Chapter 665

A film of "to his liking" can be regarded as giving the audience a laugh on one side, but also letting the audience feel relieved in the sketch on the other.

There must be more things that the common people encounter than those in the sketches, but we can only think about it in our hearts.

But today, Xiao Jun's sketches do speak from everyone's heart.

"If you want to make achievements, there is no shortcut. You have to be conscientious and down-to-earth. Besides, don't always give yourself a stage name when you have nothing to do. Otherwise, there's really good news coming. It's sad that you dare not accept it. "

……

"That's enough, Ma Jing, flatterer, black sheep! The relevant departments have grasped your questions for a long time. Today I just want to understand them. It's an eye opener. Don't do business with the national money. Take a shortcut. You can wait to deal with it. "

……

"When something big happened, the chief of the unit, Mr. Ma, was also photographed. Don't always think about what the leaders think about. Think more about what the common people need. "

……

"I understand now, and I will take warning later. If you want to be a competent cadre, you must refuse pornography, gambling and flattery. "

"Wow..."

With warm applause, Xiao Jun stepped off the stage.

Everyone felt a kind of hearty.

Xiao Jun's essays are awesome.

If we say that "not bad for money" just now is to constantly stimulate the audience's laughter. Well, this one is just to inspire the audience.

Everyone feels that this Spring Festival Gala is definitely worth seeing here.

But no one thought that just half an hour later, Xiao Jun's name appeared in everyone's ears again.

"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk" how are you ", performed by Xiao Jun and Li Qian."

Is Xiao Jun going to be on stage again?

God, what is he going to do? Has he just finished his Spring Festival Gala of Xiao Jun?

In the crowd's astonishment, Xiao Jun and Li Qian changed their robes and coats and stepped onto the stage again.

Xiao Jun: "Hello, audience friends, we meet again."

Li Qian: "yes, I can't even if I don't want to see you."

Xiao Jun: "this one next to me, everyone knows, li..."

Xiao Jun a pull long sound, immediately under the stage is Qi Qi's a "owe!"

Li Qian shook his head helplessly: "I really owe you this time."

Ha ha ha

Xiao Jun: "Mr. Li Qian can be said to be my good teacher and helpful friend. If you want me to give Mr. Li a score, then I will give it ten points!"

Li Qian said modestly: "you're welcome, are you so good?"

Xiao Jun then said, "well, as for the remaining 9990 points, I..."

Li Qian was stunned and said, "ah? The full mark is ten thousand? "

Although the audience has seen Xiao Jun several times, they can still be amused by his cross talk.

These words, many people laugh stomachache.

Li Qian: "ten thousand points, I have ten? That's too much for me! Are you praising me? "

Xiao Jun: "I mean, there is still room for improvement."

Li Qian: "you have a rest now. You start to step on me when it's new year's day. Let me ask you, how many points do you give yourself?"

Xiao Jun: "me? I can't

Li Qian was concerned and said, "Oh, what's wrong with the new year's Eve? Haven't you been all right? "

Xiao Jun a gesture: "you see you hold me today, in fact, I can't before."

Li Qian: "Hey, there are times when everyone can't do it."

Xiao Jun: "before talking about cross talk, I didn't even have a stable job."

Li Qian: "really?"

Xiao Jun said: "at that time just graduated from University, go out to look for a job."

Li Qian: "it's all the same."

Xiao Jun: "I have a dream since I was a child. I want to be a football player."

Li Qian looked at him, "yes."

Xiao Jun: "I went to sign up at that time. As a result, the coach of the team saw that I was a fan. He said that I was more than 14000 times better than last year's World Footballer of the year!"

Li Qian was surprised and said, "Oh, that's a genius!"

Xiao Jun: "then he said, there are only two things that hinder my development."

Li Qian strange way: "which two?"

Xiao Jun: "left leg with right leg."

When the audience heard this, they all laughed.

Left leg and right leg?

You can't play with both legs.

Li Qian vomited blood, "Hey, then say you are not the material to do this!"

Xiao Jun said: "I hate it too. As soon as I see that playing football is out of the question, I'd better apply for a job in a private enterprise. I put in a resume and went for an interview. The examiner didn't even look at me and said, "I'll give you a minute to remember you."Li Qian said with a smile, "yes, many interviews say that."

Xiao Jun: "I think it's OK. I walk over and give him a big mouth. Then I turn around and run!"

Li Qian was startled, "Oh, that's really remember you."

Xiao Jun: "as a result, I passed the interview. As soon as I got out of the company, I got a phone call from my back. The man said," please come to the company right now. "

Li Qian: "Hi."

Xiao Jun: "I thought for a long time, but I didn't dare to go!"

Li Qian said with a smile, "I shouldn't go."

Xiao Jun said: "I hate it. When I enter the roadside toilet, I wash my face and say to me in the mirror," Xiao Jun, you should be strong. You can't be defeated by such a little difficulty. Come on, stick to it! "

Li Qian nodded, "don't lose heart."

Xiao Jun: "after cheering myself up, I calmed down a little. When I came out of the toilet, I saw a man come out of the door of the toilet opposite you da."

Speaking of this, Xiao Jun looks back in horror.

Li Qian was shocked, "ah? You stay with the ladies' room for a long time? "

Xiao Jun said: "I'll run quickly!"

Li Qian: "I have to run."

Xiao Jun: "a group of old ladies came out of the toilet to chase me. The leader yelled," catch him, just him, and talk to the women's toilet. I'm so scared that I dare not come out! "

Li qianle said: "you are unlucky enough."

Xiao Junhui said: "I think it's impossible to go on like this. I have to work and make money. What can I do if I want to make money? You have to pay first. "

Li Qian shook his head: "Hey, gift giving?"

Xiao Jun: "after spending a lot of money, I finally became a formal state-owned enterprise employee, working in Beijing."

Li Qian: "yes?"

Xiao Jun said happily, "we have a good job. We don't have to work every day. The section chief who gave us gifts often takes us out to dinner. There are only seven or eight people. Every time it's a big table."

Li Qian: "what kind of food?"

Xiao Jun: "yes, steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail.

Shaohua duck, Shao chicken, Shaozi goose,

roasted pig, Shaozi duck, pickled chicken, bacon,

Songhua belly, sausages,

assorted crispy plate, smoked chicken, white face,

steamed Babao pig, jiangmi duck,

canned pheasant, canned quail,

stewed pieces of stewed geese,

preserved pheasant, rabbit, leimang, silverfish, steamed mashed leech,

stewed duck, Yao'er, stewed duck strips,

< br

Stir fried turtle, carp and prawn,

soft fried fillet, soft fried chicken and mixed intestines,

stewed hanya'er, spicy oil rolls,

fried mushroom, preserved fish, fried fish belly, fried fish fillet with vinegar.... "

This large section of traditional "newspaper dish name" has made all the audience silly!

The crosstalk actors watching the program in front of the TV also looked at each other and took a breath of air!

Many people in Guankou will say that, especially in the name of dishes, this is a basic skill for their crosstalk actors, and a lot of hilarious actors can come to the last paragraph.

Originally, people in the field of crosstalk resisted Xiao Jun, which meant that Xiao Jun was not an orthodox crosstalk apprentice and had never learned the basic skills of crosstalk.

Who can imagine that Xiao Jun's basic skills on stage are even more powerful than those of professional crosstalk actors.

I'm not afraid of talented people or capable people. I'm afraid that people are both talented and capable.

All the audience applauded Xiao Jun.

Xiao Jun on the stage finished.

Li Qian said, "why do you want so many dishes? How much will it cost? "

Xiao Jun shook hands, "public money!"

Li Qian suddenly said, "Hi!"

"Public money for food and drink, public money for tourism."

Hearing this, all the audience couldn't help laughing and said that Xiao Jun had to satirize public funds for eating and drinking?

But in the process of traveling, I found some uncivilized phenomena

Li Qian asked: "what phenomenon?"

Xiao Jun: "some monuments, scenic spots, signs, even someone wrote on them, what a tour here, what I love you so and so, and someone engraved the name on it, what Li Qian..."

Li Qian quickly stopped, "no me! I won't do it

Xiao Jun: "just take an example."

Li Qian said: "there is such an uncivilized phenomenon!"

Xiao Jun: "I have a strong sense of justice. When I see this, I get angry. I can't do it. I have to talk about them. What a shame

Li Qian nodded, "yes, we have to talk about them!"As soon as Xiao Jun pondered, he picked up the fan on the table as a pen and wrote in the void.

"Comrade, I want to criticize you! How can you scribble here? Do you have any quality? Do you have any public morality? What did your father teach you? What did your mother teach you? How did your grandfather teach you? What did your grandmother teach you? How did your aunt teach you? How did your eighth aunt teach you? "

Li Qian was confused.

The audience was stunned.

When Xiao Jun put down his pen, he said: "anyway, I scolded him a thousand words on the wall. How irritating

Li Qian glared and said, "more than a thousand words?"

Xiao Jun: "that's right. They are so uncivilized!"

Li Qian said: "when someone writes a" visit here ", it's only four words at most. Do you write more than one thousand words? You are more uncivilized than him

Mr. Li Qian, as an explanation, said that this was just a laugh under the stage.

"Do you think Xiao Jun is cheap?"

"Well, I feel that according to Xiao Jun's temper, he can do such things."

"Ha ha ha, I can't do it. I'm dead with laughter."

"No one can match Xiao Jun!"