt even douchier when I realized apologies from Ivanka were a rare thing since she treasured them so much more. 

“The portal outside opens in a month,” Ivanka said. “For the time being, you should master the basics of martial arts and learn the steps and power realms to achieving absolute mastery. It shouldn’t be that difficult for you.”

“And why is that?” 

Her body suddenly blazed, enveloped with a fiery aura of silver, the color of her chi before limiting it to her hands. She turned to me and waited. I realized she wanted me to do the same so I did, calling out my chi to envelop both of my hands. 

“There are three major realms before achieving absolute mastery. The first is called ‘Understanding The One’. In this stage, one learns how to use chi on themselves, be it to fortify one’s defenses or enhance one’s attacks,” She explained. 

“Usually, most people have difficulty entering it even after awakening but,” Ivanka gestured towards the pure, white chi smoking around my hands. “It looks like you’re a special case.”

“Really?” I looked at the very happy-feeling force of chi around my hands. They were singing songs and praises about me—more specifically, the body of Willow—when I figured out why chi and Willow were so compatible. One was the greatest and purest healer of all time whereas the other was the purest energy of all. A match made in heaven. 

I wanted to test the power of chi. “You said I could fortify defenses or enhance attacks?” The chi in dantian started to rev up as the aura around my hands started to grow denser, more concentrated. 

Ivanka sighed. “So impatient.” Then, she teleported away. I only took a deep breath in and asked the training grounds to summon them again. 

With hands glaring a bright white aura and eyes of determination, I stared down the familiar pair of shadow knights and supports. “We meet again.” Then, with a battle cry of excitement and joy, I leapt into battle. 

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