Book 1: Chapter 2: Adventurer's Guild pt.1

"Here it is."

After trying to talk to several people in the town, I finally found one who was willing to tell me where the Adventurer's Guild was.

"Michael" was the name of the person who'd helped me. I remembered it so that in case I avoided death by hanging, I could properly thank them later.

(Time to find a quest.)

The guild had swinging wooden double doors that looked like they were from a "Western" movie. Inside, there were a lot of people with scary faces.

They were all staring at me.

(Scary!)

I shakily headed towards the counter. Standing there was a bald macho man about my age.

"Excuse me, I want to do a quest to make some money."

He answered me frankly: "Eh? You want to become an adventurer? At your age?"

"Er, yes. I do."

"....."

He made a complicated face.

"...fine, write your name and such on this paper."

"OK."

As I brought my right hand up to the counter, I realized something.

There was still shit on it. Mercedes-chan's poop.

(If the man at the counter saw that he'd probably take away the application sheet. That was close.)

I quickly thrust my right hand into my pocket.

(Apart from that, I smell like a bad fart right now.)

"Hey, what is it?"

"....."

"...and hey, don't you stink? Is that smell from you?"

He glared at me.

(Oh-oh.)

But that wasn't my biggest problem.

I could't read the alphabet used. Obviously, I couldn't write it either.

"Excuse me, I can't read and write."

"Eh? Then just say it instead. I'll generously transcribe for you."

"Thanks."

I escaped from my pinch surprisingly easily.

I told him my personal information, and he wrote it down. Occasionally he muttered something about the smell.

"Name?"

"Tanaka, Yoshio Tanaka."

"Location?"

"Here."

"Age?"

"36."

"Class?"

"Uh, Class 3A."

"Huh? Never heard of that class."

"Ah...."

(What's a class?)

"Oh, whatever. Do you have any special skills?"

The guy at the counter clearly didn't want to be talking to a gross guy like me. If I was in his position I'd feel the same way.

(I should finish this quickly. The information I give here doesn't really matter anyway, right?)

"Um, I'm good with PCs."

"PCs???"

"Yes."

"Fine then, PCs it is."

I could see that he'd just left a blank space on the page. With that, apparently the form was done.

"Here's your guild badge."

"Thanks."

I was handed a metal plate about the size of a trading card.

"Don't lose it."

"OK."

"Go hunt some goblins in the forest. If you can't do that, go collect some medicinal herbs. The guild will pay you for both of those things. You're rank F, so that's the work you can do."

"I understand."

"Bye."

I seemed to be done there, so there was no point in staying. I headed out to find some goblins and herbs.

◇◆◇

I left the town with no problems. When I returned, apparently I could get through if I showed my guild badge.

After that, I walked for a while. I headed towards what looked like a thicket of trees I saw in the distance. Before too long, I arrived.

"It's a forest."

I had arrived at a forest. A forest!

Still with shit on my right hand.

With only the clothes I'd been wearing in prison.

(I guess I'll look for some medicinal herbs, then.)

(But wait, I'd get shit on them. That would be bad.)

(I should wash my hands in a stream or something first.)

I was also thirsty, and really wanted to wash my clothes. I still had blood on my clothes from when I was attacked by that group of thugs.

So, I headed into the forest. Leaves crunched under my feet as I walked.

I walked on, but I didn't see a stream. Apparently it wouldn't be easy to find one.

After walking for about an hour, I had naively gotten lost.

"This is tough."

How many years has it been since I walked someplace with no asphalt? It had probably been more than 10 years since I'd walked outdoors for more than an hour straight.

(What do I do?)

I had no idea which way the town was anymore.

My recovery magic had fixed the soreness in my legs, but I was still thirsty. I suspected my magic couldn't deal with hunger either. More than goblins or herbs, I needed water to drink, food to eat, and the direction back to the town.

"Heeeeeey! Helloooooo!"

Feeling depressed, I called out as I continued walking. After I'd called out, I saw something goblin-looking ahead.

"There it is."

"...hyumann?..."

The goblin had noticed me too. But it didn't attack. I could see that its foot and leg had been cut. That was probably why.

"That looks like it must hurt."

"Kuh...is thiz whare I die?"      [tl note: The goblin speaks Japanese in katakana.]

It was holding a sword in its hand, but its knee was shaking and blood was pooling at it s feet. It had escaped from an attack, but not from imminent death from blood loss, and it looked like even I could defeat it with a stick from the ground.

But I'd feel bad about that.

"Hey, goblin. Let's make a deal."

"di...al...?"

"I heal your wound, and you lead me to a stream."

"Wha...what..."

"No good?"

"......"

The wounded goblin seemed to be thinking. Considering its wound, it didn't have long to live.

"Yez, deal..."

It nodded.

(Good choice, goblin.)

"Just remember your promise, now."

I remembered how things had went with a certain Holy Knight recently.

(Eh, it's probably fine, right? Besides, getting killed with a sword isn't any worse than dying of thirst.)

"Here I go..."

I thought about healing the wounds I could see, and they started closing up before my eyes. The recovery magic had worked on the goblin. I didn't know what exactly that magic was called, but it was definitely impressive.

"...healed...?"

"That should about do it."

I stopped focusing on healing the goblin.

"Thiz is...recovery majic?"

"Now then, please lead me to a stream."

"...yez."

Following the goblin for a while, I reached a stream.

◇◆◇

I finally washed off the shit that I'd had on my right hand for a few hours.

"Ahh, goodbye to that smell."

While I was there, I also washed my pants and shirt and body. Without the blood and dirt, my clothes would be more-or-less wearable. Putting on the wet clothes would be a little unpleasant, but I couldn't do much about that.

"Thanks, goblin. You really helped me there."

"...juzt, reterning fayvor..."

"By the way, are there any humans living along this stream?"

"Probly. Humanz...yez."

"I see. Then I should be able to return safely."

Having finally cleaned myself, my thoughts turned to how I'd survive in this world.

"...human, what doing?"

"Eh? Me?"

"Yez."

The goblin was indeed talking to the ugly guy kneeling by the bank and scooping up water to drink with his hand.

"While looking for medicinal herbs, I got lost."

"Herbz? Grazz?"

"It's a kind of grass that if you mash it up and put it on wounds, it makes them hurt less."

"...I see."

"Does something like that grow near here?"

"Yez, it grows."

"Eh, really? Where?"

"Wait a little."

"Ah, a little, where are you going?"

The goblin had already wandered off somewhere as I said that.

Like it had said to, I waited a little while. I was lucky that it was warm out. The weather was about like Japan in early summer, so I wasn't too cold from my shirt and pants being soaking wet. I had gotten a little hot while walking around, so it was actually nice.

"Ahh."

I quickly got bored.

Several minutes later, the goblin returned.

"...this."

It held some grass in its hand.

"Those are medicinal herbs?"

"Probably. Mash, place, recovery, fazter."

"I see. They do have a surprisingly characteristic look to them."

The leaves were like a 4-leaf clover, but with 8 leaves. An 8-leaf clover.

"...thizz, give."

"Ah, to me?"

"Yez."

"Thank you!"

"...beecause, you saved mee."

"You're a really friendly goblin."

"Goblinz, not good, not bad."

"Ah, neither good nor bad. I see. Humans are the same way. Thanks."

"Iz OK."

(That was educational.)

I'd learned something about goblins, and both found out what the medicinal herbs looked like and gotten a bundle of them. I accepted them and put them in my pants pocket. Luckily, I was wearing cargo pants. I managed to carefully get all of them in my pockets without damaging them.

"You really saved me there."

"I, leaving now."

"Thanks! Good-bye!"

"Goohd-bye."

I waved my arm at the goblin, and it waved back.

(You're a good guy, Mr. Goblin. I don't know if all goblins are like that, or just him, but so far the only goblin I've met was definitely friendly.)

(It was a good thing I didn't try to go for the goblin-hunting quest. I should stick to collecting these herbs instead.)