Chapter 61 - No One To Blame But Myself

Adam didn’t come back for days.

I went through the delivery alone and was quite weak when the raven returned to me.

It sat on the window sill looking at me while I half sat on my bed.

“Come here.” I ordered it and it flew to my side and hopped on the bed towards me. “Do you know where Adam is?” It didn’t answer me like it was afraid to say something so I had no choice but to take the magic out of it to see for myself.

The moment I did my blood began to boil, fear and jealousy began to take over me and that was when I came to know that Werewolves have their mates pre-decided by fate.

In the memory I got from the raven I learned he had found his true mate in the human world.

I saw Adam making his way to the forest when another werewolf emerged from the other side of the forest. The moment they both laid eyes on each other they froze. The female wolf shifted to her human form and ran to him and embraced him, sliding her arms around his waist and locking them there.

“My love.” The woman said, “My destined partner.” She cooed , “Won’t you take me back home with you?” She kissed him and he didn’t step away. When she broke the kiss she asked him, “I heard you have a lover.”

“How do you know that?” He was surprised, as if he had been caught.

“There’s a rumour about it, but well,” She traced his shoulder with her index finger, “It doesn’t matter, I’m your mate by destiny and fate, there is nothing that can separate us.” She grinned and Adam took off his jacket and then wrapped it around her.

“If you’re going to shift in a foreign place carry some clothes with you.”

She was touched by his actions and hugged him once again. I couldn’t watch it anymore.and stopped the memory record, then slowly laid down on the bed.

For a few moments I was completely numb.

Then my mind began to fill up with questions.

How long has he been doing this?

For how long has he been cheating on me?

Is that why he’s gone for weeks? Because of her?

There was so much anger in me I had to sit up. I clenched my fists in anger.

Did he ever love me?

Was it all fake from the start?

Did he think I was a toy? Some kind of a doll to play with? Or perhaps he came over because I always healed him up.

He was using me all this time???

“Esra!!” I didn’t realize Arsay had come in till the time she was holding my shoulders and trying to calm me down, “Esra calm down, what’s wrong??”

A tear slipped down my cheeks when I came out of my thoughts and saw her, “Arsay…”

“Esra!” She panicked, “What’s wrong?”

“Arsay… Adam, he-” It hurt me so much to talk about it. I was having difficulty breathing. It felt like I was falling into a deep deep ocean. Suffocating alone in the cold lonely endless liquid.

“What did he do? Did something happen to him?”

“He has a mate.” I laughed sarcastically as more tears fell, “Did you know that werewolves had mates pre-decided by fate?”

“Wait…” The color on Arsay’s face left, “You’re telling me you’re not his true mate?”

“You knew about that?” I was astounded at her question.

“Well,” She panicked, “Alister told me about it and all along I thought his mate was you.” There was so much pity in her eyes that I felt pathetic.

Like a child who newly learns that all his beliefs were merely delusion.

I ended up laughing even more, “Well it wasn’t me…” I looked at the empty cradle of Yohan, “He even had a kid with me.” I gritted my teeth, “He could have told me it wasn’t me!!” I got angrier, “But instead he claimed to love me!” I sniffled, “That bastard…”

“Esra calm down!” She hugged me, “There is disruption in the forest if you get angry.” She held my body that was trembling with anger, “I came to your room because the trees were wailing! And you didn’t even notice!”

Ah!

Oh right… I should calm down…

Right.

I’m a Queen. I have to stay calm.

I gulped as I told myself but it was no use.

The feelings were too strong at the moment.

“Take deep breaths Esra!” Arsay told me and I did what I was told. “It’s alright.” She said, “Forget about Adam,” She whispered, “You now have the most wonderful thing in the world.”

I sniffled and she wiped away my tears, “Most wonderful thing?”

“Yes.” She smiled, “Yohan. Your baby.”

My heart melted at her words.

That’s right.

I have Yohan.

I finally smiled.

“Where is he?” I asked her, “I want to hold him.”

“I left him with woodland fairies since I had no idea why the trees suddenly started acting up. It scared the shit of me to be honest.” She sighed, “I’ll bring him to you now.”

“I’ll go to him myself.” I stood up slowly, “I’ve been in this room for days. I need some fresh air.”

“Alright.” She supported me and we both went down and walked in the forest.

I was keeping my focus on Yohan only, trying my best not to think about anything else to stay calm but maybe destiny didn’t want that and maybe fate was too bored that it wanted some drama.

As we walked a little further some of the fairies came to us, “Are you alright now my queen?” One of them asked.

“I’m fine, sorry about the ruckus but why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Yohan?”

“Oh not to worry, the prince’s father is here. He took him.”

My heart dropped as soon as I heard that. The smile I had barely managed vanished like it never existed.

I felt cold and dizzy when Arsay grabbed my arm, “Esra…” She supported me until I stood up straight again.

“Why is he here?” I was getting a bad vibe all of a sudden, my mind was getting filled with bad thoughts again. I shot my head at the fairies, “Take me to him! Now!”

They got scared when I raised my voice but immediately did what I ordered and flew in the direction they came from.

I ran after them and as I was running, I noticed how familiar the path was.

The path I had tread on my times to receive and send off a person.

The path that led to that one certain Dryad.

Oh no no no!!

Don’t tell me he wants to take Yohan away???

I increased my speed and ran as fast as I could but by the time I reached, Adam was already standing near the Dryad with my baby in his arms.

“Adam!!” I yelled his name and he looked back at me, “What do you think you’re doing?” As soon as I saw his face so many emotions began to dwell in me. All the raw emotions which I had no time to work on began to boil my blood and blind my judgment.

“Esra…” He said my name in a low tone. His voice felt so distant and cold, I could finally tell there was no love in them. Was I blind and deaf all this time?

“Give him back to me.” I demanded. I was angry and the forest began to wail when my emotions began to disturpt even me.

“I can’t” He said, “I’m taking him with me.” He spoke in a normal tone that also seemed somewhat dead.

“No!!!” I yelled and the forest threw out a strong gust of wind. Leaves rustled and were forced to leave the breaches due to the strong force.

This cheater!

He was the only man I loved in centuries yet he betrayed me. Took me for a fool and now he wants to take my only child away from me?

The ground shook as dark energy began to swirl around me that alerted all the beings around me. The animals and the fairies began to run away while Arsay stood there in shock.

“Esra what are you doing?” She asked in horror.

“I’m going to give him something he’ll never forget.” Dark mist began to form around my hands as I conjured a curse.

“Aunt??” I heard Quincelet’s voice from behind me, he stood there confused, not sure what was happening.

“Quincy stay away!!” Arsay ran to him to keep him out of the way but didn’t stop me.

Adam got the gist of it and he asked the Dryad to open the portal for him.

“Esra, don’t do this.” He said.

“Why? So you could live happily with your mate?” I gritted my teeth, “You should have never come back.” I raised my arms as I collected the energy for the black magic. At the same time white mist began to emerge from the ground. A sign that the portal will soon open.

“...” Adam had no words to say to me. He shut his trap since now he found out that I knew he was playing with me.

Must have been fun for him. Playing with an innocent heart that knew nothing.

But alas it was stupid of me to trust an outsider.

“I’ll give you a gift.” I threw the dark ball towards him as the portal opened and he began to run towards it. ““You’ll never find happiness with your destined lover. She will never love you back and her rejection will kill you!!” I screamed, “If not, the curse shall be contrariwise. You will have no escape from it in this life!!” Just before he was about to cross the energy hit him.

My eyes grew wide when I noticed something odd.

My sweat went cold and I couldn’t believe what I did.

Adam tripped and fell to the ground but he was completely safe, instead, the curse hit Yohan.

No…

In the moment of defence Adam turned around, exposing the baby to the curse as well and instead of him the dark mist engulfed my own child.

What have I done??

I began to walk towards them but Adam noticed.

Afraid I’d use something like that again, he stood up and jumped through the portal. Just as he did the portal closed down.

“Dryad!” I called it, “Open the portal again!” I demanded but nothing happened. I looked at the Oak tree angrily, “Open it!!” I was dying of desperation here, “I have to see him! Please!!”

There was nothing.

“Come on!” I yelled as tears slipped down my face, “I have to get my baby back.” My legs suddenly went weak and I fell to my knees.

“Esra…” Arsay called out to me in horror and I looked back at her. She had her hands covering her mouth in fear, “Your hair…” She said and I looked back down.

They were becoming one with the ground.

I stared at it wide-eyed and blank mindedly.

In that moment I realized what I had done, that I was truly doomed and I had no one to blame but myself.

And all I was left with was despair, sorrow and an eternity of longing