Book 1: Chapter 1: Imprisonment

As I was reincarnated, I collapsed by a river bed, and ended up lying on my face. I don't know why I fell down, and now my nose hurt.

Sand stuck to me as I got up. I brushed most of it off with my fingers. As I recovered, I remembered the promise that god made. At that time, I saw my face reflected in the flowing water.

"Ehhh..."

I was rather ugly.

"Wow, this guy is really ugly."

I had the face of an especially unfashionable middle-aged man.

(Getting a girlfriend will be almost impossible. This is going to be a "hard mode" life.)

I wondered what my status was like.

name: Tanaka

gender: male

race: human

level: 1

job: nothing in particular

ＨＰ：９/９

ＭＰ：８７５０００００/８７５０００００

ＳＴＲ：３

ＶＩＴ：２

ＤＥＸ：６

ＡＧＩ：１

ＩＮＴ：５４０２０００

ＬＵＣ：１

My MP was high. I wondered if that was related to my recovery magic.

"What are my skills like?"

passive:

magic recovery: Lv.Max

magic efficiency: Lv.Max

active:

recovery magic: Lv.Max

Exactly as I had requested. If only I had a better face I'd have no complaints.

"Hoooooo..."

I sighed at the river's surface. After sighing a bit, I started walking.

I was in some woods. But where? I tried following the river, and found something road-like. It was actually 10 meter wide gravel road, with forest on both sides. I'd only ever seen asphalt roads, so a gravel road seemed like a fantasy setting to me.

"Ah, it's a carriage, a carriage is coming."

There was a Middle Ages fantasy style carriage, pulled by 2 horses. A 2-hp carriage.

"Hey, hey!"

I tried waving at it. It went past, ignoring me.

"..."

It slowly receded while making a satisfying "clunk, clunk" noise. I stood there for a while. It didn't seem like it was going to stop.

Indeed, it slowly got smaller as it continued on.

Hitch-hike: failure.

"...I guess I'll go, then?"

I walked after the carriage. The few "other carriages" that I had hoped for passed me quickly.

◇◆◇

After walking for about an hour, I found a town.

It was fairly large, and was surrounded by walls. It really had the feel of a fantasy fortress city. At least from this distance, it seemed larger than Disneyland.

I stopped at a checkpoint at the entrance with some soldier-looking people.

"Show your pass."

"I don't have one."

"Then it's 10 copper coins for 10 days. Or 1 silver coin for 100 days. Choose."

"........"

Apparently an entrance fee was necessary, and I didn't have any money.

"What is it?"

"Kind of a lot of things, actually..."

(What do I do here?)

"A lot of things? Huh?"

"Sorry, nevermind."

"...eh?"

I made a U-turn.

A U-turn.

At that point, a soldier went after me.

"Hey, wait there! Wait, you suspicious guy!"

"Gaah!"

Shit. He was going to catch me. I ran furiously, but he was catching up. The soldier who was weighed down by clattering armor was catching this Japanese guy wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"Haa...haaa..."

And I was caught.

"Got you!"

"Ugh...I feel sick..."

And then I threw up.

The soldier dragged me back towards the checkpoint anyway. I was wrapped with a hemp rope, I was led around, and then I was in jail.

And so, I entered the town in a way I hadn't hoped for.

◇◆◇

3 days passed while I was stuck in the jail. They gave me food and water, so at least I wouldn't starve to death.

There was also a latrine. Water periodically flowed through a small basin in a corner. On the floor, there was a bed of straw. It wasn't too bad for being straw.

"...I'm bored."

There was just nothing to do. Free time was the only thing I had, and I had lots of it.

"You think so too, right?"

I had tried saying something many times, but hadn't gotten a response yet.

This jail cell had 2 people, including me. The other person looked like they were around 17. They had white skin, a face with deep features, blonde hair to their hips, and blue eyes. A western beauty.

And she had big boobs, too. "Glamorous" was an appropriate word to describe her. With her just wearing a thin blouse, it was too sexy. I wanted her to have my kids.

"Um, could you at least give me an answer?"

"You're annoying. Shut up."

"I see..."

I got mad.

We'd been here in the same jail cell, but she was so distant. She was actually up against the wall, as far away as she could be.

"Do you need to use the toilet? It's better not to hold it in, you know."

"Of...of course not! Stop harassing me, you criminal!"

"You're in a jail too, you know."

"Don't put me in the same category as you!"

...

She was still beautiful when pooping.

I don't know what the guards were thinking, putting a man and a woman together in the same cell. I was happy, but seeing her and not being able to do anything about it was painful. I was getting blue balls from being in the same room with her for so long.

"Can't we at least have a normal conversation?"

"You're the only one who wants to talk, so you can talk to yourself."

"Conversation might make being in jail a bit more bearable, you know."

"Shut up. And stop glancing at me, it's gross."

(She's looking at me like I'm definitely a dangerous criminal.)

Thinking about it, there was no way she would treat someone who looked like me that she met in a jail cell normally. If I was a woman in her situation I probably would have reacted the same way. I felt bad about that, so I decided to be quiet.

But I wondered what her status was like.

name: Annerose Leapman

gender: female

race: human

level: 36

job: Holy Knight

ＨＰ：２５３/８５０

ＭＰ：１７５/７５０

ＳＴＲ：３００

ＶＩＴ：１５８

ＤＥＸ：３２１

ＡＧＩ：２３３

ＩＮＴ：５４０

ＬＵＣ：９１

(Wow, level 36? In a typical RPG, that would be around the middle of the adventure.)

(But no, in the newer online games the levels go much higher. Maybe she's just getting started.)

(Also, "Holy Knight" is so cool. I wish I was something like that.)

"......"

(That reminds me: how long am I going to be here?)

If things were going to be like this, I should have asked for attack magic instead of recovery magic. If I had that I wouldn't be in jail.

Under these circumstances I couldn't do anything.

(What good is amazing recovery magic going to do me here? I wish I got more cheat skills than that.)

(...what exactly are cheat skills, anyway?)

While I was sitting in the corner of the room getting annoyed, I suddenly heard someone's voice. It came from outside the cell, and it seemed like 2 men were talking.

"Hurry up and get them. The preparations for the execution are already done."

"Ah, er, understood sir!"

It was a dangerous-sounding conversation.

(Surely they're not talking about me...right?)

The echoing footsteps of the jailer were making me feel nervous. And then, the sound stopped in front of my cell. The jailer took a key out of a bag, and unlocked the jail door. It opened with a dry rusty sound.

"Time to go, Mercedes."

"tch"

(Whew, it wasn't me. It was my cellmate.)

Looking at her, she was chewing on her lower lip in distress. Apparently she understood something about the situation.

"Hurry up."

The jailer came into the cell. It looked like he'd carry her off forcefully if necessary.

"Shut up, I absolutely won't forgive you for this!"

"Come on, hurry up."

The jailer grabber her arm and pulled her up.

Apparently this would be the day of her death. Despite her being a cute girl less than 20 years old.

"......"

As I was starting to worry about her, a conclusion came quickly.

(I've lived with this person for 3 days and 3 nights, so I should see if I can do something. And if I don't do something now, I have no idea when I'll be able to get out.)

At that moment, the jail door was conveniently wide open.

"Umm, Mr. Jailer?"

"You shut up!"

"Waaahh!"

Pretending to be scared, I retreated towards the shallow pit on the side of the cell. Over there was some shit my cellmate had left an hour ago that hadn't been washed away yet. I grabbed some with one hand, hiding it behind me.

"Come on!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Silence, you traitor!"

The jailer was completely focused on her.

"Um, Mr. Jailer..."

"I told you to shut up!"

And then, I hit him in the face with the shit in my right hand.

"Aughh! My eyes! This smell!"

His nose was twisted from the small, and some of it got in his eyes. He bent over in agony. That would probably cause a bacterial infection. E. coli can be vicious.

Three cheers for the smell of that girl's poop.

While he was panicking, I pulled out the sword on his hip and stabbed him in the stomach through the leather armor he was wearing.

"Gyaaaah!"

The jailkeeper screamed loudly.

"Good."

(Now we just need to escape. But it won't be easy.)

As I was thinking that, I suddenly felt weird. It was like I was filled with power, or maybe just had a lot of caffeine. Apparently I had leveled up from killing the jailer.

name: Tanaka

gender: male

race: human

level: 3

job: nothing in particular

ＨＰ：２０９/２０９

ＭＰ：９０５０００００/９０５０００００

ＳＴＲ：３０

ＶＩＴ：２０

ＤＥＸ：３１

ＡＧＩ：２９

ＩＮＴ：５７０２０００

ＬＵＣ：１２

(Wow, I went up 2 levels.)

I was glad my HP had increased. As expected, only having 9 HP would have been bad.

"...hey, you bastard! What have you done?"

She yelled at me.

(Hey, it's especially important to stay calm at times like this, miss.)

"Will you at least cooperate when we're escaping?"

After a moment of hesitation, she gave me a small nod.

"I understand."

"OK then."

"But in exchange, give me that sword."

(In exchange for what? Working together? I see how it is.)

"Fine."

I gave her the sword.

"From here on I'll handle things somehow. You can just follow me."

"Yeah, yeah."

"There, there's shit on the sword?!"

"That's yours."

"Shut up! Just shut up and go!"

As she said, our battle formation would be the beautiful girl in front and the ugly guy in back.

Soldiers who'd heard the jailer's cry had come. She charged forward enthusiastically, cut through the soldiers blocking us and kicked them away.

And so, we escaped from the jail.

---

The jail was to the side of a castle. The two of us ran away from the castle, towards the town. Our path went back and forth, and our pursuers lost sight of us.

Then, we ran into a back alley for a little while. She stopped running and looked back, catching me by surprise. My breathing was ragged at that point, and I was relieved to stop.

(Have we finally reached a point where it's safe to stop?)

No, that didn't seem to be why she stopped. She put the point of the sword to my neck.

"You can just do as I say, now."

"...eh?"

"You're a criminal. Did you think I would overlook your jailbreak?"

"No, uh, I didn't do anything particularly bad."

"So now, I'll take you into custody personally."

"Um, but you were there too."

"Don't lump me in with trash like you!"

"...are you for real?"

Even if god had given me recovery magic, there was no way I could revive myself after I died.

She took some rope out of a bag she'd carried off, and I ended up being tied up on the cold stone pavement.

(When did she get rope?)

She tied my wrists behind my back, and tied that rope to a window. I felt like a dog tied up in a yard.

"Now then, you can get caught again and go back to the jail."

"...seriously? Come on..."

"No thanks are necessary, this is a free service for criminals."

And so, she ran off, leaving me there.

◇◆◇

I was left by myself in the back of the alley. Eventually, I managed to stand up somehow.

(I should see if I can escape.)

I couldn't get the rope to loosen. She'd tied me unnecessarily firmly, and she'd used a stick with the rope somehow.

(Apparently that girl is an expert at tying people up.)

---

"...it's over."

I wondered if I'd starve to death there, tied up like that. I'd been stuck for long enough that my pants were already wet from urine.

(Who would come save this dirty ugly guy?)

"Ow...this seriously hurts..."

(I don't want to die, not here.)

As I was thinking that, I heard someone's voice. I turned towards that sound, and saw a few delinquent-looking young men.

"Hey, I found something unusual."

"Ah?"

I'd been found. They quickly formed a semicircle around me.

"Umm, excuse me, but could you please do something about this rope?"

I made an extremely awkward plea. Instead of a reply, I got a kick in the face.

"Gaaah."

"What is this guy? He's gross."

"Let's do him."

"Yeah."

"He's just a begger, so there's no problem if he dies."

"No shit."

"I could use some stress relief."

"Do it, do it."

(These guys are dangerous!)

Then they beat me up. But they only beat me up for a short while; how nice of them.

I was in a lot of pain when they got tired of beating me up and left. Somehow they had broken the stick in the ropes and loosened them while beating me up. On the other hand, I was almost dead.

name: Tanaka

gender: male

race: human

level: 3

job: nothing in particular

ＨＰ：１/２０９

ＭＰ：９０５０００００/９０５０００００

ＳＴＲ：３０

ＶＩＴ：２０

ＤＥＸ：３１

ＡＧＩ：２９

ＩＮＴ：５７０２０００

ＬＵＣ：１２

My HP was dangerously low.

"Recovery magic, recovery..."

As I was thinking about how to use my recovery magic, my body started glowing. The pain had disappeared, and I checked my status.

name: Tanaka

gender: male

race: human

level: 3

job: nothing in particular

ＨＰ：２０９/２０９

ＭＰ：９０５０００００/９０５０００００

ＳＴＲ：３０

ＶＩＴ：２０

ＤＥＸ：３１

ＡＧＩ：２９

ＩＮＴ：５７０２０００

ＬＵＣ：１２

"It worked! Amazing!"

Any MP I had used had already been recovered, probably because of my "MP recovery" passive skill. I almost certainly would have died if not for my recovery magic.

(This world is too dangerous!)

◇◆◇

I'd escaped from my predicament. I was safely in the town, and the pursuers had given up. My injuries had been healed, and I was in perfect health. Things were great! Except for my ragged and bloodstained clothes.

"...I look like the ultimate slum dweller right now."

I walked to the main street, and everyone nearby avoided me. I also had urine on my clothes and stank. It was fairly obvious what the people nearby thought of me.

(I need some clothes.)

I looked around for some way to get better clothes.

"Clothes, clothes..."

(Ah, shit. I have no money either. I wish I had some money.)

...

(I'll have to earn some money somehow. This is a fantasy European Middle Ages-style world, so maybe there's an adventurer's guild.)

And so, I decided to find an adventurer's guild.